The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 62. There's always something left to say.

I arrived home in a terrible state and threw myself at my mothers arms. Hugged her until exhaustion and went up into my room where I dramatically threw myself into my bed and allowed the tears to expand over the pink cushions. She held me tight under her wing, caressed the top of her head and even though my darling mother was beyond confused, worried and empathetic for her daughter's actual and truthful heartbroken; I covered myself with the bed sheets and entered a state where my puffy eyes with reddish veins were unaware if I was still awake or in a dream.

The sun had already sunk and darkness was all that was visible. Moon hidden beneath the cotton clouds, my only friend was the dress light I had remained on, the sadness, the crying...

the idiotic adoration.

The TV screen's light was still on and the Friends episode was still playing judging by the voices talking and the background laughters. I cuddled myself and grabbed my legs, noticing my hands were still freezing and my eyes were still twice their regular size. The bell rang but my eyes wouldn't open and my muscles wouldn't forgive me if I woke them up and so I stayed lying down.

"Oh hi" Sylvie's sweet voice squeaked. "What are you doing here? Oh and please come in"

"Who is chipmunk?" Peter said. 

I knew something was off. 

"Its Spencer. The new-um-Ale's-. Nevermind." She concluded. I had forgotten Peter was here, lately he is here 24/7 and I really like him despite his 'romantic attitudes' as all these two lovebirds do is make pranks on each other and kiss as a sign of forgiveness. Footsteps were heard each time closer to me.

"Hi. I was just checking that Ale was okay. Is she?" Spencer's melodic voice sang. I could feel the tremble in his tone and the peril in his words.

"Yeah she is upstairs- you can go." She cleared the path.

"Thank you" He said as he jumped the stairs two at a time, the footsteps getting louder and closer to me.

I froze. Remained in the same position I was and pressed my lips and my eyes. I could feel the rush of blood in my heart, the faster it got the closer he was to me.

"Oh. You're asleep, somehow that is how I always find you" He began, his voice was all I needed, silky and tender. "I am sorry and I don't know if you are even listening but I just needed to see that you were okay" His hand instantly began to caress my forehead and rearrange my messy hairs. It was warm and lovely, just as I remembered... My nose wrinkled and he gave a small chuckle. He begun to cover my whole body with a blanket as he continued to speak

"I know I shouldn't be here, and every time you are with me, something happens to you or I end up hurting you. I am sorry... Truly. But you were never another one, since the moment I met you I knew you could never be another. I've met hundreds of girls in my life, from different nations, faces and beliefs. Read and watched, and I know you will tease me about this, lots of Romantic comedies in the hopes of finding what I've been looking for. But not a single one can compare themselves to you. It's you and I'm afraid that it will always be you before even you or I could get a chance at deciding that. 

I fucked up like I always have. I screwed up ad lost you. I wish I was as strong as you to ignore and let you go. But I've been taunted by heaven like beauty and attitudes; I do not wish to forget. I'm not letting you go, and you and I both know that what we have is unique. I know it scared you, when I saved you, it also scared me. But you can't keep slipping away from me, running from forest to forest, frightened another soul will fragment your heart. Soon you'll run out of forests! I've never wanted someone in my whole life, and then I meet you. You can fool your mind, but you can never fool your heart." His hand instantly reached my hand and the electricity flowed again like an endless river. He touched my face, and continued to caress it with his gentle touch. His lips were soon kissing my forehead and I could feel his oxygen slip away from me.

"Goodbye," He spoke. And then, he disappeared into the depths of the dark and the emptiness of the night sky sounds.