Psychosis and Dentures

90 days

Since I experienced my tornado of a break down.

looking back on the days leading up to my episode I do remember being paranoid, scared, irritable. Did it help that there were cameras every where in the shelter? Nope. The LRT littered with drug users, nope. Or my daughter constantly saying, "germs germs germs!" (i thought my ex and my teens were trying to use my daughter to get me to be scared. (Contamination OCD and everything).

These days I recognize when I am having racing thoughts. They more individual now instead of this constant buzzing in my ears. 

i take medicine appropriately, although i find myself wanting to skip them....part of the illness i suppose. Get better because of the medication...and all of a sudden think don't need them anymore...when in fact have to keep taking them to feel good. 
Which i will continue to take them...

My bond with my kids becoming stronger as the days go on....my teens still want minimum to do with me...that's the nature of having teenagers though. My one son though, he really makes an effort which i appreciate so very much.

I went back to work for one day as a cook assistant...i lasted 4 hours before i was sent home...i do not know what i was thinking...was definitely not ready mentally...and i realized I am still recovering from my manic episode.

I did manage a shift just last week at my other hospital. Working in the cafeteria. Very relaxing shift. Felt accomplished and proud to complete it. 

I will take the days one at a time instead of trying to anticipate and plan 100% of the future. I need to learn to live in the moments and the days. Which i am succeeding at.