TW: Mentions of medication, kissing, flirting, mention of hurricanes, Francis, and suicidal thoughts
John and Alexander had just started dating. And things were going perfectly. Sure, they did have a lot of things to tell each other regarding their life.
Like how John needs his medications to function. But even with them, he can go from happy and smiling to wanting to end it all faster than his friendship with a certain friend ended.
He'll get random rages of outbursts, as he did with Francis, his ex. Who John hoped was going through the worst amount of pain a human could go through.
Yet, even with the medications John still feels sad. He didn't bother to look up what his medications do. Because he has to resist the urge to down them all at once.
But, aren't they supposed to block out the sad chemicals? And produce happy ones? It sounds stupid, but so is still having to take medications.
Why couldn't he just be happy?
Alexander still had to tell his entire childhood to John. On how he freaks out during storms. How he'd rather stay up late doing homework than talk to people.
He would have to open up and explain why he hates getting attached to people. How he has a bag full of important things just in case he has to leave because of a hurricane.
He hates feeling connected to anyone who could effortlessly leave him in a heartbeat.
John could leave you.
John would be so better without you.
Everyone would be so better without-
"Hey Lexi, do you wanna stop gazing and start picking out an outfit?" John asked, smiling and noticing Alexander's gaze, his voice soft and soothing.
Don't get attached
He's gonna leave you
Alexander's heart skipped a beat, and he took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of lavender and John's cologne. "But how can I with those eyes?" he replied, watching as John went into the closet, his voice full of love and desire.
Don't leave
As John searched for an outfit, Alexander couldn't help but admire his grace and poise.
He un-tensed his shoulders, which he didn't realize were tensed up, and smiled softly at John, savoring the way his scent mixed with the fresh air in the room.
"I mean, I do have lovely eyes, thank you," John spoke in the beat of a melody as he searched for an outfit, his voice warm and inviting, his scent intoxicating.
"Don't let that go to your head nature boy," Alexander replied, walking a little faster to catch up to John, his heart beating fast with fear, his senses heightened by John's presence.
As Alex approached him, Alexander couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and fear.
He had a fear of losing John and getting too attached to him, and the scent of lavender and John's cologne only intensified his emotions.
"Nature boy?" John asked, putting a hand in his pocket as he smiled down at Alexander, his eyes full of warmth and affection, his scent filling the room.
"Well, yeah, that's where we first saw each other, on a lake, you had animals on you," Alexander's voice quieted down as John approached him, his senses overwhelmed by John's scent and presence.
"Should I call you Shortie then? Considering when I first saw you, I noticed how short you were," John smiled, striding toward Alexander, his scent filling the room with a warm, comforting aroma.
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-DISCONTINUED-ISH-Between the Lines, A Lams Fanfic-DISCONTINUED-ISH-
FanfictionJohn Laurens lived an uneventful life, devoid of any excitement or adventure. Though he tried to remember every detail from his high school and college days, his memories were fragmented and often failed to make sense. He was heavily reliant on his...
