dear diary (larvis)

dear diary - fight

contains transphobia
sal
travis finally gave up on the music as he had an awful migraine and therefore looked and acted miserable. except for when larry spoke to him, obviously. i could and did take off my mask infront of travis, and most of the time he didn't notice as he barely even looked at me, only down at larry's phone or at larry himself. he only looked at people when they spoke to him. ofcourse, except for larry. he loved looking at larry and never even tried to hide it unless larry looked back.
"hey travis have you seen larry's treehouse?"
he wouldn't respond to anyone apart from todd or larry at the moment, so there was no point in asking. for some reason ( no offence to todd ) but he seemed to like todd a lot more than me and ashley.
"sorry ash. no, he hasn't. not yet. do you wanna see it travis?"
"yeah. that's cool."
he followed larry up the steps and to the window.
"do i have to jump out of that window?"
he hummed and pushed it open, jumping through it first. larry always went to his treehouse so it was easy. the window was quite big so it was easy for all of us, just not travis.
"do you want a boost?"
he nodded and todd got down on one knee, holding out his hands. travis cautiously stood on his hand, awkwardly throwing himself out of the window and onto the floor. afterwards, todd jumped through.
"jesus travis. are you okay?"
he didn't respond and instead stood up with an awkward and embarrassed expression on his face.
"if you can't get out of that window good luck getting up into the treehouse."
he turned to it, groaning loudly and walking over with the rest of us. as expected larry went up first. he put down two of his hands as travis climbed up. travis awkwardly grabbed them as larry lifted him up.
"there. this is my treehouse. do you like it?"
he looked around the room, fiddling with his fingers and walking over to a few things before turning around.
"i like it."
larry smiled and sat on the beanbag in the corner of the treehouse.
"what were we going to do out here?"
larry stood back up again.
"well my mom can't hear anything we do so we can play music as loud as we want, and we can drink, smoke, whatever and my mom won't care because the basement won't smell of it. hang on."
he turned around and put his hands on the floor, climbing down the treehouse and back towards the window.

"so travis uh.. can i ask you something?"
travis still wasn't speaking so there was no point in doing that either. he groaned loudly and looked away. ashley peered over at todd, indicating him to talk to him.
"travis, we were just wondering if you and larry might be in a relationship?"
he squeezed the bridge of his nose the second he heard larry's name, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes.
"why are you so invested in that? why do you care so much about what me and larry do together and how many times do i have to say no? even if we were, why does it matter, and why do you want to know so badly that you have to bring it up every time we see eachother? seriously, just shut up! it's not your business to know absolutely everything about my life."
he sat still and pushed his head into his hands.
"uh.. travis? are you okay?"
larry held the bags in his hand, removing the bottle of alcohol he balanced in his pocket and putting it onto the floor, along with a few pillows and some blankets. this time, he didn't even reply to larry.

the whole night travis didn't say a single word, no matter how many times larry spoke to him and tried to cheer him up. it seemed to upset larry too. i saw him tap travis on the knee, whispering something to him with his head still in the palms of his hands. he lifted his head for a few seconds, with a few tears on his cheeks.
i tried to whisper to ashley.
"shit.. did we do that?"
but travis and larry ended up hearing. for the first time ever, larry scowled at me. or ashley. either way, he was mad at one of us, or both of us. travis looked angry and miserable. larry looked back to him before picking up a blanket and placing it on his lap.

with his knees at his chest, travis lent against the wall of the treehouse, looking lost and practically dead. his face was lifeless and i didn't see him blink once. larry kept looking back at him too often, becoming more and more stressed each time. he started biting his nails and actually drinking alcohol.
"are you okay larry?"
he nodded shakily and drank from the bottle again. ashley snatched it out of his hands and put it back in the bag.
"why did you do that?"
ashley sighed and shook her head in annoyance.
"listen i'm so sick of this, what is wrong with you? AND travis?"
travis poked his head out from his arms.
"i don't think that's any of your business, ashley."
she scowled and crossed her legs. i knew what was about to happen but i couldn't stop it. they were going to fight again.

"how do you just let him talk to us like that? you said he changed!"
"and he did, there's nothing wrong with how he acts. just stop it."
travis stared up at the ceiling, his face being pale.
"seriously? he's so.. passive aggressive. or he's just aggressive. honestly, i should've never forgiven him."
larry groaned and rubbed his temples.
"ashley. seriously. there is nothing wrong with how he acts or speaks to people and if you think differently you can go home."
"you only think that because he's in love with you! we all know it, it's so obvious. you only think there's nothing wrong with how he speaks because he always speaks to you differently."
he folded his arms and shook his head.
"right, well maybe that's your fault? be nice to him and he'll be nice to you. he's nice to todd. and sal. and he's nice to you too. he just doesn't feel the best and there's nothing wrong with that."
"'he doesn't feel the best'? seriously larry? that's one way to stick up for him. it's just so pathetic larry. he's only nice to todd because he never says anything to anyone."
todd spoke after her before being cut off.
"well actually-"
"shut up tonya!"
he looked at her in pure disbelief before pulling the same face larry had.
"what the fuck? was there any reason to do that? i get you're mad, but why do you have to stoop so low to straight up be transphobic in the middle of a conversation?"
larry nodded.
"conversation? this is a conversation? clearly you and travis are alike if you think this is a calm conversation since he thinks he can talk to everyone like shit and get away with it because 'he's trying to change.'"
larry's breathing started to speed up and i really didn't want to know what would happen next.
"will you stop talking about travis? he has absolutely nothing to do with this and he isn't even doing anything!"
"just shut up larry! you've always been like this, the second someone is nice to you, you get attached to them in every situation for fuck sake. if i spoke to him the way he spoke to me you would probably punch me."
he was probably about to punch her.
"i swear to god ashley stop. just leave it. just stop fighting just stop saying things that aren't necessary just stop. i mean it."
"his father probably never disciplined him from how he speaks to people thinking it's okay."
he lifted his head again.
"my father did discipline me."
she ignored him and folded her arms.
"ashley i will kick you out if you keep doing this."
she whimpered sarcastically and picked up the bottle from the bag.
"his mother is probably ashamed of him."

i have never, ever, ever seen larry so angry.
"ashley. get out."
she shook her head.
"i-"
in the awkward silence travis weeped into his arms, his eyes poking out from above his arms. the sleeves of his sweater were soaked in tears.
"travis don't play the victim."
he squeezed his eyes shut before quickly standing up and rubbing his face violently.
"no, you're right. my mother is ashamed of me. you want to know how i know that? because she killed herself because of ME. so i'm sorry i act the way i do, but you really can't be surprised about me being so bitter after what you just fucking said."
he opened the latch of the treehouse, jumping out and slamming it behind him.
"ashley go home before i drag you home."
she stood up quickly, and without question she followed travis out of the treehouse. out of the window, i could see her run off.
"jesus. todd i'm so sorry. she needs to be sedated sometimes."
larry sat still in silence, his fingers and eyes twitching.
"are you okay?"
he didn't answer.
"i'm so sorry larry."
he shook his head and jumped to his feet.
"it's not you that needs to be sorry. it's ashley. and it's not me she should be apologising to. it's travis. i'm sorry but i would appreciate it if you all went home."
todd and i nodded quickly, opening the latch for larry to jump out.
"just go."