I apologize from all of my heart for not taking you with me when I left. I don't expect you to understand or accept it. I do hope in time, as you both get older, you both understand the *why*.
I didn't want you to pick and choose. I didn't want you to leave your home and your friends. I thought the mind control was just towards me and not towards you both. I didn't abandon you.
My oldest son, I feel like you implanted memories in to my mind of what happened to you in 2015. I am so sorry for what had occurred. Had I know what was going on when I was working waitressing job in the evenings, that would have been put to an end, immediately.
My dearest sons, I have always want and will always want and need you in my life. I hope in time you both can forgive me.
***I know it is not easy to have a mother with a mental illness**
I have a very traumatic past, childhood. Maybe one day you both would like to hear of it. Till then I will keep to myself.
**The time in the psyche unit I confronted a lot of my PTSD triggers. I see now that a lot of my triggers and my avoidance and fears did somewhat traumatize you both. I see and understand the reaction you got amused you both as you started to understand.....
I forgive you both. As you did not know. I hope now that you are growing older and are somewhat understanding the effects PTSD triggers can have on a person, how traumatic it is for a person to constantly live in fear, can make a person break.
Love you both xoxo
Mom.
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Psychosis and Dentures
Non-FictionPsychosis, Bipolar. PTSD and gaslighting How all that came together all at once How I survived and how I am doing A daily real time blog.
