The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 22. When do you know the war has begun?

"Darling! Get up! You're late!" The resilient roar of a deafened resonance awoke me: the drawing of my lips being swiftly removed by the speakers' hands. Hands which then forced the covers out of my body. My eyes, suddenly illuminated by a sliding splendour of the sun's heat, coiled and resented the glimmer: they read the words 7:21 and the radius of my pupils extended and coiled with brute strength.

Unable to comprehend the deafning booming that came inside my head.

The sweetness of the voice howled in desperation again, throbbing around my body that, as a reaction, were suddenly rushing into the dressing room and lifting off my clothes as they were thrown and scattered in the wooden floor of my bedroom. Without recognition to what I was wearing, my legs sprinted through the stairs, with an occasional stumble, and reached the kitchen where a green smoothie, and a mother's kiss, awaited me next to a granola bar.

I grabbed it all. I was a maniac student who could not afford another late detention.

As I entered the car, an astounded grin decorated my sister.

My theories were also confirmed, i looked like shit.

The car, after scolding me with a roar, pierced its wheels onto the pavement. It was another maniac screeching across the streets hoping to avoid being late.

We arrived at school on an unreasonable edge: just in time to be properly humiliated and notified by the teacher that we were late.

"Sorry sir" I commenced as he, as any responsible authority figure did, used my arrival as an example of what should not be done. Quite bitchily might i add. I excused my action simply as a side effect of sleeping and the comforts that such meant. I found him guilty as well of exploring the pleasures of dreaming.

Ha! Pleasures my ass. These had been replaced by torment, agony and two purple circles tattooed under my eyeballs.

"Hey ale" Irene, the sweet girl greeted me with a smile I found more than delight in seeing; she also notified me of the state my hair was, not as appalling as I expected.

"Thank goodness you're here!" Jane, in her usual exhilaration hugged me from behind, I held my extended arms up to her "Are you ill? You look ill."

I smiled at her aggravated worry and soothed by laughing and embracing her in a hug.

"Not yet..." she slapped my head slightly. "I couldn't sleep. I simply couldn't"

She stared into my eyes and frowned. I had to look away, Jane was a peril to my mask. I could see what she was thinking: what is wrong with her? She never comes to school like that, is everything okay in home? I wanted to answer them, to finally come clean...but how would she see me if she knew the actual truth? I suppose she has heard the whispers and gossip. Her intuitive glance could ruin everything I had built...or rather un-built.

Has she heard the gossip that I had attempted to kill myself?

That I was as mad as to rip my life out with my bare hands?

I was hurt...damaged.

My heart, body and soul had been shattered into pieces that had been travelling in my blood far before Sean ripped my heart out. In a way, it was only when he did that i could finally see how broken I was truly.

But would Jane help me re-build my life?.... She would. Without hesitation. My true friend.

But now, I was too big of a burden to drag her into my mess.

I switched my thoughts, looked away and tried to return to this room.

"What about you guys? Anything interesting?" My lips commented, finally easing the burden of my book-filled backpack. As I did Ty slipped through the door: I followed him with my eyesight only to see that he covered his face from my sight. My curiousness spiked, my heartbeat echoed. I walked to him and he, aware of my concern, took the seat next to mine.