The eternality in our ephemerality

Chapter 18. Sometimes things are better off untouched.

Louise and Jane, with their joyous perseverance, continued talking about the current affair every girl was entranced in: I noted a particular glee withheld by Jane's bashful side, she never granted much about her feelings, but when completely and irrevocably bewitched, she would not let go of that poor heart.... I feared that would happen with dear Gaston, not for him, as what I can suppose he would rarely be attached, but for her and the strong attraction she could easily endure. Louise's heart is slightly deeper: she, like I, rarely fell for someone and crossed the line of indecorum. Her heart was guarded beneath her ribcage, perfectly placed.  

Within these few moments, my heart relaxed, and the paranoia fled my uncertain mind. I could not gain any positivity by being in such a state....maybe I do have toxic positivity.

Jane, with suppressed joy, commented her diabolic plans and greeted the news with a flagrant smile:

"Welcome back party?" My uncertain tone was now compromised by a smile of indecorum scorched in memories: the day they ran barefoot on the supermarket, placed pineapples on their heads, smacked a pie on the softness of their face... all sorts of foolishness most teenagers are delighted to admire.... I laughed.

"Let me guess... you will attempt to hunt for boys that can somewhat pass as suitors?"

"Precisely!" Her excitement escaping from childish illusions, her naivety guarded by hopeful perspirations I could only admire.

"I will certainly help in whatever you need, simply let me know what I can do and consider it fulfilled." Her lips curved with pride only to be slightly arched by my next comment "In the other matter, darling... I am definitely avoiding any frogs disguised as princes" and smiled sweetly. Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes fell, with atrocity painted in them, on mine.

"You won't leave me" She ordered with tyrannical strength.

"I won't. I will support your hunt; I'll carry the cheese plate if you wish: you'll never be hungry" 

Louise laughed. 

"Oh Jane!" Louise exhilarated "Leave poor Ale alone; we will all help your search, but her heart has just been crushed... and she does not fall deeply with regularity"

"I do love deeply!" I commented with an appalled grim scattered across my pale lips "I love everyone, every unique and unstable part. But...I simply have not found the right soul to love unequivocally"

"We are going on a hunt." She command reinforced...my smile obliged. "Ale, boys fall hard for you, no boogie cliché, I mean happy ever after, Jane-Austen- book-love- hard" she slammed the table and giggled "Or whatever it is that you read. He was a fool and so are you if don't get up on your feet! I, Mary, Louise and I suppose the whole volleyball squad will support you too." She said, slowly coaxing me into her adventure. I pressed my lips in a tiny shy smile.

"Your smile is contagious" She finalised and a small chuckle emerged.

"Well, I've only had one romantic encounter. And to be truthful, I doubt that even one counts: a true, genuine first love kiss is still a mystery to me, love as it is is a complete foreigner to my heart. I've seen it, disguised it in my eyesight even so but felt it? Ha! There must be affection from both parts" I reminded her softly, hiding my thundering stab in a cheeky tone.

But my eyes could still reveal the truth, and so I looked harder into hers.

"Ugh," She huffed. Throwing herself at the chair with her eyes fixed on the notebook and arms tight. "Well I'm not going to give up. You've always been there for me, smiling and chanting and encouraging, well dear, It's payback time"