dear diary (larvis)

dear diary - vampire

larry
i don't like the way my hair falls over my face anymore. my bangs are getting too long and i'm overdue a haircut. i don't think i've ever been to a hairdresser, so it's not like i have to wait to get one. i've never had short hair either, so i don't cut my hair a lot.

every time i cut my hair it turns out uneven or botched, but that's mostly because i'm absolutely shit at hairdressing. it's not like i'm qualified.

i opened a few boxes of hair dye, clipping part of my hair up and squeezing a random colour of dye into the palm of my hands - a reddish brown lathered onto a small section of my hair. if i'm being honest, i had no idea what i was doing, and would most likely end up looking like a twat. strangely, i was completely sober doing this.

i repeated the process on different sections of my hair. although i thought dark red wouldn't be my colour, the colour actually turned out really nicely together, despite every section being a different color, or completely different shades.

i leaned my head over the sink, scrubbing my hair with the balls of my hands. i had left it on for long enough for the colour to last for atleast 2 months, some probably for longer.

i brushed my hair gently as i held the hairdryer above my head, the water droplets from the ends of my hair spraying onto my mirror. as i turned off the dryer, i hesitantly kept my head down, my blurred reflection in the tap.

for once, i loved my hair. the colour looked perfect and my bangs fell in the exact spot i wanted it. i knew everyone around me would absolutely hate it, but for once i actually did like something about myself.

"jesus! your hair!"
travis stood in the doorway, staring up at my hair with a blank expression. i hadn't heard the bathroom door open. i guess i never thought of who would hate it the most.

"oh yeah. it looks quite ugly, i know."
i didn't think it did.
"ugly? you look amazing! i love it!"
he ruffled his fingers through my hair, strands of my hair getting caught inbetween his fingers and bouncing back onto my head when he pulled his hands away.
"you look like.. a vampire. you look so cool."
he smiled brightly. i guess i never thought of who would love it the most.
"really?
as he smiled again, he turned to himself in the mirror.
"wow. how did i make you my boyfriend."
in my head it was the other way around. i could never see myself as being attractive.

"can you do my hair for me?"
i hummed, reaching for the scissors. i assumed he wanted it cut, since his hair was now long enough to touch his eyelids.
"how short?"
he shook his head, taking the scissors from me.
"can you make my hair curly? like yours? i have natural curly hair, maybe you can make them come back?"
i shrugged. probably, but i couldn't exactly be fucked to mess around with any more hair as the feeling of mine was becoming aggravating between my fingers.
"tomorrow, okay?"
he frowned but agreed, already halfway out the bathroom.

"kay. also mrs ugly long nails is here."
i squinted at him in confusion, but when i heard an annoyed shout from the hallway i knew who it was.
"hi ash. you aren't planning on staying are you? i'm so pissing tired."
she chortled at my vocabulary then tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. she had dyed it again. dark purple.
"no. don't worry, i won't be a burden today. but are you okay?"
although i was feeling pretty smart today, nothing in me could've figured out why she came here to ask me that.
"why?"
the doorway creaked as she leaned against it. travis and ashley made eye contact awkwardly throughout our conversation. they were both oddly close to me and i didn't know what to say.
"after what happened last night. you know.. latifa?"
i hated hearing that name.
"i'm fine. yeah. sorry if i ruined the night."
ashley placed her hands on my wrists. it's been a long time since she's done that, infact a long time since ive had any non-violent contact with ashley.
"you didn't ruin anything. i just wanted to check on you. bye bye now."
she turned to leave, her hand on the doorknob.
"i like your hair by the way. take care."
she hissed and bared her teeth as the door shut.

i stood, my body still facing the door even after she had left.
"are you okay? you haven't moved for a few minutes."
am i okay?
"you haven't either."
he hummed as he took a step closer to me and cupping his hands on my shoulders, as he usually did. except usually it was reassuring, this time it wasn't. i didn't want the touch from travis to become uncomfortable.
"you're acting off. you feeling okay? something on your mind?"
i don't know.
"i'm not too sure. i just feel different today."
i didn't know what to say. seemed he didn't either.
"come to bed. i get it's only early but you might feel better if you try sleeping."
he's probably right. i think i just need to sleep this feeling off.