The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 67. Drunkies are a synonym for disaster

Ever since I met him, my life has become a shred of wool, tangled amongst its own mysteries and awaiting for the endless knots to be released. However, he cannot take as much credit, my life was already a mess, now it was just... seen by me.

My hands played with each other as I stepped inside James' car, a radiant dark colored jeep perfectly washed. He obviously assumed I would get inside but my feet stopped parallel to his vehicle.... and my cold fingertips knocked on his window.

"Hey" He said "Ready to go?" He politely asked, now, everything was so much harder. The ardour I felt for Spencer was only another reason I should go and hug him, but the burnt he gave was worse than his heat, and my heart would be protected from his untrustrostworthy lava.

I stood still, holding my backpack and bouncing it around....

"Yeah, it's just that is it possible we could go straight to Jane's house? Because I promised I would help her with the arrangements. I am sorry!" I said, ashamed of my life.

"Yeah okay, we'll grab some food there" He said kindly. I smiled at him and hopped in the inside cushion of his car.

"That hungry huh?" I asked

"You know me, always!" He said happily, and I begun to laugh.

"Like music?" He inquired

"Oh yeah! Besides this is your car, you can put whatever you'd like" I said kindly

"So, ready to go to a party?" My hands began to fidget themselves and my heartbeat raced, he looked at me and those ocean eyes were irrefusable.

"Sure" I finally responded and like the word vomit, the word escaped from my lips effortlessly. Yet the burning and tightening of my stomach, proved my heart otherwise as it was deadly silenced on the misconduct.

However, white porcelanose lights curtained above me, as the clear open sky from today's daylight seemed to be slowly creeping up on a storm as the cotton clouds menaced the shining stars. 

The moon was about to set, rising from the hills as it crowned itself the brightest of them all; red in colour with an orange penumbra and vast in space. My heart still pounded, but not with emotion and thrill as my heart was accustomed, it dragged the beats for more time, lowering and lowering the symphony of my soul; clenching with the blood red colour it owed to the beats it could create; it now had the same drumming melody played as they are about to be silenced. The ache it provided and the lasting tattoo; scorched by the burn Spencer had given me were only there to provide more useless pain.

He left me

He lied

He ran away.... Just like once upon a time I did.

I hopped inside and quickly buckled up my seatbelt, pressed my lips and thighs together and looked outside the crystal separating me from the night sky.

"How was your match?" I finally asked, trying to relieve some of the pressure and stress my tired body had dealt with. My mouth urged to be kept silenced, but neither of this was James' fault; he had nothing to do with the deadly sin my heart had become to cherish. I ran away.

My mouth opened itself, answering the question and putting in my drawer my heart, the illusions of my imagination with him as well as the gnawing memories.

"It was very cool, we won despite the team's lack of spirit of us without Spencer, but we won" He said happily, my heart cracked, but just a little bit. Everyone seemed down when he was gone, just look at his team; they were also spiritless. Me on the other hand, I was heartless. I smiled as he continued to praise his sport, believing idiotically that my attention was with him. "Everything was going good but soon things just stopped, like I mean, my mind was somewhere else but I stayed in the football field. So weird"