My Only Hope

Chapter 22

It was two am and I was struggling to breath. Memories rush into my head as I stand up. I felt sick to my stomach.
I needed cameron.
I slowly got up as my breath began to quicken. I threw on a oversized sweater and headed quietly down the stairs and out the door. I turned on the flashlight on my phone and walk to cams house. I was crying now and my breath quickened even more. I got the spare key and unlocked the door. I went upstairs and quietly opens the door trying not to scare cam.
"Cam?" I say shaking him.
"Lilly?" He asks turning on his dim lamp next to his bed.
"Li- lilly what's wrong?" He asks sitting up and pulling me down onto his bed.
"I don't know I just woke up upset and crying and freaking out" I say not able to continue because I was crying.
"It's okay calm down try to breath it'll all be okay" he says holding me close to him.
"I'm sorry" I cry
"You have no reason to be sorry" he says.
"I just feel so stupid coming here crying"
"Lay with me" cam says and we lay back on his bed facing eachother.
"You're going to be okay" he smiles pushing a strand of hair out of my face.
"I hope" I say and close my eyes.
~~~~~
I woke up but didn't open my eyes. I was WAY too tired.
I rolled over and someone pulled me tightly into them. It freaked me out for a second until I realized it was cameron.
"Morning babygirl" he says and I died from his voice.
"Morning" I smile at him.
"You feelin any better?" He asks
"Yeah" I say.
I grab my phone. It was 10:30. I also had about 30 missed texts each from Sam, Jack, and nate.
"The guys think I've gone missing" I laugh.
I text them all back saying I was at camerons.
They all texted back okay except Sam.
Sam: you need to tell me before you go some where I was worried to death!!!
I laughed at his over protective text and locked my phone.
"I have to pee" cameron laughs and gets up and goes to the bathroom.
I get up and sit on the edge of the bed. Remembering last night. Cameron handled me coming into his room at 2am crying very well.
"You want a sweater?" Can asks and I nod. He goes into his closet and pulls out a Dark blue sweater. I put it on and he comes and sits next to me.
"I want you to know that I was happy you came to me last night. And that you know I'll help you" he says kissing my forehead and standing up.
"Hazelnut coffee?" He asks.
"Aw you know my favorite" I smile
We walk down to his living room and he makes my coffee as I sit down on the couch.
"Here you go my lady" he says handing me a cup and sitting down with his own.
"Thankyou" I say taking a sip.
"You look good in my sweaters" he says.
"I bet you'd look great in my black pumps" I laugh.
"I don't know about that" he laughs.
"Why are you here this early woman" nash says coming down the stairs.
"Because she stayed the night" cam says.
"What? When?" He asks.
"I came at 2 am" I laugh.
"Why...?"
"It's a secret"
"What do we want to do today?" Cam asks.
"Today is the guys last full day here so I was really wanting to spend it with them?" I say
"Yeah of course I can literally see you tomorrow" cam says
"Okay, well thanks for letting me stay last night, bye guys" I say hugging cam and leaving back to my house.
"I'm home guys" I say walking in the door.
Everyone was on their phone which I was fine with and got on mine.
I went on facebook and saw one of johnsons posts
Missing you😒
Probably about Gilinsky to be honest.
I posted a picture I found of me and cam that I took on my birthday. We both had really big smiles and I thought it was just adorable.
I hadn't been on facebook in days so I kinda stalked camerons profile..
His profile picture was us smiling and his cover photo was the picture of me him and nash from the picture they took of us on one of the roller coasters. We all knew when the picture was being taken so we made silly faces. I smiled at that and scrolled down. His news feed were mostly pictures of us and random statuses. I realized I was kinda stalking him and locked my phone.
"What are we doing today?" I ask.
"I was thinking just we could go to breakfast. I want my brother sister time before we go" Sam says
"Since when are you interested in brother sister time?" I laugh
"Since we used to hang out everyday but then I hadn't seen you in forever" he says
"Well okay" I say.
"Go get ready and we'll go" he says and I go upstairs.
I go into my closet and grab my favorite distressed jeans, a plain black shirt and some flats and put them on. I brush my messy hair and put it into a fishtail braid and just pop on some concealer and fill my eyebrows.
"I'm ready" I say walking into sams room.
"Okay let's go" he says.
---------------
"I can't believe you guys are leaving me" I say sadly.
"We will see you in 3 months" Sam says hugging me.
"I guess, but I'll miss you till then" I say and we let go.
"Bye lady" Jack says giving me a big hug.
"Bye dude" I laugh.
"Well at least I have three months to prepare for out just dance dance off" nate laughs hugging me.
"Don't get to ahead of yourself I'm a great dancer" I laugh.
"See you later" he says getting in the car. My mom and dad say bye to everyone and they drive away.
"I never thought I'd miss my brother so much" I say to cam.
"Well 3 months will go by fast" cam says
"Lilly sweety, we have a fancy dinner to go to tonight with some of your dads fancy work people and he's forcing us to go" my mom sighs.
"Seriously?!" I sigh.
"Yeah so please be home at 5 so you can be ready by 6:30" she says
"Can cameron come?" I ask
"Uhh" cameron awkwardly steps to the side.
"Yes of course the more people the better!" My mom says
"Please cam" I say
"Uh okay fine" he says.
"Great! Put on a suit and were good!" My mom says walking away.
"Why do I let you drag me into things like this?" He asks me.
"Because you love me" I smile and kiss him.
"I would absolutely love to hang out but this is something that I do not have an outfit for so I need to go shopping" I say.
"Okay that's fine I'll see you later" he says and leaves.
I go inside and ask my mom to take me. She grabs her keys and we leave.
We go into a store and I start to look. I grabbed a black dress that was plain and simple but perfect for this occasion. I tried it on. It came a few inches above my knees and had a sweetheart neck line and was a fit and flare.
