delilah
i have been feeling nostalgic. i have been missing a younger version of me that didn't have a lot to carry on her shoulder. im not sure why exactly i am feeling this way. i don't want to go back. i believe i have accomplished everything ive ever wanted, the life goals i set for myself when i was younger.
"how many children do you want? when we're all happily married." i interlaced my fingers with hers as we layed on the grass.
"well, first off you're the one that's going to be pregnant and so however many babies you want." she replied.
"you don't say first off unless you have other points to present." i gave her a look. "and you don't want to experience being so close to your child? having a life grow in you? don't you think that is amazing?"
"no, not really." she shook her head. "i mean of course it's like a miracle, but i don't want that."
"but you want children."
"yes, of course. i could never keep you from your biggest desire." she replied. "you are going to be the greatest most loving mother." she kissed the back of my hand.
"i love looking forward to our future." i sighed, looking at the blue cloudy sky.
"what else do you want to do? besides marry me and have my babies." she giggled.
"i want to write a book, and i want to have a stable job. i want to have a house with a nice backyard and i want to just be happy, because that is a privilege that is sometimes taken for granted right?" i replied.
"i will make it my life's meaning to make sure you always have that light in your eyes." she told me.
"i don't doubt that for a second."
-
loving and being loved is such a beautiful thing and even after having my heart shattered into pieces i managed to pick the pieces up and be okay. i was okay and i remember on the bad days, id remember this one moment when luna unknowingly said something that helped me get by. we were just kids then."lilah?" she called out my name.
"luna?"
"if i am ever stupid enough to lose you, know that i will always love you and forgive me at some point." she told me.
"did you do something?" i frowned.
"no! i'm just saying." she shrugged. "i really care about you."
"i care about you too."
"what if you don't end up in the same college?" she asked. "most people break up after high school or on their first semester of college."
"why are you thinking about that? we still have two years and we'll figure it out. you're smart and i love you endlessly... im smart too but you know how my emotions can get the best of me. were the perfect combo, we'll survive. i know it." i smiled.
"mom had been warning me not to get too attached." she admitted.
"does she not like me?" i frowned.
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blaze of desire // billie eilish fanfiction
Fanfictionon a bad night in a crowded club, two worlds collide. hazel meets blue. delilah a newly divorced mother, isn't looking for anything other than a brief escape, not realizing that her brief escape would end up being what she couldn't escape from. bill...