Not for a Single Second - [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 26: Missing You

Dear soulmate
Do you think of me? 'Cause I do
Do you have green eyes or are they brown like mine?
Do you have a sister too?
Dear soulmate
One day I'll give this song to you

Dear Soulmate - Laufey

Lizzie's POV

January 14th, 2022

It's been over two weeks since I last saw Y/N. It's been over two weeks since she told me she's in love with me. I haven't been able to get back to her about my decision for different reasons. Reason #1, I don't know what to tell her, and reason #2, I've been filming non-stop for my new show.

I've had absolutely no free time for myself and my personal affairs. I haven't been able to think about what Y/N wrote in that letter or how I should contact her again. And I don't think I'm going to figure it out any time soon.

I miss her so much. With Robbie away on tour and me filming in Texas, away from my home, I've been feeling so alone and hopeless. My anxiety has been unbearable to deal with and I've had to get some emergency sessions with my therapist back in LA.

I just wished I could call her so she can console me and comfort me like only she knows how to. Just the sound of her voice would be enough. That's why the two videos of Y/N singing, our texts, and the few photos we have, have been my only consolation these days. Gosh, I miss her so much. I wonder how she's doing.

Y/N's POV

So, life hasn't been great at all. Ever since I came back to New York, I've been going to every single film house to see if I can get a job but haven't been able to get anything. And it's not like I want to be a director of a big movie or something. Well, I want to eventually, but I know I'm just starting to work in the industry officially. The thing is that I can work in anything, and they still wouldn't give me a chance.

I was starting to get so fed up that every time I asked the reason why I wasn't even considered for hire, no one would give me a good justification as to why. That was until I snapped at one of the executives and, out of fear, he told me the truth.

Apparently, the asshole of Mr. Clarke didn't have enough with not paying me for my 3 months of work as his assistant and almost not letting me graduate, but he had to call all of his 'peers' and tell them that 'I'm not an easy person to work with and they shouldn't trust me either, because the moment I get what I want, I'll betray them'.

He was the one who fired me, what did I do to him?

So now, I'm officially out of places to work at. The guy I snapped at was the last CEO of the last film house in New York. I could try to go to LA or maybe go back to Toronto, there's film houses there but, I really don't want to right now.

I'm tired and desperate. I really wanted to find something here, this is my home. I also have to find a job soon, otherwise, I'll have to go back to serving tables. I...I really don't know what to do. And that's not my only problem.

I haven't talked to Lizzie ever since that...day. I...I don't know what she's thinking about, I don't know how she's feeling, I don't know if she read my letter. I don't know anything and it's driving me crazy.

The urge to buy a plane ticket and go to LA to see her wanders my mind every time I think of her, dream about her or see our pictures together. It's becoming really difficult to move on not knowing her response to what I told her and, I'm not feeling like myself anymore.

Right now, I'm at the old club I used to work at, just avoiding going back to my apartment to gloat. Being around people, even though they don't know me, is better than being all alone with my feelings, memories, and thoughts.