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As the days near closer to my discharge from the hospital, I have mixed feelings. I am thankful for the nurses and the psychiatrists here. Especially the one who can see through my pretend stability, that I think I am pretty convincing with.

Thankful for the CBT teacher here. The call on, how to be unstuck, has been extremely beneficial for me. I have certainly learned a lot about myself. How my rumination is keeping me stuck. How my guilt of that past keeps me stuck. 

I have learned that my need for control is a self sabotaging behavior. Sabotages relationships and myself. My health. Education. Anything really.

My all or nothing, black and white thinking. Although over the years I have become better at this thinking. 

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I am excited, and more than ready now to become unstuck and live my life. To live happier. The people who work here have given me more tools for my tool box...my mental health tool box. 

I am ready to heal and fix the relationships with my teenagers. Also pass on knowledge. 

I am ready to have fun and live life again. Moving forward and accomplish my goals.

I truly hope I can be a source of strength and inspiration for my kids, family and friends. 

Even when the clouds are blocking the stars...the stars are always there.


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