THE COP AND THE POP STAR

CHAPTER 47: WHAT HAVE I DONE

                                                                                          TOM'S VIEW:

I'm pacing back and forth, what the f--- did I just do.

The image in my head is of Alyssa, tears in her eyes, I never meant to make this worse, but I did.

I hurt her. She's probably upstairs in her room crying.

How do I fix this? How could I mess this up? 3 words that is all I have to say.

I go outside and stand there.  What am I going to do?

I need help, and there isn't anyone who can help me except for Doug. He's the only one I've told about last night. I hope he has good advice.

If you would have told me months ago, I'd be going to Doug Penhall of all people for advice on women, and love, I would have said no way that is happening, yet here we are.

I called Doug. I know he's probably in class. I hope he can answer, I really need to talk to him.

No answer. I leave a voicemail. Doug, I'm sorry, I know you're in class, but I need your help. Please it's urgent call me as soon as you can.

I go back in, wishing that I could start this day over, and redo it, so that I didn't mess up.

I am hoping that Alyssa is downstairs on the couch, and maybe I can fix this, but no she's not.

She's probably still up in her room crying.

Or she's up in her room hating me. Thinking I'm the biggest jerk she's ever met.

My phone rings. It's Doug. I go outside.

I said, "Penhall thank you for calling me."

Doug said, "you sounded desperate and upset.  I take it, it didn't go well."

I said, "no it was a disaster, I f---- it all up. Now I've probably lost her. What am I going to do. you got to tell me, give me advice."

Doug laughed.  He said, "This is pretty funny Hanson, you coming to me for advice on women."

I said, "yeah, we can laugh another time, come on Doug, I'm serious."

Doug said, "what happened."

I said, 'I was up all night last night. Reliving the whole night and trying to practice on what I would tell her."

Doug said, "Hanson I thought I told you what to tell her, that you care for her, that you didn't mean to take it that far, and while you are on this case, it's not appropriate but after the case is over, you would like it if she would be your girlfriend. Something like that."

I said, "I know that. You said I should tell her that I'm in love, that she deserves honesty and she is going to need to be able to trust me, so keeping secrets is not a good thing."

Doug said, "Right, so you told her and she didn't react the way you wanted her to. Don't panic, don't give up just because she doesn't feel the same way."

I said, "I didn't tell her that."

Doug said, "what?"

I said, "I didn't tell her. I started to, but I chickened out. I froze. She came down looking so beautiful, even more stunning this morning than ever, in a beautiful dress, and she said hi Tommy, and she blushed, and she was looking at me giving me a smile that almost brought me to my knees, made me feel weak."

Doug said, "okay so you didn't tell her, what did you say."

I said, "I don't know."

Doug said, "you don't know what you told her?"