Context is everything....or is it?
Being told something over and over, I guess a person tends to listen. Especially if afraid of a person.
That sentence, Sit Still, Listen and do as your TOLD, what kind of person would you tell that to? What relationship would that be used in?
Surly not a person? Someone you love. Not someone you have any ounce of respect for
Then why did he think it was okay to tell me that? Does he think that is a correct way to speak to someone? The person he spent half his life with.
I cannot fathom saying that to any person, regardless of how angry I am.
Being told, DONT say NO to me, over and over again. Having the phrase yelled at me...scared me. Yes context is important...however, with the previous....being told that over and over by someone who has all this inner anger that is spilling out in to their day-to-day life....a person begins to feel scared saying no to that person.
Perhaps that is exactly what he wanted. Me to be afraid of him. Power and control. The cycle of abuse. WOW. My eyes are opened and clear, the rose colored glasses have disappeared. The brainwashing how subtle and powerful it is, it can be.
Like I said though, in a pervious chapter.....2005... I was not perfect. Maybe I deserved the mistreatment and now ..we are both hurt...like the poking of eyes...leaves the whole world blind.
Well, I am setting myself free. Today is a new beginning and I am no longer living in the past of what has been. I am unstuck.
I appreciate my mental health cheerleaders here at the hospital. I am mentally stable enough that I now know....I am okay, I am strong and I can trust myself to keep myself safe. I can trust my intuition.
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When I was younger, I gave my then boyfriend power. Told him, I can't trust my brain all the time and need him to help make sense of the world.
WOW oh WOW! I gave him the power....to....control me in a way.
Never again will I give that power away.
As he didn't even want me to get mental health help....because keeping me mentally ill ment he had power over me.
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Psychosis and Dentures
Non-FictionPsychosis, Bipolar. PTSD and gaslighting How all that came together all at once How I survived and how I am doing A daily real time blog.
