dear diary (larvis)

dear diary - dream about me

(yes, this is a song reference)

larry
the way i decided to get travis' mind out of the gutter for atleast today, i offered to play his violin with him. he had brought it over ages ago, stuck it in my closet, and only brought it out again today. the last time travis had played was in that one music class, and i'm surprised he hadn't just forgotten how to play. he told me he had to play it at the church and in choir every week of his life since he was 6, so it's not as surprising.

he clutched the bow in his hand, pressing his cheek on the end and shutting his eyes. he paused for a moment, reopening his eyes and glancing down at me. i loved his eyelashes.
"uh.. i don't know what to play. or sing."
i smiled.
"play anything. and you don't have to sing if you don't want to."
it wasn't much input yet he took it anyway. he pressed his fingers onto the board, pushing his fingers onto the strings and gently pulling the bow across the strings. he didn't even need to tune it for the melody to sound beautiful.
"you're so good at this. i wish i could play the violin."
he smiled warmly and continued to play the instrument.
"we all have our own thing that we're good at love. like how you can play two different types of guitar. and how i can sing and play the violin. even though their very different they can go beautifully together."
travis rarely called me nicknames but it made me automatically go bright red when he did.
"just like us."
his eyes shut as he set the violin down for a second, resting the bow ontop.

"why did you stop?"
the redness from my face spread to my hands as he tugged himself closer to me.
"i never really thought about how different we are from eachother. the things you like are so different to me yet.. we still like eachother the most. that's something we really do have in common."
his whole body leaned back against me, temporarily startling me. travis was so light i barely knew he was there sometimes.
"why don't you play your pretty violin for me?"
i rested the tip of my finger against his nose. both of us were so red and flustered. especially me. it was always like that, as true love was so new to me.
"before you do.."
i cupped both of my hands under his arms and propped him onto my lap, my arm supporting his back and his feet resting on my knee.
"now you can."
i could see the reflection of my face in his dark brown eyes. one of his eyes was darker than the other, and leaned slightly inward. from upclose, i could see every individual freckle that blessed his upper half. i could see the scar coming from his upper lip and leading to his nostril. as he continued to play i traced my finger along his cupids bow.

his eyes shot open and he dropped the bow inbetween his legs.
"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to startle you."
i passed the bow back to him.
"are you okay?"
his face flushed red again.
"you scared me! i'm so nervous. i'm just um.. flustered. to say the least."
his eyelashes touched his under eyes as he positioned himself again.
"do you want to get off?"
i didn't hear a word from him, except for the feeling of his body pressed against my chest.
"i never told you but i wrote a song for you. it's so silly. but its about when.. we slept in the closet."

nobody's ever written anything for me before.
"i um.."
he stared to play his violin slowly, and high pitched. the twitching of his fingers and eyebrows told me he was nervous.
"don't be scared. i really want to hear it."
he took a deep breath before he began to sing to me, his head still resting on my shoulder.
"park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me,"
he repeated the short verse over and over again, quietly yet beautiful where only me and him could hear. even though he was quiet he still sung like the angel he was. halfway through him singing, a string on his violin snapped into two, making a high pitched squealing sound, along with his voice cracking and stopping abruptly. i swore he probably would've cried. along with the look on his face, making me feel instant pity for even reminding him he had his violin. if it wasn't for me this would've never happened.

"my violin.."
he held his violin tightly in his hands, discarding the bow and keeping his eyes heavily onto the broken string.
"hey don't look so sad. we can fix it at some point."
he crawled off of my lap and gently slotted his violin back into its case. when i thought he'd come back he just placed himself into the corner of the room.
"it's going to be okay travis. i'll buy you some new strings."
he nodded and kept himself tucked against the wall.
"come back onto the bed."
he didn't shift from that spot, apart from collapsing onto me and clinging to my left side.
"i know you love your violin sweetheart."
his face brightened a little.
"i'll fix it. don't be so sad. your song was beautiful. it means so much to me that you wrote it."
his body was curled up beside me, his feet tucked together and his fingers resting on his knees.

"i don't get why i keep sulking about stupid shit. i'm just feeling emotional for some reason. maybe i'm on my period."
he giggled and brung himself up using the side of the door.
"well, maybe. it's probably just your hormones. you're going to be 18 soon."
he shrugged.
"so are you. by the way, what would you like for your birthday?"
maybe now was the time to make a joke.
"i want you to be my husband."
as i smiled up at him, my eyes shifted down to his lips. some parts of his face told me he had taken it literally.