Bad Habits ↠ Luke H.

28

[charlotte]

This felt like a prison. But a prison that might help me. I've been seeing like 3 different therapist a day and attending group circles a lot. Which wasn't like me. I was forced to do all of that if I wanna get out of here in 2 months. But I'm finding myself opening up a bit in here. There's people with similar stories or even worse that are all trying to find a healing like me.

I have a room mate as they call it named Logan. He doesn't speak much. He just sits on the corner of his bed and stare out the window.

"Charlotte." My group leader says snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I prefer charlie." I say. I don't like my full name. It makes me feel like that spider book thing.

"Well charlie would you like to share?" She questions everyone turning there attention to me making my heart race a bit. Attention gives me anxiety. I never liked it to be honest.

"I don't know." I sigh.

"Cmon, we're all here to open up an get better." She says.

It takes me a moment before finally opening up and saying, "Well, it's going to almost be a year since I was in a car accident in New York, with my family, and I can't remember much of it, just the nightmares that I get or even flashbacks that I use to get, they were kind of an effect of the amnesia, and I was the only one that survived, I lost my mom, my dad, and my little brother Jude, I was hospitalized for a month or so and my as I call aunt, Jenni took me in when I had no one." I finish up. It felt weird to tell people my story. It kind of made me emotional since what Jenni's going threw right now. She doesn't deserve it because she's an amazing person. But the worst things in life always have to be the freest.

"Im sorry for you lost." She says a sympathy look on her face. "I bet Jenni can't wait to see you soon."

"I hope she gets enough time to." I mumble not wanting anyone to hear it but I guess they all did.

"What do you mean?" She questions.

I stare down at my lap trying to keep it together. I don't want to show these people my weakness. Because I'm here to get better not worse.

"She has cancer, and she's in New York and im in Australia, and im in here, and Jonah can't by my plane ticket even if he wanted to, so I'm screwed." I say quickly crossing my arms over my chest and sinking into my chair. Everyone stared at me just with a sympathetic looks which made me sick.

"Aw, charlie im so sorry." She says. "But I want you to know something, for motivation, the quicker you become better the quicker you can get out of here and get to see her. And if you can't find anyone to pay for your ticket, I will, just promise me you'll keep on fighting to get better." She says making me look up at her. She gave me a small smile and I did the same. She actually gave me a little hope. I just want to get out of here now. I need to get better. I need to for myself, or I'll never be able to carry on.

-

I go back to my room where the had our doors locked since it was already 7pm. I sigh sitting on the edge of my bed just drowning myself in my thoughts. I missed luke, I missed Jenni, and I even missed Jonah a bit.

"Your the girl who lost her family right?" Logan says startling me a bit. He never talked to me since I've gotten here. It kind of freaked me out.

"I don't like it when you refer to it like that." I say running my fingers threw my hair and rolling my eyes.

"Well it true." Logan says. "I can relate."

"How?" I question.

"I lost my family too." He says.