Some Day One Day

31

I hope you guys know some of these are flashbacks

......................................

Minutes later Shawn and I were walking into the diner where most highschool kids usually hang out at and went to our destined area.
Shawn and I occupied our regular cream colored, Formica table, which was a surrounded by a maroon vinyl booth. It was situated at one far corner of the room that no one went to. I called it the corner of outsiders—and I liked being an outsider with Shawn.
After telling me what he wanted, I went to the front and placed our orders.
Once I made my order, I suddenly heard a chorus of greeting and turned to the source of sound. My ex boyfriend, Marcus, along with the rest of his crew had just bustled in through the front door. Just by the looks on their faces, I knew they were out to ruin someone else's fun and I hoped to it wouldn't be mine. I didn't feel like dealing with other people's mess today; not especially since Shawn wasn't in too much of a good mood. When he and his friends dragged their seats to fast girls table from school who always seemed to crave he and his boys' attention, I sighed with relief because I'd bought time not to be bothered.
Fortuitously, the lady had my order ready and I didn't have to keep standing there and looking over my shoulder in hopes that they wouldn't come and mar my day. Instead of using the money Shawn had given me, I used my own. I'd heard him rant on and on the entire week about running out of money because his mother hand stolen his money to procure the prescriptions she was despairingly addicted to. I couldn't argue with him for buying our game tickets but I wouldn't allow him to buy dinner too especially when I knew he was struggling and was the only breadwinner in the entire household. As I balanced my tray over to where Shawn was seated, I wondered how in heavens I was going to pull off giving him back his money without starting another altercation.
He'd been looking down at his intertwined arms but when he felt my presence and looked up, the sadness quickly washed away from his eyes like a storm clearing out. I'm not sure why but I felt something different for the first time in a while just from the way he looked at me. My heart skipped a beat and I became suddenly nervous. It had nothing to do with the sexual oppression I felt whenever I was with him. It was something deeper, something intangible...something deep inside of me that I wondered if I'd ever be able to grasp, visualize, or at least make some sense out of.
"Damn." Was all he said as I scooted beside him and pushed the tray so that both of us got an equal share to pick out of it.
"What?" I looked up at his warmly dancing dark eyes and smiled.
"You're beautiful." he said with a smirk as he leaned closer and I coyly turned away, unwrapping his shrouded burger for him first before mine. I'd never blushed so much in my life. I'd been called pretty countless times, but beautiful was a rarity.
A shiver went through me when I felt his warm breath against my jaw bone.
Shyly, I turned to him, marveling over his smooth, unblemished skin, "You are too."
"And you're mine," he kissed me again and I couldn't help but blush, not minding at all that he claimed me in that way. I loved it when Shawn got that way with me, when he let go of his inhibitions and told me whatever he desired.
"What made you say that?" I asked him shyly. Shawn shrugged and kissed me again, making me laugh.
Just as he was about to pull away, I held his face in my hands, drawing him closer to me for another breathtaking kiss. When he parted, the sound of us separated heightened the flame building in my gut.
"Fuck is wrong with you girl..." Shawn said with a laugh and I knew he meant that hazed expression I'd have on my face.
"Shut up," I quipped, picking up a fry and holding it at level with his mouth, "Here. I know you didn't eat lunch today."
Opening his mouth, Shawn trapped the fry in his teeth and bit into it before easing into his corner of the booth in a slouched position that always had this strange way of driving me wild.
"Mmm...you look so sexy when you eat." I said with playful seductiveness, throwing the other end of the fry Shawn had bitten into in my mouth. Shawn simply chuckled, resting his head against the plate glass window beside us. Grabbing the small carton of fries, I leaned against Shawn, eating meagerly on the fries.
"Baby I have a question." I said conversationally and looked over at him to see he hadn't touched his food. It made me frown.
"Shoot." Shawn said and I decided to put making him eat on the backburner for a while.
"What does it feel like when a guy's inside a girl?"
Shawn's brow furrowed first before he cracked one eye open, "What?"
I knew the question was unorthodox, but curiosity had been running rampant through me lately.
"You know...when a guy is inside of a girl. They say that's the greatest feeling in the world. I think it's overrated. Don't you?"
"Any guy who thinks being inside a girl is overrated is fucked up in the head." He mumbled, closing his eye once again.
I couldn't help sputtering out laughter.
"Baby! So you agree that it's the best feeling in the world?"
"Fuck yeah..." he muttered drowsily and for some reason I got so intensely turned on that I had to shift in my seat.
