The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 26. Just when you start to get better, they come back.

Andrew hummed in hopes of some redeemable answer; extended the period by drinking some water, and finally ended his anguish by accepting my accusations with a diverting smile.

"I just wish he were brave enough to step outside his mask and be the boy...the kind boy who took me out of my incident and showed me there was still light in a world I saw through grey." His face hardened, a grimace was painted...My conscience, aware of all the meticulous harm I could do if no corrections were made, attempted to lighten his mood:

"Now all the grey I see is in his eyes" and he laughed softly as I, taking a sip of air as he finally declared:

"Me too"

"Come on" I granted, lightening up his inked frown, he smiled at my attempts "There is a party and he might not be our friend, but you and I are. The night is young and so are we"

And with those words said, we headed into the floor that bounced our bodies as if we were in a glistering trampoline.

As quick as the thunderstorm came, it left, leaving an empty crystalized moon sky.

Shoulder on shoulder,

We lip-sang hideously

We were laughing,

Terribly dancing

Cheering and prancing...

But the enjoyment of my heart could not last for long...An intruder, who once victimised my heart into monotonousness, now walked down a path that shattered my heart.

Fighting with my eyes to keep them dry, struggling with the temptation to split apart and collapse in the ground.

A vision that damaged more than the vacancy that was left in my heart.

Ashes, crumbles, remainders of the love I used to have.

Each of his steps meant a crumbling of my heart.

Each of his new encountered smiles meant a stabber in my mind.

And each of his new, truthful, kisses meant a cigarette being put out in my veins.

Burning, agonising, drowning in pain...

And no one but myself knew how terribly I could actually love.

And despite the blinding fact that it wasn't real,

it still pains me to see the degree he suffocated me to.

He came inside and tore everything apart. 

As if i had my heart in my hand, my hand crushed it. 

I was okay,

Words so far away,

I was okay.

Until his dagger found me again.

My heart punched the brakes fiercely, my feet paused and time simply... stopped.

The beating drowned in melancholic memories.

The glistening ecstasy of the smiles had blurred into frowns, they melted away like ice.

The heat radiating the boomboxes was silenced in an icy crisp.

And the wind of sorrowful times smashed against my pale lips, leaving me soaking in ache as each crystal mesh was torn away by my hands. Whiplashing.

He was there.

Dangerously close to Haiden's face, holding hands together, interlocking their fingers closer to each other in each breath, relaxing and tightening as their muscles braced the other in perfect symphony.

The unanimous beating of their hearts.

Their noses breathing each other's air.

But the arrow that ripped my skin off my bones and exposed my red flesh was that the smile that decorated his lips, had never been as truthful.

He was there.

Lifting her up as I grasped the floor.

The poison knife struck once again.... A venom that coursed through my veins and eclipsed the light. It just seemed that once upon a time I was the one who's hair was being stroked with electricity by his touch. I was the one whose smile was dedicated to me.

I was the one who he loved.

But yet again... I was

Breathing had been something that until now I took for granted.

I clenched the acid, attempting to petrify it into place and melt it into my throat. I could not bear to speak...and yet, I was a cowardly masochistic who remained staring at memories of what could have been.

He was the one who ended things.

He was the one who gave up.

I wounded myself for believing in something unreal, because: did I truly love him?

"Excuse me?" Jane's angriness poured out in spasmodic urges of moans and throat grudgings. Her hand laid peevishly in her hip as her jaw slipped through her mouth and collapsed on the floor. The cup I had dropped with such carelessness no one even noticed. I was not the only soul petrified into place and tormented by the sight of such atrocity. My body was as frozen as possibly alive, the only movement occurring was the insidious thumping of a forced heart.

Everything I saw was as rushed that it became slow; Jane's neck coiling with outrage and landing on my body, Mary's laughter vanishing the sight as Louise and Olive, compelled by such gloominess, stared into the eyes of the person who walked through the glass door and shattered me in the process.

All in a matter of seconds: my mind staggered with anguish, my heart endured the accusations by tilting upwards and hoping, for once, that this was a dream. That for some strange reason I had finished the vodka bottle all by myself and was now in blackout.

Then it hit me, I was as sober as one could be.

He seemed perfect....And then he goes and does this to me.

The instability of my breath was nothing more than an uneven whisper, where the guttural sound squared and roared as the deflation of a balloon. Despite everything: I kept my eyes locked with the poison.

I gulped once again.

"What is going on?" Andrew, noticing the sudden despair, asked in search of some incrimination- yet his eyes could not seem to encounter the reason that was all I could see. Jane, aware of my incompetence, granted the words-

"See Haiden?" Jane, pointing her finger, responded. Andrew, nodding in accordance, replied:

"Yeah, she looks cozy. What about it?" His lips mumbled unaware of the damage it meant. Jane, sliding through him, locked herself below his arm and grasped my hand.

His confusion was still present.

"Less than a week ago the boy, who's she's making out with in such passion, was my boyfriend." I Gathered the strength to mumble those words without shedding a tear and disguising the cracking by shutting instantly my lips. "He said we were bad for each other, that he...cheated"

The knife cut once again

"Now I know who replaced me so easily-" And the words tore my veins into tissues, my mind into numbness and my heart into uselessness.

The burning words scorched my mouth. It could no longer be silenced by the coffin I had for my body: I was being carbonised by a rope i created.

The rope was never tied at me, never tied by force: I was embracing the fire with every carbonised shattered cell I had left simply because it was mine.

With no more ache left to exploit me, I surrendered to the sting.

"Excuse me" And exited through the door with the same negligence his heart had shown me.

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Hey guys! Me again. I hope your liking it! any suggestions/comments/OMG moments feel free to leave them on a comment! 

All my love, A.