"Is this okay?" I ask coming out of the dressing room showing my mom.
"You look beautiful" my mom says. I change back into my clothes and we buy the dress. We decided to shop around a little more.
"Cameron seems like such a sweet guy" she says
"He is" I smile
"So what even happened between you and jack?" She asks
"Alot" was all I Said. We started trying on shoes as we talked.
"I hate to say it but I like cameron better than jack" she says.
"He's just easier to be around honestly. It's like with Jack we were so close as friends but as a couple we drifted apart and weren't as close. And with cameron we were really close as friends but even closer as a couple." I explain.
"Does he know about your anxiety?" She asks.
"Yeah" I say
"When did you tell him?" She asks
"He found out" I say
"How?"
"We were doing a photoshoot and I had a panic attack in the dressing room, but he took care of me" I say
"He sounds great lilly" my mom smiles. I knew how happy it made her that I had someone.
"I love these!" I say standing up in the black and purple pumps I had on.
"Let's get them" my mom says. We buy the shoes and leave. Once we got home it was 3:30 so I decided to have a little pamper session. I ran a bath and put my favorite cupcake facemask on. I put a lush bomb in the bath and hopped in. I grabbed my phone and went on facebook.
Sam posted a picture of us and captioned it 'gunna miss this little one' I commented on it 'only by a year' referring to the phrase little one.
johnson liked it.
And commented on it..
'Yeah now you know how I feel'
What did that mean?
He missed me..?
I checked my notifications and saw I had a few comments on a selfie I had posted the previous day.
Jack Johnson: you look great, miss you xx
Cameron Dallas: beautiful baby😘
I felt uncomfortable with this.
Very.
Uncomfortable.
Lillian wilkinson: thanks Jack miss ya to, and thanks cam😘😘
That comment wasn't too weird was it?
Should I have deprecated the comments? Ugh this was too complicated.
I got out of the bath and wiped my facemask off.
I put on my dress and started to brush my hair. I got my nume wand and curled my hair from root to end. I brushed out the curls so they would be bigger and fluffier.
I did my full on makeup and slipped on my new pumps. I looked in the mirror before being interrupted by my mom walking in my door.
"Oh sweety you look beautiful!" She says
"Really?" I ask
"Yes! And cameron just arrived looking almost as amazing as you" she says
"He's here already? Does my hair look okay?" I ask
"Don't let yourself go crazy like this over him. He likes you for you. Not for your perfect hair or the way you look, okay?" She says
"Okay I'll be down in a sec" I say.
I didn't feel myself. This outfit wasn't me. And there was only one thing that could make it more me.
I grabbed my white flower crown and put it on.
"much better" I say to myself before walking downstairs and into the living room where everyone was.
Cameron turns around and looks me u and down quite a few times and a smile grows on his face.
he walks over to me and grabs my hands.
"You look beautiful" he says and I smile.
"You look amazing yourself" I say looking at his nice suit.
"I like the flower crown" he whispers and I laugh and we then saw a flash and my mom stands there with a guilty expression holding her phone.
"Mom I know I never went to prom but this is not the time" I laugh.
"Let's go we don't want to be late" my dad says.
Me and cam decide to take his car and follow behind my Parents car.
We pull into a super huge and fancy house. I felt uncomfortable because there were 3 other cars. My dad said only the biggest people in the company were invited but I didn't think it'd be 4 family's.
"You ready?" Cam asks.
"Kind of have to be" I say getting out and my parents walk over to me.
"Well let's go" they say and we ring the door bell.
"Hello Dave, Lori" a man says shaking my mom and dads hands.
"Harry this is my daughter lilly" I smile and shake his hand. "And this is her boyfriend cameron" he says and cameron shakes his hand.
"Nice to meet you two" the man smiles.
The man started having conversation with my parents so me and cameron decided to walk off. I saw two girls who had very tight and very exposed dresses looking at cameron like he was a piece of meat. I tightened my grip on his arm feeling insecure.
"You okay?" He asks.
I wasn't going to let these girls ruin my night.
"Kiss me" I say.
"Okay" he smirks and leans down and kisses me. Not too short. Not too long. But long enough for those girls to see.
"Oh hey guys" cameron says to the girls. Seriously. He. Knew. Them.
"Hey cameron" the one with short blonde hair says smiling at him.
"Oh guys this is my girlfriend lilly, lilly this is Mandy and jenna" cam says.
"Nice to meet you guys" I smile.
"Please we all know you'd rather be anywhere but with is right now" Mandy says
"Excuse me?" I say
"We saw that little scene you did" she puts her hand on her hip.
"If this night wasn't so important to my dad you would-" cameron cut me off.
"I know you're still mad at me but I will not let you take it out on my girlfriend." Cameron says pulling me out the back door.
"Who even was she?" I ask
"A snobby rich girl I dated two years ago" cam says.
"Y-you dated her?" I ask in a softer tone
"Yeah, are you okay?" He asks.
"Yeah I'm fine" I say. But I was confused. Why would he date me when someone that looks like that is around. She made me feel self conscious. Was I not everything cameron wanted? I mean if he dated a girl like that why would he settle for someone like me?
"Lilly, sweety, I know when somethings wrong with you. And you look like your thoughts are running a mile a minute. Please let me help" he says
"Why would you date someone like her and then just settle for someone like me?" I ask.
"Settle for you? Lilly believe me you are an extream upgrade from her" he says.
"So you wouldn't rather me dressed like a slut with double d's and a huge butt with blonde hair and blue eyes?" I ask
"No, babygirl I love you for the way you are and no girl I see or meet can change that. You're the sweetest and most beautiful girl on the planet and I've never looked at any other girl like that" he says
"I love you" I smile
"I love you too"