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153

<<anxious>>

[A bit later in the evening; still confused.]

"I'd like to introduce you to someone else either", Shawn smiles at me.

I reply his smile a bit backyarded. I'm still thinking about what I've heard o the women's toilet, but I can't seem to find the right moment to talk to Shawn about it. It's not that easy to find a space to talk either way – we can't be too obvious, so therefore we can't be walking around the whole evening together.
I just wish I'd have someone to talk about all of this. – Aaliyah, is my first thought. Then, I remember that I can't ask her about it. I really can't.

Meeting Andrew could be my chance to hear the truth. Somehow. I can't just ask directly wether he told Shawn to lie all the time to me, right? Or can I?  Should I?

"Hey, Andrew", Shawn says, and the man in the black suit with the red tie is smiling. "Hey you two!"

"May I introduce you to Mandy Riverdale?"

"Mandy! Hi! I'm Andrew! – How are you? It's so nice to meet you finally! I wished for a long time to meet you!"

Gosh. He's acting so nice.
My voice's a bit raspy, but nobody seems to recognize it. "Hi, Andrew. It's nice to meet you, too. How are you?"

"Fine, thank's." He makes a gesture around the room to the partying people. "Great party, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Totally. Really."

Shawn's looking at me for a second with a thoughtful expression on his face. So he did hear that my voice's a bit shaky. He sees that I'm struggeling with something.

Andrew doesn't recognize anything. "I have to say that your songwriting is extremely impressive. I couldn't believe how good it is actually. Shawn's new songs all seem so inspired."

"Should I be offended?", Shawn says but he's grinning.

Andrew twinkles. "Not at all. They just have something fresh and interesting."

"Still a bit offending", Shawn says but he grins.

I can't grin either.

"Well, Mandy, I hope, you'll write alot more songs – how's university doing? I've heard you're studying music business now?"

"It's great, doing amazing, I'm totally, uh", I realize, that my british accent is coming through, stronger than ever. I didn't recognize in the past that my accent gets more if I'm stressed, but now, I do. Cause I am. "I'm totally happy with that choice of studies actually. It's great to know that what you do is because you chose to do so. And you know exactly what's your motivation."

"That's so good to hear", Andrew's showing some more teeth, smiling.

I still can't smile back so I just nod.

Apparently, Shawn's thinking my strange behaviour could've something to do with Amy being here on this party. "Mandy, would you mind, if I talked to Andrew for a moment under four eyes?" He's looking at me questioning.

I've got a bitter taste in my mouth, but I nod.

"Really? Now?" Andrew's frowning irritaded.

"It's important. We need to talk for a moment", Shawn repeats.

Andrew shrugs, gives me another smile. "It was so nice to meet you, Mandy. Hope to see you soon again. Know that you're always welcome in the Toronto Studios. Feel free to stopp by and do music whenever you want to. "

He follows Shawn to the door.

I see them leaving the party-room, and I still couldn't clarify the whole did-he-lie-to-me-question. I don't know what to do.
My gaze wanders over the people in the room. In a corner, near the bar, I can detect some groups of women chattering. Have they been the ones talking in the toilets room? How the heck should I find out who has been there?! – And even if I would find out – nobody knows that I'm Shawn Mendes new girlfriend, so I literally can't walk over to anybody ask them questions about – well – me.
In the mid of the crowd, I see Aaliyah dancing with Jordan. They both look so happy. I wish I could feel that happy again too.

Earlier, I thought the solution to my whirling thoughts would be to just talk to Shawn – if not here on the party then just when we're at home. Or I could directly speak with Andrew.

I should communicate.

Do what is reasonable.

But suddenly, I feel an incredible fear of being lied to.

I'm so afraid that Shawn's going to lie to me.