dear diary (larvis)

dear diary - school

travis
the rest of the night with larry was silent and kinda depressing. the only word he said to me after he went to the bathroom was 'goodnight.' i knew something was off but i didn't want to  ask. i avoided showing too much affection to him as it would give it away. give my feelings away. but does that really matter anymore?

he barely spoke the morning after either. he also wouldn't reply to me unless i asked him a question. he looked oddly upset too. different  than normal. he wasn't frowning, or crying, or sniffling. he just had a blank, disoriented face. he didn't pay attention to where he was going and often bumped into things, or wouldn't respond to his name. in any classes we were in together he looked down at his phone under the desk, or glared at everyone oddly. he didn't make a face, he looked as if he was genuinely dissociated. the only way i could possibly get his attention was by messaging him. even after i did, he wouldn't look at me. or anyone for that matter.

after a long period of time his phone finally buzzed, after larry checked it over and over again for some kind of message. he quickly replied, moving his fingers as fast as he could before shoving it back into his pocket again, biting his nails and pulling on the ends of his hair. any time i looked at him he looked more and more regretful. like he was angry at nothing but himself. his emotions changed often throughout the day from crying, to anger, to fear, or to nothing at all.

"larry what's wrong? you look so.. different?"
sal leaned over the table, placing his hand ontop of larry's.
"i'm fine."
he said it almost robotically, like he was reading it from a script. everyone knew something was up and it was obvious, but everyone also knew he wouldn't say anything no matter how hard everyone pressured him. but from how sal spoke, he quite clearly knew.

when larry spoke to me again that day, it was when he was helping me jump the fence. after helping me over the fence and jumping over after me, he smiled for the first time that day. it was fairly easy so i would get used to doing that every day. the walk home was similar. eyes on his phone at all times, not saying anything, and still with the same empty facial expression.

every day was the same. sat on larry's bed, watching tv in silence. although i was happy to be home with him it was very dull and boring, as we never really exchanged much words. especially when larry wouldn't get off his phone. once more, his phone buzzed.
"uh.. travis..?"
i looked at him, humming back.
"im gonna go downstairs a sec. sal wants to see me. i'll be right back. just stay here okay?"
i nodded, ignoring the gut feeling of something being wrong and watching him leave through his bedroom door, closing it after.