blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

one : club

delilah

how can i make this right? how am i going to do this alone? i thought i was going to have her to lean on, to depend on and now i don't even have that. "another one please!" i yelled to the bartender over the loud music. "keep them coming please."

"need someone to flip that frown upside down? cause i can do many tricks like that." a weirdo eyed me up and down.

"not interested." i told him and turn to look the other direction.

"oh come on, you look like you wouldn't mind some company and it's your lucky day! i'm available!" he for some reason thought it was appropriate to keep on talking.

"hey man, unless don't want to get kicked out or actually get you ass kicked... scram!" ellie made him leave. "you good?" she checked one me.

"yeah thanks." i took another shot.

"two more and im cutting you off." she told me. "want something lighter, i'll gladly make you it."

"you're no fun." i glared at her with a slight smile. i didn't protest, she just wants what's good for me, i mean she's my ride home at the end of the day.

"two bloody marries and one tequila shot." some girl sat next to me waiting for her drinks. "hey, you're really pretty."

i turned to look at her and she was beautiful, so very beautiful. she was smiling at me genuinely and it warmed my heart, i couldn't help but smile back. "thank you, you're like a goddess... those eyes." i blurted. i have to admit i don't really know how to contain my words once alcohol is in my system.

"i hear that a lot, im just glad i could make you smile. nothing is worth your pretty tears, whatever you're going through. you're gonna be good." she told me. eloise came back with her drinks and she left. made my day well... night.

my phone started ringing and i picked it up. normally picking up the phone when luna is calling is easy because id have a way out, our daughter of course. now juniper is with luna, which is only two days every two weeks. "is juni okay?"

"she's crying, she wants you." luna said. "i don't know what to do anymore— wait are you at the bar? lila?"

"none of your business where i am." i got off my misery stool and went behind the bar. eli yelled after me to go back but i motioned that i was on the phone and i went out back. "put me on speaker."

"we've done this before, she won't stop crying." luna sighed.

"put me on the damn speaker." i raised my voice.

"there you go."

"luna baby, it's mama." i changed the tone of my voice. "you have to go sleepy time now, you have to be a good girl with mommy." she just kept on screaming and crying, not listening to any words.

"it's not working." she had the nerve of getting annoyed with me.

"this is the third time already i have had to pick her up when she was supposed to stay over night luna, im tired. you know if you had been there maybe she wouldn't act this way around you, maybe you'd know what to do to soothe her." i said as i was making my way back into the bar to get eloise.