Kellin Quinn Imagines

Will You Smile For Me?

"Arent you excited AT ALL (Y/N)!?!" Your best friend asks.
You nod "Yeah, I am!"
She sighs "Well you could SHOW IT!!! We're going to meet YOUR FAVORITE BAND for fucks sake, you should be fangirling like crazy!"
You shrug "I guess I dont fangirl."
She rolls her eyes and grabs your arm, pulling you into the queue for the meet and greet. Today you and your best friend are meeting Sleeping With Sirens. Its not your average meet and greet, you dont just hug them, say hi, take a picture and leave, this meet and greet is different. You and your best friend are the only people meeting sws today, you won tickets in an online competition. You get to sit with the five guys who saved your life and talk to them for almost an hour. You are infact over the moon, but you dont smile. You havent smiled in so long. Since...that night. You shake your head, not wanting to think about that right now. Except you cant NOT think about it, the thought haunts you every day. Your best friend knows this, she's staying overly positive for you, otherwise you'd probably be breaking down every five minutes. The reason you're in a queue right now is because the guys are getting ready to meet you. Or rather security are running around trying to find the crazy bastards who are fucking with them because they can.

Eventually a security guard opens the doors and your best friend squeals before pulling you inside. There they sit. The five most beautiful and awesome men on the planet. And your biggest crush of all time sits on the furthest seat on the left, Kellin Quinn. The guys all smile and wave at you, your best friend squeals and starts jumping around, you just wave back. You both sit opposite them and your best friend starts talking to four guys at once, you have no idea how she can socialize with so many people. Kellin, however, is staring at you and smiling.
"Hey." He says simply.
You look up at him "H-Hey."
He shakes your hand "Im Kellin, its awesome to meet you...?" He raises an eyebrow.
"(Y/N), my name's (Y/N), and its awesome to meet you to." You say in a small voice as you shake his hand.
"Are you ok?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
You nod "Yeah, I just, umm...Im really shy..."
Kellin smiles "Awh, thats fine. I was surprised you didnt fangirl like your friend over there. Not surprised in a bad way, I just expected to be blown away by two squealing teenage girls. Its nice to meet a fan that acts normally around us."
You shrug "Trust me, on the inside Im acting exactly as she was. I just dont really...show it, I guess."
Kellin nods "I get that. So, is there anything you wanna ask me?"
You're thoughtful for a moment "I read the latest Rock Sound issue, which you and the guys feature in, and in it you said you felt like you didnt have a place. I was just wondering...do you still feel that way, or have things got better since then?"
Kellin smiles warmly "No, Im much better now thank you, nobody has asked me about that actually."
"Its just...I feel like that, quite a lot of the time, and I just thought it so strange that you could feel the same. Its not that I thought you were always happy or anything, nobody can be. I just never pictured you feeling as I did, like you dont fit. Im really glad you feel better now though. I actually cried a lot when I read that, because I wanted to help you, as you and the guys have helped me over the years, but I couldnt. And that hurt, knowing that I was helpless. Thank you for that, by the way, for saving me so many times."
Kellins smile widens "Things will get better, I promise you, they did for me, and they will for you. Thank you so much for being so caring, it really means a lot. And dont cry, you arent helpless, Im pretty sure I've seen your tweets and instagram posts that you've tagged me in, you appear in my feed on a regular basis. " He winks "And you're welcome, Im glad we saved you." Kellin looks at you quizzically and tilts his head "Why dont you smile?"
"I-I do!" You lie.
Kellin shakes his head "No, throughout this entire meeting you havent smile at all, why is that?"
You start shaking. "I-I uh..."
"Are you ok?" Kellin asks.
You stand up "I just...I um...I need some air!" You say before running out of the room.

You lean against a tree, taking several deep breaths. Eventually you stop shaking and start breathing normally. He noticed. Him of all people. And he cared enough to question it. That ALMOST brings a smile to your face. ALMOST.
"(Y/N)?" Someone asks from behind you, making you jump.
"Yeah?" You turn around to see none other than Kellin Quinn.
"Whats wrong? You can tell me, I wont tell anyone, I promise." He looks at you with big eyes.
You shake your head and turn away "Its nothing, honest."
Kellin raises an eyebrow "Its hardly nothing if it makes you almost have a panic attack just by thinking about it."
You sigh, there's no getting out of this now. "About three months ago I came home from work, happy as usual, smiling away. Nobody was home, which was weird. Usually my mom would be there, waiting for me, to ask about my boyfriend at the time. But, she wasnt there. I looked around and found no note from her or anything, I started to panic. I went out to the garage and...I found her. She...she commit suicide. After that I had a mental breakdown, tried to commit suicide myself. My boyfriend found out, called me a suicidal freak, and left me. We havent spoken since. And, since that day, I havent smiled. Nothing makes me smile anymore, nothing can. I've got this constant shadow, like my own personal rain cloud that follows me wherever I go. And to be completely honest it fucking sucks."
Kellin suddenly pulls you into an unexpected hug "Holy shit (Y/N), Im so sorry! That asshole wasnt worth your time, I ought to track him down and break his goddamn face for being such a dick. Can I ask, why did your mom commit suicide?" He asks in a quiet voice, knowing its a sensitive subject.
"She was depressed, she was on antidepressants, I guess they werent working. Sometimes I'd come home and she'd be crying hysterically, rocking herself backwards and forwards, almost pulling her hair out. She complained about these voices she kept hearing, telling her she was worthless. I never heard them, until after she commit suicide. Now they never leave me alone."
Kellin rubs circles in your back "Im so sorry, I really am. Im going to make it my mission now, to make you smile." He pulls away from you and winks.
You raise an eyebrow "I doubt you'll complete your mission!"
Kellin laughs "We'll see!" He leans in, wrapping his arms around your waist. His lips brush yours, only for a second. And suddenly, you're smiling. Kellin smiles widely at you and starts kissing your face all over, making you giggle like crazy. "You have the most beautiful smile in the world (Y/N)!"
You smile widely "And right now it only exists because of you, thank you so much."
Kellin winks "No, thank you for telling me everything, it shows you trust me and that means a lot to me."
You wink back at him "Of course I trust you, you're my band crush!"
Kellin raises an eyebrow "Really?"
You roll your eyes "Duh! Im inlove with you man!"
Kellin laughs and kisses you again "I guess its ok for me to admit this then: Im inlove with you too." And, just like that, your dark cloud stops following you, the voices in your head finally shut up, the clouds part and sun rays shine on you, and you've never felt more alive.