𝗧𝗔𝗠𝗦𝗬𝗡 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗔 𝗖𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗔𝗠
𝟤𝟤
𝗠𝗢𝗡. 𝗙𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝟴𝘁𝗵,𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮
𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗠𝗘𝗧, 𝗧𝗘𝗫𝗔𝗦; 𝖣𝖱. 𝖹𝖮𝖨𝖤 𝖩𝖤𝖭𝖪𝖨𝖭𝖲, 𝖯𝖧𝖣 𝖮𝖥𝖥𝖨𝖢𝖤; 𝟷:𝟷𝟸𝙿𝙼
𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘚𝘛𝘖𝘙𝘠
"When exactly did you start to feel like your mother was a bad mother?" Zoie sat across from both Tamsyn and Maniah. Tension thick like usual in the room.
Maniah turned to face Tamsyn, which who sat on the opposite end of the long couch from her. She patiently waited for her response, eager to hear where she went wrong with her.
Tamsyn shifted around, her discomfort becoming visible. She hated expressing herself. She could never articulate herself and hated feeling vulnerable. It made her feel weak and helpless.
Tamsyn glanced over to her mother for a moment before focusing her gaze on the therapist in front of them "When I was 12 and my dad went to jail for a year. She would stay out all night until the mornings, leaving me home alone with no one there with me. Sometimes she used to stay away from home for a few days and I wouldn't have food to eat. She always took care of me don't get me wrong, but when my dad went to jail and she neglected me in his absence, that started my dislike on her."
"Another time is when I got bullied and jumped at school one day. The girls used to pick on me all the time for wearing cute clothes and having long hair. One of the girls cut my hair and I cried because I wasn't always so mean and hard. I was a sweetheart and I didn't like violence so I did what I always did and cried. The girls ended up jumping me because I cried instead of fighting them— they basically picked a fight with me. Then when Maniah found out and came up to the school, she embarrassed the both of us by trying to fight the whole administration in the office and the little girls and got me put out of school."
"Afterwards, she had us and a few of my aunts sit outside the school and we followed the little girls home and she made me fight every single last one of them one on one. i wasn't a fighter and she knew that but she made me embarrass myself anyways. I got my ass beat a few rounds but she made me fight and fight and fight until I whooped every single last one of those girls. I hated her for that because I didn't want to do that. I just wanted to be comforted."
"How old were you when this occurred?" Zoie questioned.
"I was 12. My dad was still in jail when all of this happened"
"What exactly out of that scenario did you feel was bad mothering?"
Tamsyn tapped her hands on the arm of the couch while nervously moving her left foot from side to side "Her reaction. Her ignoring my needs and wants. She ignored how I felt and reacted and handled the situation poorly. She could've been more calming to the folks in the school and at least tried to cooperate and talk with them instead of cursing them out because I got my hair cut. She didn't even console me when she first saw me. She saw how botched my hair was and immediately started going off on the girls and the staff. Then after the whole chaos in the office, she forced me to fight those girls. I didn't want to do that. I just wanted a hug or something. I was already overwhelmed about my hair."
Zoie looked over to Maniah "And how do you feel about her feelings?"
Maniah looked everywhere but at Zoie and Tamsyn "I understand how she feels. I could have handled that situation way better than I did. I was a young mother who was used to fighting when bitches used to pick on me. So I did what I knew best at the time. I knew me and her father was raising her to be a spoiled brat, but I got tired of the bullying. She was soft. She was a people pleaser and she was used to her daddy handling any of her problems. Being that he was incarcerated at the time, I wanted her to handle them herself. I pushed her into learning how to defend herself because her daddy wasn't going to always be there to comfort her when she got bullied."
