blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction

fourty : cocoa

delilah

"AHHHHHH." i yelled when i saw a creature jump the moment i walked into the house. "what is that!" i yelled. "NATHAN!"

"relax it's just mr. bunny here." he picked up the cutest brown haired rabbit.

"you got a bunny!" i gasped and took him from his hands. "does he have a name?"

"i thought id let the girls name him." he told me.

"eloise is going to kill you." i said. "she already has a baby on the way."

"i know she'll want to, but you'll need a man in the house when im gone." he told me.

"no." i shook my head. "it's not funny." i said when he laughed. he does that when he's nervous. "eloise is pregnant, you can not leave."

"i got promoted, i have to join my unit soon." he told me. "i have to leave."

"but you weren't supposed to." i yelled at him. "you're going to break their hearts, your girls will be devastated. you can't leave." a tear escaped my eye, but i acted this it wasn't there.

"it's my duty." he told me.

"fuck your duties. you are leaving your daughter again, you are leaving your pregnant wife!" i yelled at him. "you thought a rabbit would fix that!... she had a feeling you know. she knew this would happen."

"you will be here, you will take care of her for me like you always have." he told me.

"this sucks ass." i sniffled.

"i know how much it sucks, trust me, but this is good. this means im going to be able to provide more for them, for the baby."

"congrats you'll make more money."

"oh come on, you knew this would happen as well." he rolled his eyes.

"can't i just be mad at you for a moment?" i slapped his chest. "just— come back."

"del—."

"no! you will come back, they can not lose you! you can not not meet your child. promise. promise you'll come back." i told him.

"i promise i'll come back." he held me.

"when will you tell her?"

"as soon as she's home, before the girls get back." he replied.

"then i need to pull myself together." i walked away, petting the rabbit in my hands. "you'll need to get a crate for the rabbit... or a fence." i let him roam the house as i started cleaning up. at least she'll come back to a clean home, not that it will make this any better.

once i scrubbed down the floors, rearranged the living room and decluttered everywhere. i put on my shoes to pick up our girls, knowing that when i come back, eloise will be home and she will receive the news that'll shatter her whole. i almost don't want to leave, cause maybe if i never did she will never have to know, everything will forever be stuck in time.

but i have no power over time, i can not control it. i unlocked the door and walked out, to my car and found myself outside the day care without remembering the way here. i hugged the girls so tight when they came running up to me and instead to taking them home, i took them to the park.

i fed them and made them sit around for a little bit before allowing them to go play again. i let them play for so long, they asked me when we were going back home themselves. by the time we arrived they had been half asleep. we walked into a dead silent house, it was a struggle to bathe them but it wasn't to get them down.