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The music's still being loud as before but I experience the whole party kinda cushioned. Actually, I'm thinking about leaving right now. But I don't know if that is the right way to handle this whole situation. I don't want to be the hysteric girl that everybody's rolling his eyes about, because she's acting so annoying.
I guess, I just don't know, if what I've heard on the women's toilet is true. If it's true, then I would like to be everywhere else than here. If it's not true then I should talk to Shawn either way.
But if it's only half-true – if Shawn used me somehow for his music-career but fell somehow also in love with me, then I really don't know, how to handle this.

"Hey, there you are! I'd like to introduce you to someone!", Shawn's suddenly right next to me, smiling brightly. He scans our environment - the party's still partying, and then he puts his arm around my waist in a very casual way. Like we're good friends catchin' up. But we're more, and for a second, I am distracted by his thumb making little movements on the bare skin that my dress left out. It's crazy what an effect he has on my body.
"So, I want you to meet someone, and I think, you're gonna be in awe." Shawn's bringing some distance between us, letting go of my waist, to look me in the eyes. "At least, I hope so."

So, obviously Aaliyah didn't find him to tell him about Amy being here, on the party.

"I'm already in awe", I say without showing all the emotions that are going on inside me right now. It's a whirlwind, a rollercoaster.
I don't know what to think.
I don't know what to feel.

"Are you okay?" Shawn seems to have recognized that my mood changed drastically since we've entered the party. I scan his face, his outfit, his whole body. His caramel brown eyes stare at me a little bit concerned and wondering. A little curl has fallen into his face and his cheeks are reddened a bit. Would he lie to me? Is it possible that he's been lying all along?
When we kissed, when we talked, when he told me he was in love with me – is it possible that all of this has been a lie?
I don't even want to ask myself this question. I really don't want to.

"Hello-o, are you okay?" Shawn repeats his question now looking deeply worried. The music is loud and lot's of people are looking at us. Most of them not hiding their curiousity and their always existing hope of seeing a scandal or at least a bit of one.
"You'd rather wanna go outside?" Shawn looks at me. "It's really warm here – maybe you need some fresh air?"
He's in a good mood, and I'm asking myself, if he's aware of the fact that people inside and outside this party are talking about him just using me.

Did he use me?
Does he still use me?

Is this what Amy was gonna say? That she knew it? It would be very her to let me figure it out myself. She must've known that I would meet some people that know the truth about Shawn's intentions on me. On us.
But Amy's either very good in manipulation. It's possible that this all is just a coincidence.
Some, a bit drunk, gossip-talking women, freshen up their make-up, should not be able to destroy Shawn's and mine relation-ship.
No. I have to control my feelings – my fear of really have been betrayed – and I have to find out more about all of this. Maybe talk to this personal assistant of Andrew's – or better: talk to Shawn's manager himself.

But what if he did use you?

What if he really used you just for his success?

And you DID help him write songs.
I did help him write songs.
That's a fact.

The bitter realization's hitting me like a real made push, and I need all my power to push it back. Just away. Just for a moment.
My heart is only one step from being shattered, but I can't let some jealous women on a musicians party let ruin my relation-ship with Shawn.
Trust and honesty is what we've built up on our relation-ship. We've told this each other so many times. Trust and honesty.

Though, I feel that something of what I've heard on the women's toilet is true. I just feel it. But I don't want to. I really don't want to.

So when Shawn's looking at me questioning I put a smile on my face. Stay at least half-true, Mandy. That's better than any kind of lying. Better than any other lie you might have or will hear tonight.

"I've met Amy", I say through the music.

Shawn's staring at me. "What?! Where?"

"Here." I point to any corner of the room. "She's here, on the party."

Some kind of anger mixed with some strange and not welcomed-to-see panic appears on his face. "She's here on the party – here in London? What the fuck is she doing here?! How did she even get in?!"

"You can ask her yourself", I say. Amy's walking straight to us.

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AN:

Sooo, long chapter. Maybe I should use this to announce that there'll be a few handful of more chapters. At first the story was planned to have hundred chapters, and then it turned to be hundred-and-fifty ... and well, here we go. ;)

I'm so happy about every single reader and every single comment and vote you leave.
I know it often takes some courage to write a comment but it takes some courage to publish a story too, and I'd love to see what you've enjoyed and where you felt with Mandy and Shawn and all the others appearing in this story.

Anyways sometimes just reading is also totally okay. :)

Therefore: Have a good time!

Rapunzel xx