[an: this chapter is pretty graphic and gory but it's Minho telling Jisung his trauma so if you're sensitive with death, murder, and gory contact I wouldn't recommend reading this chapter.]
Minho sat next to Jisung on the couch and smiled, "will you promise to stop crying if I tell you?"
The doctor quickly nodded in response, "yes."
Minho cleared his throat, "well.... For starters my real name is Lee Minho and I'm an orphan or was? I don't know what age you stop being an orphan but that's how it started out. I had to steal for not only myself but for some other kids I grew up with because the orphanage was really stingy about where our funds went. They would serve us like one or two meals a day and expected us to get by on just that. There were a lot of kids that were malnourished and I felt so bad when they came crying to me about being hungry. I would give them my meals and obviously I was hungry too so I started off by pickpocketing people. It was really easy and it was a lot better than just stealing at a store but I ended up stealing from the wrong person one day. I was walking back to the orphanage when our caretaker slapped me across the face and told me that there some men looking for me and that I had to make things right. I tried denying what happened but that's when the caretaker threatened to take our two meals away and that made me really angry."
Jisung bit his lips as he listened but he saw tears growing in the others eyes.
"I was really angry about that so I shoved him against the wall and my hands just wrapped around his neck. I can't exactly remember what happened but I remember running away because the other caretakers started yelling at me. It was raining outside so I was force to find shelter because I was drenched. But as I stood underneath some random building I got pulled from behind and the man I pickpocketed from held a knife to my throat. I know this is wrong but at the moment I was really thankful. I was happy that I was going to be put out of my misery and I closed my eyes as I waited for him to slice my neck but he shoved me to the side instead. He was angry at the fact that I gave up and he ended up taking me in after I told him why I stole from him."
The doctor stared straight at Minho and started wiping the tears that rolled down Minhos face.
"He wasn't a father figure but he helped me out when I needed it. After a few days he took me to some underground brothel and handed me a gun and told me that I needed to shoot one of the girls that stole from him. The girl begged me not to and he kicked her side to keep her from crying or looking at us in the eyes. I told him that I couldn't and then he put the gun next to her head and said if I didn't kill her myself then he would throw her off the rooftop. It was hard but I didn't think falling from the rooftop would be a better way to die so I grabbed the gun back and I killed her. For a while after that it was hard to feel sympathetic for myself whenever he gave me another task. I knew that taking me in wasn't free but having me kill people for his benefit pissed me off so I killed him after two years of working for him. Since I was the one that killed him that meant I had to take responsibility for his death. I had to take on his role and it's the main reason why I'm stuck doing this. Don't get me wrong I don't find joy in killing anyone but it's not really my choice. I'm taking responsibility for what I did and one day it'll be someone else's responsibility to take over for me. It's just how it works."
Minho stared down at his lap and Jisung wrapped his arms around him, "I'm sorry you have to carry this burden. I'm really sorry."
The older chuckled, "at least something good came out of it."
Jisung froze for a second but ran a hand through his hair, "I really shouldn't be sitting here with you but I can't ignore my feelings anymore. You're the only man in my life that doesn't want to control me and I can't believe I'm saying this but you make me feel safe."
Minho closed his eyes, "Jisung. You don't have to feel obligated to stay with me or say such kind words. I'm not a person you should be praising because I'm an extremely selfish person."
The blonde nodded, "I'm not a perfect person either. You know my baggage and you've never once used it against me so why would I use this against you?"
The older tilted his head in discontent, "your baggage is nothing compared to mine. Plus you can do no wrong in my eyes and it scares me. You have no idea how much I care about you."
Jisung wrapped his hand over Minho's, "please don't leave me."
Minho froze for a second, "I'm scared you'll leave me."
The doctor shook his head, "you've given me no reason to leave. You did what you had to do to survive and I did what I wanted to do to make myself feel better. My trauma is selfish while yours is heart breaking."
Minho tightened his grip on Jisung hands, "you have no reason to degrade yourself like that. You can't blame yourself for what you did because it's not your fault. Your dad never gave you the right affection and you seeked it in another way and I'm sorry you felt that was your only option."
Jisung engulfed the older into a hug, "you can't leave me."
The older whispered , "I'll kill my self if I do."
The doctor slapped Minho's wrist, "don't talk like that."
"you're too good to me."
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Now that Minhos backstory has been revealed it's time for Jisung to face his.Stay posted everyone.
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