blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

thirty-seven : mama?

delilah

"i'm telling you elle none of the publishers are enthusiastic at all. they were all like meh, your book is just like every other book we've read. okay, they didn't say that but they might as well have. elle that is my biggest fear, that my book is like any other book." i was ranting to elle on my way back to work.

"delilah please stop overthinking, at the end of the day it's your choice on which publishing route you go for and they will all be begging for your work because you'd bring them so much money. shut the fuck up okay? no one has read your draft yet so don't just assume." she told me.

"i know, but im so stressed out i actually might get hives all over my chest." i took in a deep breath. "this is really important to me elle."

"i know it is lilah, and you will be okay. i promise you your mind is so creative and i know how hard you worked on that book and it will not go unnoticed. i love you okay? i have to go back to vomiting now, but good luck on your project meeting thing." she said that last part way too fast.

"i love you... too." i paused but continued talking to myself when she hung up.

when i got to work i immediately went into my office mumbling a good morning to chloe. she knew better than to ask what was wrong so we both just focused on our work. "morning delilah, chloe." oliver knocked on our office door about two hours later. "your clients have successfully been media trained and they all did their first interview. good job delilah on locking it down, some of them have a few more to do and then their manager is coming over here i think with a few other people to express some concerns."

"okay." i nodded and went back to my computer.

i could feel chloe and oliver exchange looks and non audible mouth movements. i ignored them, i had to get ahead of my schedule for the week cause i might have to clock out early if i get a call from a publishing office. i only took a bathroom break and grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen. at some point i even put on my airpods cause i couldn't stand hearing my colleagues' voices.

"what!" i groaned when i had to take off one of the buds because chlo was waving at me.

"they're going to be here in five."

"okay." i took off my other airpod and put the both of them in their case and back in my purse. i saved my work and closed all the tabs and when i looked up, there she was knocking on my office with the bluest eyes and the cutest smile. "i didn't know you were coming." i felt like a weight had just fallen off of me.

"i wanted to surprise you." she replied and we met each other halfway. i melted into her arms as she held me tightly. "elle said you were having a bad day."

"not a bad day, i'm just getting agitated by everything and everyone. i know why but i really can't do anything about it at this moment." we both pulled away from the hug. "everyone at those offices were so rude and unfriendly towards me, they were literal robots."

"hey, you know it's going to work out." she held my hands. "look at me." she told me and i met her gaze, "look at where you work. you can definitely pull some strings, get a meeting with a publishing office you actually want to work with. not one that would just get your book printed. you don't want that, you're a smart woman, use the resources you have to your advantage." she told me.

frowned wondering why i didn't think to do that, "you're a witch." i smiled.

"you have red hair so i think you've got us mixed up but okay." she smiled back and pulled me in again. "after the meeting do you still have work or are you done?"

"i accomplish a substantial amount of tasks when im feeling uneasy. i've done two days of work in one sitting." i replied.

"are you still feeling like you need an outlet to let all the uneasiness out? or do you want to go out with me after?" she cupped my cheek.