dear diary (larvis)

dear diary - gizmo

larry
i carried the blankets, pillows, and bags back to the basement and jumping through the window again. thankfully i could hear travis so he hadn't gone anywhere, the only problem was i had no idea where he was. i tried to follow the direction of his crying around my room, eventually finding him in my closet.
"it's just me travis. everyone else went home. you can come out."
he slowly came out of the closet, standing infront of me with tears still pouring down his face.
"get into bed travis. just go to bed okay?"
he nodded and did as i said as i brought the things from the treehouse into my room. he held the covers up by his face, still crying. i lifted his head, putting a pillow under it. i lay beside him, rubbing his head with the back of my hand.
"what's wrong?"
he shook his head and proceeded to cover his face again. for the time being i left it and tried to sleep, but any time i looked over at him he looked so lost and upset. he was facing the ceiling, blinking very slowly. as much as i wanted to say something i didn't. i didn't want to upset him more or disturb him, so i left it until the morning.

when i woke up, he was lying still once more and facing the ceiling.
"how did you sleep?"
"i didn't."
he lifted himself up almost robotically, standing up and kneeling down where his bag was.
"are you okay travis? why didn't you sleep?"
he pulled his inhaler out of his bag, taking a deep breath. he ignored me for a second, sitting down on the bottoms of his feet and putting his hands on his knees.
"i ruined your friendship with ashley, didn't i?"
he continued to stare down at the floor as he spoke, sounding upset but not showing any kind of emotion in his face.
"no. no ofcourse you didn't. don't worry about that travis you didn't-"
he cut me off.
"it's all my fault and you know it is. maybe it would be better if i just didn't speak at all."
as he chucked his inhaler back into his bag, he stood up and went into the kitchen, where my mom was.

"hi baby. hi travis."
she stared into his eyes.
"oh my. are you okay dear?"
he smiled so obviously falsely and nodded, sitting on the couch with his legs to his chest. just like he did in the treehouse. and when he was sat in the corner of my room. i sat beside him, pulling my phone out of my pocket and handing it to him. i had pulled up my notes app, and typed him a message.
'if u wont talk atleast type'
he sighed and pressed his lips together, taking the phone from my hand.
'ok. but i'm not talking to anyone else. just u.'
the message made me smile in some way, but i dismissed the feeling and typed again.
'that's fine. y do u not want to talk'
he took it from my hands as i handed it to him.
'i jst don't want to be mean to anyone again so it's easy if i don't say anything'
i turned off my phone and shook my head, biting my tongue.
"listen travis you weren't in the wrong at all. ashley was. don't worry about it, you aren't even mean you're just very straight forward and that's okay. she called todd by the wrong name and made fun of your- you know. she's instantly in the wrong."
he sat still, not saying a word and going back to my room.

he pulled a few blankets off my bed.
"where are you going?"
he grabbed a pillow, chucking it by my closet. he didn't have to answer for me to know. he wouldn't answer anyway.
"you're sleeping?"
he nodded.
"that's good. but you can sleep on the bed i really don't mind."
he continued putting the blankets and pillows into the closet.
"sleep for as long as you like. sleep well okay?"
he smiled back to me. from where i was stood i could see him, curled up into a ball on the closet floor, shutting his eyes and opening them after a few seconds. he did it repeatedly, clearly struggling to get to sleep.

as i walked over to the closet, he stared right up at me, not pulling a face. i sat beside him, closing one of the closet doors. he shuffled onto his back and peered up at me once more, batting his eyelashes in a confused way. he furrowed his eyebrows as i placed my hand onto his head, rubbing his temple with my thumb back and forth. he raised his eyebrows and leaned into my touch, sighing deeply and relaxing his shoulders. he soon fell asleep, touching my wrist with one hand and the other on his stomach. i loved how calm travis felt when i touched him, and how he fell asleep so quickly and easily when i was around. when i knew he was asleep, i put one arm under his neck and the other under his legs, lifting him up gently, as to not disturb him and under the thick quilt on my bed. he didn't open his eyes, luckily. for travis' age, he was worryingly light. i tucked the covers into the nape of his neck, smiling down at him as he slept peacefully.

i didn't know what to do for the rest of the day so all i did was sit there in todd's apartment. i knew travis would be safe at home with my mom and i had already told my mom to tell him where i was if he woke up and was worried. todd spoke about his hobbies, his weird gadgets and his ugly fish. i got some more weed from his dad, so that was fun. and neil came over too. i liked neil. i would've gone over to sals place, but he made up an excuse which i knew was a lie, and i figured it was just personal so i left it. it was still fun spending time with todd. looking at the pictures of younger todd on his parents walls, how different he looked and the man he had turned into. looking at todd i could've never believed he was once a girl. yet i'm surprised travis never noticed from the sound of his voice.

sal
i roamed around the apartments, trying to get my mind off of the horrible event that had taken place and also trying to find gizmo at the same time. gizmo had gone missing. somehow, someway, he had gotten out. i didn't bother to think how, as i was too upset and too focused on finding him. i should've told larry so he could've helped me. i didn't even bother to put on my prosthetic. i only cared about finding gizmo.

as i chased my own footsteps around the apartments, i encountered travis. a very tired looking travis. he walked around aimlessly, obviously trying to find something but not knowing where he was going.
"travis?"
he stopped, turning his head slowly and looking down at me with his tired eyes.
"hi sal. you forgot your prosthetic by the way."
he raised his finger as he spoke.
"huh? oh shit! uh- anyway, have you seen gizmo?"
he tilted his head to the side and clutched the blanket he for some reason had with him.
"who?"
"my cat!"
he shook his head and yawned.
"do you know where todd is?"
i pointed to room 202 that was behind him, and he nodded, thanking me.
"by the way do you need help finding your cat?"
i nodded quickly, starting to run around aimlessly again.
"what the fuck? calm down dude. we're going to find your cat."
i shook my head violently and jumped into the elevator, jamming my fingers onto the buttons.
"just breathe. it's okay. we're going to find.. gizmo."

travis thought of going to places i had never thought of. as he chased me around, his slippers fell off more than they should. seeing travis in slippers cheered me up more than they should've, even when i had no hope in finding gizmo. travis took me outside, under tables by the entrance of apartments, larry's treehouse, etc. we ended up finding him by a bush outside.
"gizmo!"
i cradled my cat, petting his round body and thick fur. travis awkwardly placed his hand on gizmos head.
"good cat."
he smiled awkwardly as he lifted the end of his blanket from off the ground. he lost his slippers twice more when walking inside. it made me laugh so much more after i had found gizmo.
"why were you going to see todd?"
"laramie is there. he went when i was asleep."
i nodded , raising my eyebrows.
"why do you call him laramie?"
he shrugged tiredly and got into the lift, pressing the number for the 2nd floor.
"i like it a lot. it suits him."
i hummed quietly and leaded travis into todd's apartment.

"what the hell? you lost gizmo, travis found him, and now travis is wearing my slippers?"
travis smiled nervously and looked down at his feet.
"sorry laramie."
he shrugged and patted the space beside him on the floor, presumably for travis. he sat beside him, awkwardly biting his lip and talking to larry in a whisper. they're dating. they're 100% dating.