"So what does it feel like?" I asked, curiosity still poking at me.
Shawn smirked softly, never once opening his eyes, "Baby that's not something I can explain with words iight..."
"Okay." I consented with a small laugh of my own.
"But you can find out though." I heard him say optionally and turned to him inquiringly while chewing at my sinfully tasteful French fry.
"How..." I asked him suspiciously because he was smirking like he had a few tricks up his sleeve, and with his eyes no longer closed I could see a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"Iight so this is what you do. Get one of your friends. Imma rent the hotel room. You know that video camera you said you got last year? Well you bring it over too. And so you and this girl get on the bed righ? And you two start kissin' and touchin. And then you slip your finger into her and find out what it feels...while I tape the whole thing—"
"Corey!" I punched him on his arm, only to feel the hardness of his flesh. Lately whenever Shawn did or said something outrageous, I'd end up spitting out that name. It had started a few weeks ago when something had rolled under the table in the library and Shawn had claimed to have seen it, so he told me to bend over and get it. Trusting him fully, I had but I didn't find anything. When I'd looked up at him frustratingly, he'd told me with a smirk 'You look damn good in that thong ma' and I'd ended up yelling at him in his middle name.
"You try to act all innocent but I'm not buying all of that mess. You like sneaking up on people."
"I don't try to act innocent," Shawn defied, still smirking unapologetically, "I just hide my thoughts better than most."
"Shut up. Don't tell me that nasty nonsense ever again."
"You asked me what it feels like. I was only advising you the best way you could find out—"
"Shut up." I chided him and I turned away from him to hide my embarrassed blush while he laughed from behind me.
I suddenly felt a strong pair of hands lifting me up and pulling me backwards. Amidst the slight commotion I figured out that Shawn was trying to have me sit across his lap with my back aligned against the window.
Blushing, I snuggled closer to him but when I accidentally looked up, I realized then that all Marcus had to do was lift his head and see me. I didn't want him coming here and ruining the wonderful moment so I shifted forwards, looking for a comfortable spot, only to feel something solid and bulging, probing through my jeans where my thighs met. Both Shawn and I froze but while I sucked in a sharp breath, Shawn let out a low groan that was sexy enough to make me melt right on top of him.
"I'm so sorry!" I apologized in horror, the electric spark of feeling him shooting trough me spasmodically.
"Babygirl...fuck...you might," he began in a thoroughly strained voice, "You might...wanna...uh...move...from there..."
Shawn's hands were planted on my waistline, already navigating me to his liking. But upon doing so, I felt his hardness stroking my soft flesh once again, with more of an effect now than before. It was so sensitive down there that I couldn't help the light whimper that drifted from my lips and when Shawn groaned a vile curse word under his breath, I felt delicious tingles from the back of my neck, sizzling down to my womanhood where the tingles lingered. He finally moved me further away from his pelvic area and completely on his thigh.
Both Shawn and I stared at each other with nebulous expressions, our chests heaving as we both caught our breath.
Lately the sexual energy I felt from Shawn was so mightily strong I thought I had a problem. Although Angie told me it was normal, I didn't think so. With all my other boyfriends, I'd wanted to explore that side of the world all because it seemed exciting. But with Shawn there was not only excitement and anticipation, but there was a burning passion that made me dream about exploring every part of his body. I wanted to take him all in, know him to the point where it was ingrained in my mind like a mechanically built-in memory.
We did come close, so many damn times, but Shawn would back out, stating that he wanted it to be special. To him he thought special for me meant candles and an embellished bed with rose petals sprinkled on top—even though that truly wasn't his style and I knew it by the way I sneaked up on him and heard him talking with his friends. Still, the fact that he cared enough to want it to be special for me always got me so overtly emotional. I wanted to tell him that the place or the time we did it didn't matter to me.
He was the only thing I needed for it to be not only special, but perfect was him.
Damn. If my mother knew the thoughts I was harboring, she would lock me in the house and have me home schooled for the rest of my life. My parents were yet to meet Shawn. Everytime I brought it up, he'd get defensive and ask me why when they probably already wouldn't approve of him when they didn't like him. I tried arguing with him even though I knew what he said was somewhat true. My parents still tried to introduce me to boys that 'they' approved of and none of them were anything like Shawn. It still surprised me though how Shawn was always set on thinking everyone judged him when he judged people constantly. I think he used that as a defense mechanism to ready him for disappointment from others because in his own words, 'that was all he ever got from others'.
