Bad Habits ↠ Luke H.

17

[Luke]

I took one last sip from my bottle as I made my way out the door again. This place was already getting really packed quickly and I didn't want another bruise to my collection. I hiccup throwing the bottle away and exit the door.

It's was only close to 7pm here and the bar was already getting packed. I wonder what occasion came up that everyone decided to get wasted tonight. I wasn't completely drunk but I still felt a little tipsy.

I groan walking home. I decided not to drive home today because one: I can't think straight and two: my mom didn't lend me her car. I guess she's on to what I be going at night but I really don't care. I don't need her to accept me.

I was interrupted from my thoughts when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I pull out my phone checking the caller ID and placing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I say softly, more quiet then I expected.

"Hey Luke." Bridgit says threw the other line.

"Hey babe." I say hiccuping again.

"I was wondering what you have planned on Saturday?" She asked.

"Yes." I say. "How about you and me on a date?" I question. Oh my what the fuck was wrong with me? This alcohol really fucks me up. I might have ruined me and her relationship. She didn't want to date me back then, then why would she want to date me now? I'm such a dork behind all those music videos and concerts. My heads racing with so many bad thoughts.

The line goes a little silent kind of making my heart race.

"Id love to." She says a cute giggle coming from the other side of the line. My nervousness turned into butterflies in my stomach. That sounds girly though. Fuck.

I screamed in the inside as I tried replying as cool as possible.

"See you then babe." I say.

We shortly after hang up as I arrive at the apartment building making my way up the elevator.

Once I reach the floor i trip over my foot stumbling a Little but I stand up tall still trying to brush that all off. I was interrupted when I heard Jonah call my name. I groan in the inside as I turn around to face him.

"Yeah?" I say rubbing my eyes which were hard to keep open.

"I was wondering if you can stay with charlie until I do something real quick?" He ask. I don't know why I had to watch charlie like a babysitter but at the same time I understand. I don't like to say it much but charlie has some problems and I get kind of nervous that she would try and do something crazy one day.

I wanted to say no but I find myself nodding and making my way the other direction. Jonah thanks me walking away as I walk into the apartment making my way to the kitchen because I was hungry. I go into the fridge grabbing a can of Mountain Dew and a bag of chips that were on the counter.

I make my way to the living room sitting down turning on the tv and making myself at home. I really didn't care about manners. It was all stupid to me. Well at least when I didn't use them.

Charlie pops up moments after a sad look on her face like if she was crying. I felt bad. She's my friend now and I always like to know what happens to her but she doesn't open up to me completely. Even if I told her I'd tried being a friend. My perspective of charlie has changed since the incident. I just having a feeling to not hurt her, I will only ruin her more. I guess I just want to find a way to make her happy again if that's possible.

I was feeling really happy in the confidence I had to ask Bridgit out. The old Luke would have never had to balls to do it but I guess I did and it makes me happy. But what if I don't please her right? Do I have to be suffisticated? Do I have to buy her flowers? Take her to a fancy restaurant? For some pizza? This is much harder than I thought but I push all those thoughts to the side when charlie starts talking.

"What are you doing here?" She ask walking over and sitting on the opposite side of the couch from me.

"Babysitting." I say stuffing some chips in my mouth. "These are good by the way."

"Babysitting?" She questions. "That fucking asshole has me followed everywhere and watched."

"He cares charlie." I say sighing and taking a sip of my Mountain Dew. I don't get why she can't see that all he wants to do is be there for her. Why is she pushing him away when he's all she has left. It doesn't make sense. She has her last brother here trying to work things out but she doesn't want to. What happened to them anyway?

"And when did you start caring about who cares about me?" She snaps getting up and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I just do." I simply say shrugging.

"Well you shouldn't, I don't need anyone." She says walking away from me.

"Yes you do." I say putting the bag of chips down and following her.

"What?" She says once im at the door of her room.

"You do need someone charlie, stop being so naive with everyone. I hate to admit it but Jonah is the last brother you have left. You should appreciate him more." I say calmly even though charlie is getting angry. I don't get why she's angry.

"I can't." Charlie shakes her head. "I don't want to explain and you wouldn't understand." She was ready to shut her door but I put my leg in the way stopping her.

"If you gave me a chance to understand maybe I can help! I'm trying to be a friend!" I groan. It's just on an on arguing with charlie. I don't know why I stick around but I always find myself in the same place. Charlie was all open to me like a week ago. Why is she so shut out now

"I don't need a friend!" She says in frustration throwing her hands in the air from the frustration and making me notice something. Back like a week ago charlie was ready to give me a chance and now she's blocking me out again.

I pause the arguing for a second grabbing her hand quickly and pulling up her sleeve noticing fresh new cuts on them. She quickly pulls her hand away pulling down her long sleeve and her face starts to turn red.

"I thought the pills were helping you with your depression." I say sounding more like a question. I was in completely shock seeing those there even though I knew she was depressed. It's leading to her hurting herself now. I'm trying my hardest to make things better for the good but they seem to get worse. Charlie never mentioned she cuts.

"I don't want to talk about this." She says walking away in her room but I stop her from shutting the door bursting in.

"Charlie what the hell." I say walking back up to her. "This isn't right. Your suppose to be getting better."

"Just please Luke leave it." She says softly pushing me back like she has no more strength.

"I can't charlie." I shake my head. "Stop closing off on me! I want to help!"

"I said leave it!" She yells her voice cracking.

She sits on the edge of her bed looking down at the ground not even doing eye contact I didn't know what to say anymore. This left me speechless. I don't want her to cut. That only leads to bad things. "Some books are just meant to be closed." She says.

"But I want to open it." I say.

"No you don't luke!" She groans her voice fading. "I'm just a damaged girl living in a world of lies, fears, and tears."