Bad Habits ↠ Luke H.

8

[Charlotte]

"Charlie, I repeat myself, I can't help you, if you don't try." She sighed standing up from her seat and walking over to me. I was standing by her window, leaned up against the wall watching all the cars pass by. She's been wanting me to open up to her more but I haven't let her in. I don't think I'm ready to let someone in. I let Lucy in and I was pulled away from her and lied to. I don't know how it feels anymore to trust anyone.

"There's nothing to try." I shrugged keeping my eye contact on what's outside the window. There was this guy that passed by holding hands with a girl smiling and giggling. How can they be so happy? How can they attach themselves to someone that would leave or disappear soon? They don't belong to themselves anymore.

"Charlie?" She snapped me out of my thoughts. I was so into them I forgot she was talking. I usually toon everyone out. It's better that way for me.

"Did you here what I said?"

I shook my head.

"I'm going to prescribe you another med, so you'll be taking more than one now." She said walking over to her desk and looking threw this folder.

"Why?" I questioned. I don't think I needed more meds. I needed my life back again and if she can't give me that than I don't want anything.

"To help with your depression & stuff." She stated writing Something down.

"Don't I already have pills for that?" I questioned. I thought my other meds were to keep me stable.

"The other ones are to control your violent mood swings, that's why you haven't had any of those yet." She said still writing down on her papers.

"I never knew that." I said. "Oh my god, Lucy has been lying and keeping secrets from me! Like it's my body and my emotions that need to be controlled so I should know everything about me!" I snapped. I can't believe Lucy has been lying to me. I trusted her, the only one I trusted was lying to me. I didn't know I had violent mood swings till now. It was 95 days that I've had her and she kept things from me.

"Calm down." She said getting up and walking over to me. "That's why I'm here now, I'm being honest with you, and opening up to you, so you should do same with me."

Maybe I just have a bad habit of pushing away people that actually care and letting in the wrong people. That's why my trust is so bruised. But I'm still not ready to let anyone in after everything yet.

My therapy session was over now. I was waiting outside for Luke but no show again. I've stood here for already 15 minutes. 

I sighed already walking my way home. I kind of knew my way home by now. I just get confused on which street to turn on or go straight on.

It's funny how I actually thought he'd be here right now. I mean I knew I couldn't count on him but I guess I still hoped he would show up.

I was walking down this street and it didn't look familiar which meant I passed the block I was suppose to turn on or it's coming up soon. I just kept going straight.

I was just staring at the ground as I walked until I heard yelling coming from across the street. I turn up to see a guy yelling at another guy. Except that other guy was luke. It looked like they were ready to fight which was bad.

I hesitated for a second but then I found myself crossing the street to him.

Before the guy was ready to punch him I stood in front of Luke stopping him from swinging.

"Luke lets just walk away." I sighed pushing him back. I don't know why I'm doing this favor for him. He can't even pick me up and drive me home, I don't get why I helped him.