"Umm...," I cleared my throat and tore my eyes away from his when staring got too intense, "Are you gonna eat hun?"
"Yeah. I will in a min'." he said, leaning back to his fetal position. His voice was rough and bleary, and I didn't know whether it was from exhaustion or the eroticism that had just sparked up between us two.
Sometimes Shawn progressed so deep in his thoughts of worrying about how he was going to pay the next bills or finish the next assignment or whether his results for the SATs were good enough or worrying tooth and Nail about Marissa and the rest of his family that he forgot to take care of himself.
Rotating slightly, but making sure I didn't make contact with the one thing that still had my womanhood throbbing achingly, I saw that Shawn had his eyes closed and frowned. I remember when he never worked two jobs, he'd still have energy to go out to parties until four in the morning or just wild out with some of his friends. Now he was always exhausted and I pitied him.
"Baby..." I called out to him softly, rubbing his cheek all because I was obsessed with doing that. I loved the rugged, coarseness against my palm.
"Yes..." his eyelids opened thinly.
"Eat something. Knowing you, you'll be too tired to eat. And the reason why you're always tired is because you barely eat cause you're always forgetting to."
Shawn grumbled something incoherent to me while he shifted. When I asked him to repeat himself, he wouldn't.
Picking out one fry from the carton, I drenched it in ketchup and held it close to Shawn's mouth.
"Here you go babe," I goaded him softly, "Eat something. I know you haven't eaten all day and you need something."
Once again, Shawn bit halfway into the fry and I ate the other half.
"Tastes good don't it?" I asked him, not intending to come of sultry but failing staggeringly. Upon my question, Shawn took a hold of my hand, his thumb stroking my palm, and neared it to his mouth. My breaths quickened and I watched agilely as his dainty tongue darted out and flicked over the salty coated digits of my fingers. Heat washed through me, nearly consuming me, and I bit my lip as the sensations went through.
"I know you probably taste better...much better..." Shawn murmured, his teeth now scraping at the tip of my index finger. I knew he wasn't talking about French fries and the thought nearly made me swoon. As Shawn nibbled on me, the side of his head was bumping against the softness of my breast, which began to hurt at the center where my nipple was.
"Shawn..." I whispered in harsh breaths, darting my eyes around the diner to watch if anyone had seen us. A couple of girls who always stared at Shawn at one table had, and my cheeks began flushing with embarrassment.
"Baby stop..." I cried out softly.
Before I knew it, Shawn eddied my entire finger into his hot wet mouth he'd began sucking on it with gentle pulls. My stomach tightened and commuted all at once, thus, making me squirm until my derrière was seated in between the open 'v' of his thighs. At least seated like that nobody could see me.
When Shawn eased my finger out of his mouth, I was completely out of breath. He smirked at me before leaning forward until his lips were brushing teasingly against my earlobe.
"It's something like that..." he whispered raggedly into my ear and I shivered as his warm breaths entered me.
"What is...?" I asked in a softly shaken voice.
Shawn nibbled on my jawbone before answering gruffly, "When I'm inside..."
I gasped at the surprise of Shawn talking like this, liking it in every way possible. Smiling demurely, I shifted slightly and Shawn realized that I wanted to look at him so he leaned backwards.
"Somethin' like that?" I asked in a whisper with a smile.
"Yeah somethin' like that..." he clarified with a smirk that made me so wet it was insane. Leaning forward, I kissed him, flicking my tongue over his full lips and enjoying the saline taste of them. Shawn moaned against my lips, making the fine hairs on the back of my neck spring up.
"You taste good too." I told him with a smile and he returned it with a faint smirk.
Our little petting seemed to have given Shawn much more energy than before because he was suddenly ready to eat. Reluctantly, I moved from atop him and sat beside him. We ate for a while, laughing and joking. I was glad that he was no longer upset and that his spirits were higher than before.
It felt so good to be around him, and he felt so warm. I couldn't remember the last time I was this happy just to sit around with someone and talk with them normally. It felt damn good.
In a matter of time I had this dire need to go to the restroom, so I excused myself and left. The restroom was right by where we sat so it didn't take me long to reach. I made sure my lip gloss was reapplied and that my hair looked okay. As I came out, habitually rubbing my hands on my hips, I stopped in my tracks when I heard some familiar voices streaming from the table where Shawn and I had been seated. I stopped right by the wall and peeped two of Shawn's friends. Both of them had dropped out of school not too long ago and it seemed like they were trying to influence Shawn in every way possible. I didn't like all his friends mainly because Shawn wasn't like them. Unlike them, he cared about his education and didn't go around breaking the law just because he wanted to build such a reputation or because he was set on letting the world know how angry he was. Although he told me those were his boys and that they'd always had his back since he first came, he just wasn't like them and everytime I told him that he would misconstrue my intentions and think I said that simply because I didn't like them.
