Memories | Sanjoong

46. Minefield

*
"These minefields that I walk through..."
...what I risk to be close to you"
*

"San get out of there!" Hongjoong shouted, feeling tears form from anxiety. He shuffles closer to the barbed fence, his legs trembling with each step he took closer.

However, San could barely hear him. The sound of his pounding heart was loud in his ears, and the gentle breeze left goosebumps on his body. With each careful step he took, San's thoughts swirled out of control.

"Please... San please come back!" Hongjoong cried, heart thumping in his chest as he watched San take several slow and deliberate steps.

With trembling hands, he rushed to get the safety flare out of his backpack. Hongjoong tried his best to control his panic-stricken breathing as he fumbled with the flare. He tore off the safety cap with his teeth, his fingers clammy with sweat. He took a shaky breath and held the flare away from himself, glancing at San again. Hongjong's fingers wrapped around the flare gun again as he tool a deep breath..

A sharp recoil kicked back into his arm as the flare shot up into the sky, slicing through the air in a streak of red fire. It erupted above the trees and flooded the sky with a bright red light.

Hongjoong's body trembled with anxiety as he looked up at the light, it was blinding yet mesmerising. For a split second everything stilled.

"Oh my god..." He whispered, trying to shake himself out of the trance as he glanced back at the smoking flare gun in his hands. Smoke coiled around him, thick and bitter, the smell of sulphur stinging his eyes.

He took a few stumbling steps and turned to look at San again, his voice breaking as he saw his half-shrouded figure partially illuminated by the flare's light.

San doesn't flinch at the loud sound of the flare erupting into the sky. The red light only casts an eerie glow over the restricted terrain. He is hardly aware of Hongjoong's voice, his pleading is muffled as though he's underwater. His body is frozen mid-step, one foot hovering above the grass ever so slightly as he sees a flurry of images flash through his mind.

Screwing his eyes shut, San takes a couple more steps forward. His head throbbed as he forced himself to remember whatever memory he could get out of this. San grunted in pain crouching down to touch the grass, his hand brushing over the blades of grass.

He opened his eyes and saw the bright light of the flare in the sky and then his vision starts to blur. Once again, San closed his eyes and when he opened them he was no longer in the dark and eerie landmine.

-

There he stood alone in the middle of the field - his field - the one that used to burst with golden daffodils. However now the bright yellow colour was gone and all that remained were the tall, wild blades of grass swaying gently in the breeze.

Seok sank to his knees in the middle of the overgrown field.

The emptiness stretched around him, vast and uncaring of his sorrow. The place that once felt like a safe haven now only echoed with absence... of colour... of joy... of Hongsik.

The argument replayed in his head over and over again like a cruel record stuck on the worst part. The words still rang sharp in his mind causing a tightness in his chest.

"If you have feelings for my brother, then you should go to him. Be happy with Hyunsik instead of me. If you choose to do it, then I wouldn't blame you at all."

Seok's fingers dug into the soil as if he could anchor himself against the rising tide of betrayal. How could Hongsik even suggest something like this?