The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 71. Suprises

"Okay now seriously where are we?" I teased.

"Oh will you shush it!" He laughed "Haven't you heard of the term surprise?" He teased

"Oh no! I have. But there is a reason I am frightened of them"

"What's the backstory?" He read my mind.

"Here goes. Now I am six years old and my birthday party is Barbie. Like the theme was a barbie spa. It was lovely, I am sure you would love it too" I joked "But my mom said that it would be a surprise, and I was so happy because I wanted to feel like so special where you go into a door and everyone cheers you and congratulates you and hugs you and all of that drama. And so I waited for that day for a month. But when it came it was not a barbie spa behind that door, it was a farm with pigs and mud and chickens screaming and meat! My mom thought I had said a barbecue! Not a barbie spa! It was terrible, absolutely shocking. But it was also lovely and I adored the animals, so on the bright side I also got a mud mascara" I smiled as a giggle was released,

He began to laugh... uncontrollably. His eyes magnetised by my own and my heart clinged to his scent so close to my lungs.

"That is truly amazing," He granted

"Yeah, yeah it is...." My gaze leaned away and the memories came in.

"Your thinking" he noted

"No," I said truthfully "Just seeing my mental polaroids" and I laughed

"Please," He pleaded "I want to know"

I looked at him doubtfully. He smiled and encouraged me. He is way to stubborn

"I was remembering my...childhood." And melancholy flooded in. He wouldn't let this go, I knew his character too well, my observation side was not to be questioned. That's when I knew my explanation would begin. My hands twitched a little nervously. "I remembered a memory where I was little, in year 4 and was ill. Most of the days I was ill when I was little," I added the context, he needed to see the whole picture. The truthful picture, not the softened version of what was the Reality I had spoken of " I was sick more than little kids are supposed to be sick. 3 days of flu was the equivalent of two weeks for me " I laughed "The doctors claimed that I had a slow development immune system but that didn't keep my mom from worrying. She is always worrying too much. But that day I was so ill... My pale face and exaggeratedly long purple bags were clearly my call for help, I needed to go to the nurse. No one told me too, kept staring but never brave enough to tell me I should go. Cowards' ' I added in a small smile "but when I finally got the courage to go I saw the nurse that I disliked" I laughed at the memory "I disliked her so much that swallowed my pain and 40 degree fever and walked back to class. When I got back I asked a friend to write in my school diary a visit to the nurse, to be truthful I really don't know why I did that! Maybe hoping my mom would see? Or they would let me go early?- But when they noticed that it was my friends writing, they took my diary away. The school counsellor called my mother and I was so ashamed of me, of my non stopping illnesses that I didn't say anything." My eyes drifted into the window, the polaroids kept being flashed in the back of my eyes. The memories carefully shoved down rising like bubbles "I was so tired of being taken care of that my dislike for the nurse was more than my... pain." I laughed humorlessly "I can't even remember a time where pills weren't being shoved down my throat, or the little line under my mothers eyes when I didn't recover from the pills. My sister's hugs after the vaccines and needles that poked me. Not that I feared them, my sister is the scaredy cat" My lip downward "My closest friends, who have need with me since kindergarten like Mary truly know the whole story, and still are worried something might be wrong with me" I laughed at the thought "But I am okay now, still unsure why the treat me like a baby but now that I am truly truly okay. I want to help, I still take an annoying little pill but nothing to be noted. My fight is passed, long gone and forgotten so if I can help someone get through what I went through then I'll do it. Without hesitation."