There were times when I felt that he was dangerously close to succumbing to their ways of making quick and easy money. The way they kept on tempting him always nagged and worried me. They obviously thought he would be a promising commodity to their horde.
"I'm just sayin', you wastin' your time workin' all these odd jobs. You work all the damn time and you ain' even makin' enough for all the time you put in." one of his friends, the pudgy, frumpy one with a darker pigment of skin told him. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was talking about.
"Real talk son. Think about it. You get in with Don, in one day you'll be makin' what you barely make in one month." The lightskinned one with the braids interjected.
Shawn shifted and sighed heavily, still keeping his eyes downcast as his fingers idly tinkered and tore the wrapping paper from the burger.
"I ain' tryna get into that type of shit yo... " Shawn told the boys slowly, picking at his words carefully. I frowned, hoping that the peer pressure wouldn't get to him. I know it sounded so appealing, especially considering Shawn's situation, but I hoped he wouldn't give in.
Both of the boys grumbled and groaned in both irritation and frustration.
"It's cause of shawty right?" the bulky one asked with a sinister smirk.
Shawn finally brought his head up, "Huh?"
"Man. You were about to get into this shit before ya'll hooked up. Why are you with her saditty ass anyway—"
"Don't push it nig'..." Shawn said in a surprisingly calm tone, but the underlying warning was still decipherable. I couldn't see his eyes but by the reaction on his friend's face, I knew that he meant business.
It wasn't surprising to hear Shawn's friends talk about me this way. The way they looked at me whenever I came around was enough.
"Dawg, take it from a friend those kind of girls go fast than they come, they don't stick around with guys like us for long." The pudgy one said and I reflexively scrunched my features.
"They all for the ride, but as soon as your shit breaks down, they gone" the lanky one intervened.
Shawn nodded indifferently, shifting back into the booth. I also caught a glimpse of his strong hand clenching into a tight fist as his friends talked.
"I'll take my chances." He told them with finality and I felt my heart sing. One of his friends snickered.
"She gave it up right? She must have. She got yo ass whipped—" the one with braids said, only to be interrupted by his friend.
"What happened to you and Stacey anyway?" the big one asked.
"Stacey?" Shawn sounded clearly confused.
"Ol' girl was feelin' you and you just ditched her for Beyonce's boushee ass—"
"Ya'll might as well leave if you're gonna keep disrespecting my girl in my face and expect me to just sit here and do nothin' about it." Shawn's voice leveled, but the threat in them was clear.
His friends suddenly quieted down.
"Iight then imma bounce. Give it some more thought iight?" the frumpy one still insisted.
"I told you," the patience in Shawn was thinning out and it was evident in the way he spoke, "I ain' tryna get into that kind of shit."
"Oh, oh I know what it is. It's this college shit you been talkin' about lately. You still think your ass will make it to college?" he asked Shawn scoffingly and even I got offended by the question.
Then he suddenly leaned forward as if releasing confidential information.
"Come on now Shawn. At the end of the day, you just a nigga like the rest of us. Even if you do get to college, you ain' gonna be makin' it the way I know you can on these streets. You a smart cat. We need someone with your brains. Think about it dawg...think about helpin' yah moms, lacin' out yah girl...yo lil sis. You need this."
Shawn's head was turned towards the window.
He never gave his friend a response.
"Aye I'm about to go order my shit—" The light one with braids stopped himself when he got up and saw me standing at the threshold that led to the corridor where the restrooms were.
His friend, along with Shawn turned to look at me. Shawn frowned a little bit.
Immediately, Shawn's other friend got up, having the nerve to grin at me.
"Sup Beyonce." The fat one greeted me.
"Hey." Was all I was able to say.
"Iight son imma get at you later." The big one said and soon he and his friend said bid Shawn goodbye before they both left.
Trying not to roll my eyes, I walked up to the table and sat across Shawn.
For a long time it was silent. I kept my eyes averted, feeling him watch my every move.
"Sup with you?" he finally asked.
"Nothing."
"Something's got to be wrong."
I didn't say anything.
"Don't worry about them iight." His sudden words brought my eyes up to his.
Our eyes locked and held, and when the corner of Shawn's lip curled into a small smile and his eyes warmed, I couldn't help but smile back.
