Bad Habits ↠ Luke H.

23

[Charlotte]

It been over two weeks since I started going back to therapy with Karen. I haven't been to the support groups because I know i don't need it. I wouldn't even speak in them.

I've been also having small talk with Jonah. I haven't fully let him in but I'm slowly finding a way to talk to him more. I've been thinking a lot lately about what Karen has said and im trying my best to break down these walls. I'm just scared that I get attached and the rug is ripped off under me.

I've also become close to Luke now more. It feels weird because before I couldn't stand Luke because he was a heartless man whore but now he's actually become one of my only friends.

I've been also feeling weird cause of when I've fallen asleep around luke and I get nightmares, I could never fall asleep quickly without staying awake for a couple hours. But when I'm with Luke it's like I can instantly fall back asleep because he's there. I feel protected. And I'm afraid that I might be getting too attached.

Maybe it's just cause I'm thinking of him like a brother to me. I could never have feelings for Luke that would be weird.

I was interrupted from my thoughts when Jonah walks into the living room.

"Hey." He says sitting on the other end of the couch and turning on the tv. Today was Saturday night and Jonah has the day off.

"Hi." I say yawning. I was actually quite tired but I'm afraid to go to sleep.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask playing with my fingers, breaking the silence.

"Shoot." Jonah says pulling down the volume of the tv and turning his attention to me.

"Why did you want me to come over here with you?" I ask after a moment of thinking. This was a question that was always in my head but never thought of saying since I've never pictured myself talking to Jonah but things are slowly changing.

"I don't know." Jonah shrugs. "I just, saw how bad it hurt to loose mom and dad and Jude, and when I saw that you survived, I needed to bring you with me. I didn't want to loose you too."

"But you never came around before." I say.

"I couldn't. I tried many times but mom would shut me out. She wouldn't let me come around." Jonah sighs.

"Why wouldn't she?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows. Why wouldn't my mom want Jonah around? He's her son.

"Because I chose to leave to Australia, and that day she told me, 'if you leave us, I don't want you to come back' so I didn't." Jonah sighs. "And it was the biggest mistake because I lost Jude and never got to tell him how much I loved him, but I have you, and I want you to know that I might of been gone, but I love you more than anything. Your my little sister, even if you hate me, I'm going to be here, I just wish you would give me a chance."

I stayed quiet for moment thinking everything threw. Karen always tells me 'appreciate what you have today, because you might now wake up with it tomorrow' and Jonah is the last person I have.

"I'm going to give you a chance Jo, but slowly." I finally manage to say.

"Aw you called me Jo, like you use too." Jonah says a smile brightening his face.

"Don't push it." I say making him laugh.

"Fair enough." He says, a knock at the door after stopping the conversation from going any farther.

I sigh yawning again, opening up the door and Luke walks in.

"Okay today's Bridgit's Halloween party and I don't know what the hell to do. What if I hit her with the door, or spill beer on her?" Luke mumbles not noticing that Jonah's siting on the couch. Once he stops rambling he notices Jonah stopping and turning red.