Pitch Perfect Harmony

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Travis was still thinking about how to help Taylor. She fell asleep in his arms a while ago and he knew that his practice tomorrow would force him to leave her side. But the way she was holding onto him even in her sleep told him that he couldn't just go. It would break his heart to hurt her like that. So he took his phone and opened the chat with his coach. "I can't be there tomorrow. It's probably just food poisoning but I have to call in sick", he wrote. It felt bad to lie but he considered this to be an emergency. So he sent the message and then put the phone back.

The next morning, he woke up feeling Taylor leave the bed. "Are you okay?", he asked tiredly. She tried to smile at him before walking up to what she correctly assumed to be an on-suite. He understood and waited for her to come back. She immediately cuddled up to him again. Travis hugged her. "Can I kiss you?", he asked carefully. Taylor looked up meeting his eyes for the first time today. She nodded a little melting into his soft kiss instantly. "I love you. I don't know what's going on in your pretty head but I will wait until you're ready to tell me", he told her. "Whups, sorry", Andrea walked in right at that moment. Travis smiled at her. "I just didn't know: Do you have practice today? Cause it's pretty late already", she said. Taylor intuitively took his hand under the blanket. She didn't want him to leave. His proximity was all that made her think she could be okay soon. "Tomorrow", he just said. "Ah. Guess I mixed something up. Breakfast is ready by the way", Andrea said. "Thank you! You don't need to do that", he told her immediately. "I'm glad I can do something", she answered before leaving them alone again.

"Would you want to get up to eat?", he asked Taylor. She nodded, so they got up. He watched her looking for something in her bag and decided to give her one of his pullovers. She happily took it. It looked huge on her which made him smile. "You're cute", he told her kissing her forehead and taking her hand to bring her to the kitchen. She looked around taking in his new place. It still felt like a lot but he never let go of her hand and for some reason that made it very possible to handle it. "I'll show you around soon, hm? As soon as you want me to", he smiled sitting down next to her.

When they got back to bed later, Taylor finally could hear some of her own thoughts clearly again. It wasn't a mess of screams in her head anymore. She even was able to control some of her thoughts for the first time in a while. Cross some out and concentrate more in others. Travis was on his phone while Taylor tried to formulate a sentence to say. He texted Andrea that he had called in sick for practice and didn't just have a day off. Just so she wouldn't say anything wrong or read something somewhere. "Does she know?", Andrea texted back from his living room. "No. I'll tell her when she's better", he answered. "Trav", Taylor mumbled making him drop the phone immediately. His eyes were full of anticipation but it took her another while. "Take your time", he whispered hugging her. "I love you", she finally got out. "I love you too", he answered happy to hear her voice again. "And I'm so sorry for all of this. I don't know why this is happening", she said when they looked at each other again. "Don't be sorry. It's okay, I promise. I'm sure it will go over", he told her. "I didn't want to ignore you the whole time, I just...I couldn't", she told him embarrassed. "I got really worried", he admitted. "I... I tried, I wanted to answer you. It was just... like I couldn't think of any words", she tried to explain helplessly. She doubted that he would understand what she meant. "If you tried... that's everything you could do", he thought out loud even though it still hurt. "I did, I swear", she repeated. "I'm sorry, I'm so complicated", she added silently. That's why she ultimately had stopped texting him. She felt like a failure. "Hey, if you say, you tried, I believe you", he assured her pulling her close again.

"I don't know what's wrong with me", Taylor suddenly started crying. Tears streaming down her face and trembling, he pressed her even closer against his chest. "Nothing, Tay. You came home from an incredibly challenging tour and you played a show that gave you nightmares and a panick attack not long ago. It's absolutely okay to not be okay. It's okay for you to need time to process all that", he told her holding her head against his chest. "I think I got scared of your new house and the security conversation too", she added silently. "Oh, Tay. It was bad timing for me to move", he sighed. "But I'm very sure that we will both be okay after this security thing. It won't be fun and maybe I need some time to process that information but I know you can talk me through that just like I try to do it for you right now. You have lived like this for years and even if you're not the life of the party right now, I know you can be happy despite all that. So, I can be too. And I want to be. I want to be happy with you", he tried to be positive but also honest.

"I live like that because I don't have a choice. You very much have the choice", Taylor argued after a moment. "You do too. You could decide to stop publishing anything at all and in a few years, this would all calm down around you", he said making her even more anxious. Did he want her to end her career? Was he thinking the exact same thing Joe had been thinking? Travis continued to talk: "But you don't want that. You decided to make music and tour and all that. You decided to put up with all the shit you get because you love what you do. And I decided to do the same but because I want to be with you. We both have a decision to make here and I think we both made that decision already." Taylor was stunned. That was his perspective? He loved her enough to put up with all the bullshit the same way she loved her music enough to do it? She knew that his love must be big then and it inevitably made her feel all warm and tingly inside. "How are you so good with words?", she asked looking at him again. He caressed her red cheeks smiling softly at her. "You are better, you know that", he said.

Reputation with a new outfit? No🐍
Who's still clowning? Me🤡