The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 9. How can you pay such a debt? The debt that someone saved your life?

I finally got home. And my limbs, ashamed and regretful, entered through the door with one last glance to Gaston.

The squinting sound of the doors closing forced my mother to appear with purple circles hovering under her tormented eyes imprinted on a perilled facade.

My heart had been lied to because before this I never knew what ache truly resembled like, and it seems as if my mother also discovered it too.

My eyes, like hers, imitated her misery and my feet sprinted indecorously, and undeservingly, at her bright, graceful arms...comforts I never should have left.

Her warm arms opened to my omen: the sweetness, the kindness contained within them only accentuated my misery and how cruelly my actions were. Her lips, with no other logic than the overwhelming sensation, kissed my icy head as her distressed sight placed directly above mine and held my sorrows as they overflowed with tears.

"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry! I never should have ran away I dont know what I was thinking mom I am so sorry, i was a fool and endangered my life on some petty issues, I know I was wrong punish me, keep me locked up I'll do anything just please do not let me go". My lips mumbled through their gritted emotion: cursing myself and encouraging my mother for some deserved punishment.

"Honey...." Her lips echoed, kissing my sins as they caressed my grief "My beautiful sweet girl...What were you thinking?! Leaving this house at 5 and entering it at 12 on the next day?" The pain ached more, for she was screaming: not in anger but in fear...I held her closer to my chest and grasped her scent as firmly as I could.

"I ran and went into the woods" I commenced, her hand, soft and generous, wiped away the fallen tears: "I was a fool mama, I went into the woods without a second thought and in a moment or so, I became lost. I needed some peace mama, I urged it....But I was a fool and I never realised the pain I could have evoked if my life had been lost...." Words trailed away from my lips: my chest, pounding harder, only grasped her ache and kissed it with my tared lips. "I don't know what happened or who got me out, but the lesson, cruel and cold, was learned. I had no idea what I was doing no control over my body or my emotions. But if it weren't for them, for him..." My eyes, as easily as my heart, drifted off: thinking that the actual soul my mind desired to see would be one I, at least, had never seen. "I don't know in what situation I would be now... With that said, I understand every punishment" I concluded; her lips, slightly curved, opened her eyes with hope impregnated in them.

"You need to promise you will never do that again" she forced I nodded with melted droplets still collapsing; tears rolled down her beautiful face, rage invisible to her, she simply hoped I would come home again.

Cold glimpses of crystallised water slowly scrolled down each of our cheeks: hers white and porcelain-like, whilst mine blushed and warm. I had kept the blankets and hoodies either Andrew or Spencer had given me, and i knew if it weren't for them...

And is i had just spoke about them a tall woman, with two huge purple circles under her eyes, came out of my kitchen. I froze and looked at my mother. It was Mrs Debroch. The mother of Spencer.

"Hi Ale...." She begun "I know you don't know me but i hope it's okay I'm here. I came to tell your mother were you were, she was..."

"I know" I interrupted. I hurted too much to say it. I couldn't. At least not for now.

"I'm really sorry" I begun "I didn't mean to-"

"We know" she replied and slowly graced her hand upon my shoulder. "You seem like a good girl, a hurt one but good. It's okay to be hurt and-"