blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

twenty : julia

billie

"you think i don't see you staring at honey and i all the time? wishing it was you and you know who." raymond said while we were on break.

"you two are cute, im glad you made it official. i'm happy for you." i smiled.

"come on, talk to me." he sighed.

"the last time i talked to her, i told her that when i come home we need to talk and she agreed. we both sounded hopeful, like we both knew what that talk was going to be about and she didn't sound weirded out or scared you know?" i started.

"yeah." he nodded.

"but then we didn't talk for a few days, im not going to say that we talk every second of every day. we don't, we're both pretty busy and she was sick then her friend that she lives with got sick. so i get it, but it feels like she's been avoiding me as well?" i sighed. "what if she isn't on the same page as me? and i get back home confess that i have real mother fucking feelings for her and then she tells me she doesn't feel the same way?"

"she does feel the same way." he shock his head.

"and if she does, that doesn't guarantee us! she has a little girl, she lives with her best friend, she has an ex wife. it's complicated." i added.

"it's not complicated, unless you make it complicated."

"i'm not trying to make it complicated."

"then fucking don't over think it." he simply said.

"alright fine!"

"you just keep in mind that it might be true that she likes you, but she also might be scared. which is okay, cause you said it yourself she was married. she thought that was her person and she was abandoned by that person. she might want to flea to protect herself, but just... be patient with her." raymond told me.

"you're right." i frowned. "thank you."

"of course." he smiled. "you owe me brownies for the advice i gave you."

"i don't owe you shit, you're lucky you get to be in my presence." i glared at him. "but i'll make you brownies when we're both back in cali for the editing sessions."

"you're the kindest eilish."

"i know."

"i take that back."

"sorry no returns, take that up with with hr or customer service."

"oh i will, maggie won't be happy to hear my complaints." he told me.
-

we wrapped up filming for the night at three. technically it was morning. i decided to sleep in my trailer, cause i was too sleep deprived to drive a car safely. apparently clauida forgot that time zones exist and she called me. i answered either way.

"what's up?"

"how could you keep a secret like that for me?"

"huh?" i frowned.

"you told me you liked each other but you were friends you didn't tell me friends with benefits! i suspected but i trusted you!" she scolded me.

"did she tell you!?" i widened my eyes. "did you see her today?"

"yeah, i saw her. chloe, eloise, your blaze and i all went out for dinner. elle mentioned something about you and delilah so casually, as if i already knew! it wasn't delilah that told me but what the fuck billie!" clauida explained.