Not for a Single Second - [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 45: Who am I without her?

What am I now? What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

Falling - Harry Styles

⚠️️Trigger Warning: Angst, Violence⚠️

Y/N's POV

June 28th, 2022

It's been a week since I cut my trip to France short and got back to New York. I could barely do anything because of how emotionally weak I felt about the whole 'being dumped by the love of my life' thing, that I even asked for a couple of days off from work.

I haven't been able to sleep at all these days. Every night I stay up, thinking on what went wrong. Was I the one who didn't make Lizzie trust me enough? Was I that oblivious to not figure out that she was playing with me? Did she ever trust me fully? Was I not enough?

I wanted to shut down all those destructive thoughts, but I just couldn't. So, I decided to do some reading on my favorite app, Wattpad. Sadly, that wasn't a really good idea because every single book in my personal library was a fanfic about Lizzie, and I didn't have the energy to read them nor look for some other type of stories.

The sun shines through the big roof window in my loft and I just groan into the universe before lazily getting out of bed, wrapping myself on a blanket and dragging my feet to the kitchen to get something to eat. I groan again looking at my empty fridge and having to settle for some Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal crumbs.

As I try to get myself comfortable on the couch, I hear my phone ringing from my room. I just ignore it and turn on the TV, hoping to find something to distract myself from the depressed state I'm in. I instantly regret my decision.

"We have a great morning here in Times Square. We have some great guests because here now we're with Marvel's very own Wanda, Elizabeth Olsen, and Indie band Milo Green's Robbie Arnett, and this morning the very talented husband and wife duo are revealing their debut picture book to the world, Hattie Harmony Worry Detective", the Good Morning America host Michael Strahan starts, and I just curse under my breath. I wanted to relax and forget about everything, and now THIS?! Is like she's stalking me so whenever I stop thinking about her, she appears to make my life miserable again. "Thank you two for coming. I love this. I love a good love connection in a good collaboration, and this is an amazing thing"

"Love connection? If you only knew what happens behind closed doors", I comment out loud while scoffing and rolling my eyes at the host's statement.

"How they came up with the book of you two, they think about superheroes, and they think about hit songs. How do you two come up with a children's book?"

"We've been wanting to write a children's book for... I don't know, I think it's been about four years of us trying to put different books out there for publishers and it was really meeting a publisher at Penguin um...Tamar, who asked if we wanted to write something in the mental health realm because she liked Robbie's writing. I don't write as much as he does. I'm more of the editor and um...yeah, he's more creative with that. And so, we both wrote a book and Robbie wrote Hattie Harmony and I wrote something else that didn't make the cut", Lizzie explains while a couple of laughs are shared between the group of hosts on the screen. She talks about this project with such joy and the biggest smile I've seen on her face, stealing smiles and glances with Robbie as well. I can't help but get angrier with the sight in front of me, but instead of doing something about it, I just continue to torture myself and keep watching the interview.