dear diary (larvis)

dear diary - flowers and the lake

travis
todd, sal, larry and ashley had invited me to go out with them. i had no idea why or where, but i went along anyway. i had to tell my dad i was off studying with a girl so he would get off my back.
"why did you guys invite me here again?"
sal stepped up and grabbed my arm, tugging me down into the flower fields.
"freedom. we love it down here, sometimes we swim in the lake. it's great honestly. would you want to swim with us?"
i shook my head almost immediately and squeezed my nose bridge.
"no gay stuff."
"what about flower picking. larry loves it."
larry turned red, shaking his head.
"i mean..okay."
"so you can go flower picking but not swimming? is that not gayer?"
i scoffed.
"not to me. i like...flowers."
it did honestly sound pretty gay. and i wasn't even the biggest fan of flowers, except for my favourites.

somewhere in my heart i felt that i only wanted to go flower picking to get closer to larry, and that i really did like him. i tried to push away the feeling and i just fiddled with my jumper sleeve and i stared down at the fairly wet grass.
"you two are going flower picking?"
i nodded, watching larry nod too.
"don't kiss or anything."

ashley winked and walked off with her hands in her pockets, with the others following behind. my eyes darted around the forest, looking at all the different kinds of flowers and plants. i had never seen so many flowers before, let alone this much nature. larry immediately ran off, frolicking through the flowers and the tall grass. i could tell he loved it here, by the lake and in the forest by the smile on his face and how he shut his eyes. he stopped when he reached a big tree, covered in vines and tiny little flowers.

he turned to face me, looking over his shoulder.
"well? are you coming?"
i bit my lip, following after him. the grass reached my knees when i stood in the tall field. a few flowers sprouted out of the ground by my feet, most being daisies.
"follow me, the best flowers are over here."
i traced after him, watching him jump through the fields and almost fall over a few times from the wet grass. i reached out to catch him a few times.
"here."
the patch was full of big flowers, beds of roses, oxeye daisies, posies, lilies, and tons more. they were beautiful. he bent down, picking a rose from its root and holding it in his palm before picking a few different flowers.

in a few minutes, he had a big handful of different flowers. he turned around and smiled.
"do you want to pick some?"
as i stepped forward, i bent down and leaned down into the beds. behind all the flowers, was a big collection of daffodils.
"oh my favourites.."
i muttered under my breath, picking one out.
"they're your favourite? why is that?"
i thought to myself, taking a deep breath.

"i used to always call my mom daffodil. before she you know.."
he bit his lip and frowned.
"oh i'm sorry. what was her name? was it daffodil?"
i moved my head from side to side.
"no, her name was daffy. well, that's what my dad called her. her real name was daphne."
he smiled and picked a few daffodils.
"my favourite flower has a similar meaning to yours. well, sort of. i lost a family member too. my dad."
my gaze softened as i stared into his eyes. his big, tired eyes.
"well.. he's been gone for awhile now. i promised to never forget him, so my favourite flowers are forget-me-nots. so i'll never forget him."
i almost teared up at his story, bunching the flowers together.

we stayed quiet for awhile, both creating separate bouquets of completely different colours. as i held each flower together in my hands, larry shoved his bouquet into my face.
"it's for you."
it was a dull purple bunch of flowers that i held in my hands, all the shades and shapes being relatively different.
"because you always have purple sweater on."
i smiled, clutching the flowers tightly in my embrace.
"purple reminds me of you."

the bouquet i had made for larry in the first place wasn't for him, but i made it for him. it was quite difficult but i did my best. i remember him mentioning once that his favourite colour was mostly pink, for some reason as it completely contrasted his aesthetic. he had mentioned that his favourite colour was baby pink in particular that i did my best to match.