blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

fourty-one : home

delilah

don't ever marry someone if your relationship had not been tested yet. if you've only seen the good days with them, it is not enough to swear yourself to them for eternity. you deserve more, you deserve someone that'll be there when you are unbearable to be around. when you are crumbling down and think there is no way you could recover. when you can't give them your whole self because someone else you love needs it.

find someone that isn't fragile, that is comfortable and confident of themselves. find someone that loves you unconditionally because love is never conditional. i don't believe it can be. find someone that sees you for you. and lastly make sure that feeling is reciprocated.

"i'm confused on why the main character doesn't choose the person that she has always loved and has always loved her. why choose someone she has met so recently? barely just known." someone i don't know asked me, it was a part of reem's process to discover the reader's perspective.

"did you even read the book? the love of her life did not really know her—."

"i don't like this reader, he did not read the book all the way. it shows, he slacked off. please leave— you." reem's voice was sharp.

"that happened?" i asked looking back at the man that just left the room.

"he just wasted our time." she huffed. "he thought he could get away with it, for some quick cash."

"so what now?"

"you're free to go, come back tomorrow for the backup." she told me.

i was unexpectedly free for the afternoon and so i went back home, did some work on my laptop so the day wouldn't be completely wasted before i took elle out for lunch and invited both our mothers. it was always nice when it was just the four of us. our mother would share embarrassing stories of us when we were young and we'd share how they traumatized us growing up.

nathan was training for the hours we were gone and buy the time we made it back, he had just come out of the shower. an hour later i started the car to pick up the girls and the normal changed. juniper had just woken up from a nap and iris was crying, asking for her dad.

when we arrived home she didn't leave her dads arms and juniper was cranky. there is a reason we stopped allowing them to nap during the day. i decided that i was going to take her out and leave the house to elle and nathan, with iris.

she didn't want to go to the park because the dress she was wearing was her favorite and she didn't want to get it dirty. i asked what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to go to the salon. i called up the place we usually go to and luckily they were free.

my nail girl has known me for years and so i wasn't shy to ask something... unique of her. see.. i enjoy long nails and i don't like how in your face shorter and longer nails are. it's not my cup of tea and so i thought i could just put glue on nails on my middle and index finger and nobody has to know.

i wasn't even sure if i was ready yet, but i wanted to be prepared either way. it wouldn't hurt anyone right?

"is that who you're doing this for?" niki my nail girl said when my phone started ringing.

"yes." i smiled. i answered the phone and put her on speaker, cause my nails were still wet and i didn't want to risk it. "hey bil you're on speaker, cause my nails are wet. we're at the salon."

"you went without me!" she exclaimed.

"i didn't know you were interested." i smiled. "next time promise we'll call you."

"who'd you go with?"

"just juni." i replied. "she was in a badder mood than usual and i wanted to get her out of the house."