blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

four : your word means nothing

delilah

the last time i saw luna i think i forgot that i was going through a break up and that i wasn't just trying to only involve her in our daughters life. i should give myself space from her, the opposite of exposure therapy, just complete ghost mode when it comes to any type of relationship between her and i.

my solution was to get the babysitter to be around at all times when luna and june are having their bonding time. plus another upside of that is the babysitter is the age of our moms so i won't be setting my ex up with someone i employ, thank you very much.

i visited elle at work for about an hour cause she took a shift on the weekend to cover for one of her coworkers. then i just went around shopping at the mall and honestly just walking around with no clue where i was going or what i was doing.

i would like to say that im a pretty reserved person. i like talking to people and socializing, but its very chilled out. so whenever im out, id spark a four sentence conversation with a stranger out of nowhere just to be nice. that's not an issue for me.

i'm not antisocial and im not an introvert, im a calm human being and that's that. i believe that it's because i try to balance out my brain chatter and my actual chatter, i expressed that to elle and she agreed. im not really an introvert or an extrovert, i'm me. i love it, i don't desire to change me at all.

"oh you got the same jacket as me!" i said to the women that just stood behind me.

"look at us having elite taste in fashion." she immediately replied, her face lighting up. i love seeing people's face flip, i love it even more when i know they've had a not so great day.

"tell me about it!" i smiled.

"hey, can you get me this shirt? i'll venmo you later." the same blue eyes ive been dreaming about stared at me. "delilah!" her face lit up softly.

"billie." my face turned red recalling the state i was in when we met.

"how are you?" she sweetly smiled.

"uh, i'm doing okay." i nodded as i took a step forward with the line. "definitely better than that day." i chuckled. "thank you for what you did again."

"yeah of course, it was the right thing to do." she replied. "oh, clauida! this is delilah, we met at the club not too long ago."

"i'm clauida, her sister in law, nice to meet you." clauida introduced herself.

"nice to meet you too, i love your hair by the way and obviously your sense of fashion." i complimented.

"ugh says the pretty read head that has the prettiest personality." she replied. "this is the highlight of my day seriously. your aura is so comforting, i feel like i can tell you anything."

"i get that." i laughed. "people tell me that i give off their mom vibe but in a good cool way? i don't know what that means but i mean... i am a mom so.." i shrugged.

"you're a mom!" she widened her eyes in excitement of this new information.

"year a little girl, her name is juniper." i nodded.

"i love that name, i already have the names picked out for my children. just waiting for the right time, now im just focusing on my career and so is the baby daddy." she told me.

"that's good! i've always wanted to be a young mom, i don't regret it one bit, i always think about the days where my daughter and i become friends. i'm not gonna get excited to say best friends but yeah... obviously im on a break right now, her mom has her today." i replied.