blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

twenty-seven : routine

billie

"will i always and forever be your third wheel?" i looked between honey and raymond.

"you know... i still can't understand why you had to give her an ultimatum. she needed time and you said you'd give her that, all of a sudden you tell her now or never?" honey said. raymond gave her a look. "what!? someone needs to tell her the truth, straight up."

"she was using me, straight up." i replied. "every time id try and leave she'd kiss me and then id look for the answer and then she wouldn't have one."

"billie, it was her daughter's birthday. you could've found a better time to end it and claudia says she's different now." she told me.

"clauida talked to you!? she's not telling me shit!" i widened my eyes.

"shit, guess i wasn't supposed to say that." she flattened her lips.

"well she could've reached out if she changed her mind, i told her she could." i told her.

"well guess it's over." raymond shrugged.

"fuck you."

"you ended it, you're the one that did that. maybe she feels like it's all off the table now. this is your mess, you're the only one that can fix that." he told me.

"she can too."

"she can too." he nodded.

"i miss her." i sighed.

"then do something about it, you know she liked you." honey told me.

"what would i even do?"

"use your imagination."

"she's going to be at finneas' birthday party." i told them.

"let me guess, you will avoid her at all costs." he rolled his eyes.

"i'm furious, so yes. she used me."

"you keep saying that but how? you had a sexual relationship that was consensual. you both developed feelings and you told her that you wanted more and she was hesitant. she had the right to feel that way, you know that. okay yes you were supposed to talk but you fucked and then you needed to talk but then you made out, so what? she likes you, you're acting like a child." she told me.

"okay, i feel the need to act like i'm not here." raymond said.

"it's how i feel, she says that she likes me but her actions are way different. maybe she just likes the sex!" i told her.

"who doesn't like sex." she chuckled. "but she likes you dumb ass."

"i guess that wasn't enough then." i shrugged.

"raymond can you please smack her for me?" honey told her boyfriend.

"i would love to."

"wait." i widened my eyes. "that's her and chloe."

"the universe is sending you signs eilish." raymond told me, lowering his hand. "go."

"no."

"well then i'm going, if you aren't." honey got up.

"your girlfriend is getting on my nerves." i huffed, with my heart beating faster. i could only see her beautiful, stunning hair, but when she turned around to discover honey. i saw her breathtaking beauty once again.

she did look different. her lines were sharper, her facial structure more defined. the light in her yellow eyes gone, which i did not think was possible. i could not believe my own eyes, she did not even plaster on a slight smile. she spotted me, took one glance at me, said something to chloe and walked out.