THE COP AND THE POP STAR

CHAPTER 6: I LOVE YOU

Alyssa's point of view:

It's been 3 months since I had that wreck.

I still feel horrible for wrecking Jordan's car.  He tells me not to think about it.

My life is still a mess.  Each day I try to just forget about ever knowing Rob. I just feel bad about myself, that I was so easily fooled.  That he lied to me so easily. How could I be so stupid? How could I give myself to him.  I was just a joke to him.

I still don't know how I'm ever going to go on any kind of talk show or sing in front of anyone. I feel like everyone is laughing at me.  I'm glad that Jordan took care of that, and pushed back all my interviews.  For a later date. He pushed back the release of our new song.  

I do my visits with kids and they make me forget about all my problems.

Jake misses Rob, but he's a happy dog.  The guys all come over and play with him. He will play with his favorite toys and balls and will play fetch with them.

Rob and Tara stepped up their mocking.  

I try and post things to my social media, for my fans.  Positive messages, just something to let them know how much they mean to me.  

But Rob and Tara find a way to see it. I think through friends of theirs, and I don't know who those friends are. But it never fails right after I post anything, then Tara posts or Rob posts and they mock me. Make fun of my post.

Tara tries to look like me. It's weird, but she cut her hair to match my hair style.  If I paint my nails and show them, then she does the same color.  If I go to eat lunch with the guys and one of them will post a picture, then she goes there to eat and posts from there. It's a little creepy.

When I said I have other problems besides Rob. I do. 

I love my fans, so much. It still amazes me that I have even one fan. I just don't see myself as having talent.

I get so much mail from them. And these last few months, those fan letters have meant everything to me. I want everyone to know I appreciate them, for listening to my music, for commenting on my posts, or for writing me.

I reply back or like every comment, and if they write me, I write them back. I never want anyone to think that I think I'm better than them. Because I'm not. I have no idea why people love my music, unless it's because I sing about my life, when I was happy with Rob, I wrote love songs, about how love changed my life.  

I get letters from all ages, the ones that come for little kids are so cute and my favorite. 

Little boys will tell me they love me and they want to marry me, but their mommy says that they have to wait until they are older to get married.

Little girls will tell me they love me and want to be just like me when they grow up.

I get fan mail from teenage girls, and a lot of them talk to me about problems in their life, being bullied, being hit by their boyfriend, cheated on. They said they are in pain, and felt alone, and my songs make them see they aren't alone.

Some girls said that they kept silent but listening to my songs gave them the courage to seek help.  That makes me feel so good.

But lately I have been getting disturbing fan mail.

The first few letters didn't really alarm me. I got this letter, and it was signed, from your biggest fan.

He didn't say his name, but he did say he was a guy. Told about how he loved me, loved my voice, I sounded like an angel, and listening to my songs, made him feel peace. He was going through depression because he just lost his mom to cancer. He was thinking of giving up and killing himself, then he turned on the radio and heard my voice for the first time, and that saved him.

It touched me, so I wrote him back, telling him I'm so sorry for his loss of his mom. I pray for comfort for him, and I hope that he seeks help and talks to friends, or counselors, or coworkers, and gave him the 1 800 number for suicide.

Then he wrote back thanking me for taking the time to write him. That he has sought help for the depression, and he is now thankful that he is alive. He said it's all because of me.

His third letter was a little bit different, as he said that he had wrote a poem for me, and it was all about love, and sex, two hearts, two bodies becoming one forever. Then he said that is going to be you and me, God has already told me that we will be together forever.

I was a little freaked out, so I called Jordan and asked him to come over as soon as he could.

Jordan came over and I showed it to him. He said not to worry about this. Told me to not write him back, and if he sends you another letter, give it to me. Jordan said that he was going to write this guy back and tell him to stop writing me. 

But that didn't stop. The letters were coming, and I was getting one every single day, Monday to Saturday. It got to the point; I dreaded getting my mail.

Thankfully from his letters I could see he was clear across the country. But in one of his letters, he said that he had 2 jobs, to work enough to save enough money to come see me. So, we could be together. 

That he loves me, and he will take care of me. I don't need to be afraid of him. He just wants to love me. To make love to me. To marry me. Have babies with me.

He told me he almost had enough money to book that flight. He didn't need to save for a return flight, since he could move in with me.

Early on when I had got that letter that freaked me out and I told Jordan, Jordan said he would have someone on his team, reach out to that post office to see if they could track who sent it, to get the guy's name. 

The letters didn't have an address on it, just your biggest fan written where the address went. But then they started coming from different post offices in that state, and there just wasn't any way to track them.

This latest letter really scared me.  Jordan assured me that he would make sure I was safe. The guys are all so busy. Each with different projects, and they travel a lot. I know Jordan wants to promise me, but I know that he can't keep me safe. Unless he's with me all the time, and he can't be. I told him that.

He said he knows but he was going to take care of it. He told me not to worry about it. He would be back.

Jordan came back and told me that everything was taken care of. Jordan had his secretary make him an appointment with the mayor. He was going to ask the mayor if there was a way for Jordan to pay for protection for me. He wanted one of the best police officers to be my bodyguard. That would shadow me and keep me safe. Be there with me all the time.

I didn't like that idea at all. I said what do you mean all the time? Like live with me then.

Jordan said yes, all the time means you will stay with them all the time. 

I asked why not just a bodyguard. But Jordan said he wants one trained, a professional, that has experience with this type of person.

Jordan went to meet with him, and Jordan said that whatever police department that the mayor thinks is best, he will donate money to. That he would prefer one that is younger, would fit in, when she makes public appearances, so that people don't assume she has a bodyguard. 

With the way the media is, if she appears in public with a man, they snap pictures and then rumors might start, Jordan didn't want to have to deal with the rumors of me with an older man. He preferred a younger cop, and if it was a woman cop that would be even better. She could pass as just a friend. 

I tried to voice my objections, but Jordan wouldn't listen. He said that he knew best, and this was the only way to go. That he didn't want to scare me, but this guy was a sick psycho and could kidnap me, I was in danger if this guy does come looking for me. He wants to make sure that I'm safe, if Jordan is out of town. I will be with a trained professional.

I said Well I just hope that he is nice. I'd prefer a woman. 

Jordan said Well if they have a woman that can do the job, then fine, but I want you safe, and I'm being a little bit of a jerk, I guess, but I think a guy can protect you better than a woman. Just because men are stronger than women. No disrespect.