THE COP AND THE POP STAR

CHAPTER 69: PROMISES

                                                                                  TOM'S VIEW

Alyssa fell asleep quickly. She's got her head on my shoulder.

I want to run my hands through her hair so badly. But I can't.

I wish I could get some peace. Turn off these thoughts in my head. But they won't stop. I don't know maybe I'm going crazy hearing voices in my head now.

I just keep thinking that this is all I want in my life.

It used to be all I wanted was my job. But now all I really want is Alyssa. This is perfection. Her head on my shoulder, watching her sleep. If only this could be every night.

But that's where I'm torturing myself with all these thoughts, voices.

Telling myself she will never want to be with me. She thinks of me as best friend only.

Then there are the voices what if she did want to be with me, and then what happened tonight happens again, and she ends things.

How do I make sure that never happens.

I mean not the girl getting in my bed. I can make sure of that, by locking my door.

But I mean girls out there wanting to either cause trouble for Alyssa, hurt her, or make a name for themselves on social media.

Jordan said the same thing, it will probably happen. I'm sure he speaks from experience in his own life, since he's a big celebrity.

I will have to have the guys with me for sure, and Judy. I know Judy will help. But I don't want Alyssa hurt. I don't want her to look at her phone and see something about me that hurts her.

How do I stop that? With Rob lying and cheating on her, she is not going to be able to trust 100 percent. And I get that.

My mom is right, the first sign of trouble, Alyssa is going to push me away, to protect herself. She is going to distance herself from me, the first time something would happen.

She already has it in her head to run when there is trouble. She runs from me, hides her feelings, goes to her room to be alone, so that I don't know she's upset. Even though I feel like I know her inside and out, and can tell when she's upset.

What if I can't get her to let me explain? What if even having Judy back me up on what happened, Alyssa gets second thoughts about getting into a romantic relationship with me.

I would do anything to get this girl to be mine forever.

But will our relationship be able to survive if we are apart, if she is touring city after city, and I'm stuck at home.

I can stop going out with the guys.  That is what I will do. 

But it just bothers me that there are people out there who have nothing else to do, then try and hurt and cause problems for someone as sweet as Alyssa. Just because they are miserable in their own life. 

Like tonight, I could have lost my chance to be with her. How can someone mess with someone's life like that.  The sad thing is I think there are more people out there who would do that.

And now that I know what I've been missing all my life, what it's like to be in love, to find that one person who totally gets you, I'm scared I'm going to lose her. And not because of something that I did, but because there are bad people with bad intentions.

I never knew true happiness, I was okay with how my life was before I met her, making my job my life, with casual girls but now that I have found Alyssa, my life will be empty without her.