Pulling his jacket more firmly over my chest, I slid to the edge of the booth.
"Do you want any dessert?" I asked him as I stood up and he licked his lips while openly scoping my body. My cheeks felt hot from his smoldering eyes and my knees got weak.
"Nah I'm good," He said as he made to get up, "What kind do you want?"
"No it's fine," I waved him off and started walking off, "I'll get it on my own babe thanks."
I made my way to the front to place my order.
Moments later I was returning with a chocolate sundae topped with a cherry on top. I felt so guilty about having all this reputably unhealthy food but it had been so long since I'd had anything as ravishing as this. On my way back to the table, someone stepped up in front of me, suddenly blocking my path. When I clarified who it was, I grimaced and rolled my eyes.
"If it isn't the sexiest girl in highschool. I hear you got your pretty face blown up at the mall." He grinned as if trying to be friendly, but I didn't buy it.
All I did was stare at him.
"Don't look so happy to see me." Marcus sneered at me, shoving his hands into the pockets of his varsity jacket, the one I used to wear about a year ago. His hazel eyes glistened and his straight white teeth beamed back at me.
Sighing heavily, I discreetly ignored him and rounded him. Thankfully he made no attempts to stop me.
When I got to the table, I saw that Shawn still had his eye along the path I'd just taken. I already knew who he was looking at and when I turned around briefly to find Marcus smirking at us with one of his friends, I gritted my teeth in irritation, hoping against all hope that they wouldn't come here.
Turning away from them, I pushed a plastic spoon over to Shawn's side of the table.
"I brought an extra spoon in case you wanted some—"
"Hey there. If it isn't my favorite couple of the week." Marcus boisterously said and when I turned to look, he sauntering his way over to our table, interrupting both Shawn and I. Shawn, who was sitting more on his spine than anything else in his sluggard position had his head against the windowpane, his elbow against the table with his hand pensively on his chin.
"Sup Shawn? What it do?" Marcus said to him with an uncanny smirk that made me sick to my stomach.
When Shawn didn't answer, Marcus twisted his lips sarcastically before switching his gaze to me.
"So what have you been up to? You just ditched all your all friends so suddenly—"
"Marcus can you just leave us alone please?" I spat, unable to hold my cool any longer.
Marcus sarcastically raised his hands in surrender as he backed up. One of his friends stood a few feet away from the table, overlooking us with a bullying eye.
"My bad. Didn't know I wasn't allowed to speak to you anymore. I just wanted to say hi since we used to be close...so damn close..."
I shifted uncomfortably and stole a glance at Shawn. The look on his face made a trickle of commove down my spine. Although his eyes were slanted towards the table, I could see and feel the vexation that was haunting him in heavy waves. His eyes were cold and hard, irate and bothered.
Marcus suddenly leaned forward, plucking the cherry that topped my sundae. This time, Shawn's eyes followed Marcus's movements in perplexity.
Lifting the rotund, ripe cherry to his lips, Marcus flicked his tongue lewdly around it before capturing it in his teeth and yanking the stem off. After eating it all up, he smirked at me lasciviously before switching his mischievous gaze to Shawn.
He spoke in a menacing, derogating slur.
"It was always a pleasure poppin' Beyonce's cherry first."
The first thing I heard was a deep, aggravated growl and at first I didn't know where it came from. Before I could even gasp at the disrespectful way Marcus had regarded me, Shawn had lunged out of the booth with lightning speed. In the blink of an eye he had grabbed Marcus's shirtfront and thrashed him on a table, knocking down all the condiments strategically placed on the table. Not giving Marcus or anyone else time to contemplate and absorb what was going on, Shawn vigilantly vellicated him off of the table, handling him as though he were as light as a feather. Hissing curse words that remained acidic to my ears, Shawn then hauled him roughly to the nearest wall where he plastered him with so much vehemence for a moment I thought Marcus's neck snapped.
"Let me hear you say that shit again dawg." Shawn growled at him through tightly clenched teeth, his breaths labored. To me, and I'm sure everyone else, he looked so heartlessly formidable that even I got scared. A slew of muscles worked along his jaw, only cementing that he was truly tenacious about letting Marcus know how upset he'd made him.
Marcus's eyes were wild with so much unmistakably fear that he appeared comical. He tried to hide it but it wasn't fooling any one of us.
On wobbly feet, I got up from my seat to try and tell him that all of this wasn't worth it when at the same moment two of the friends who'd previously sat with him came to his aid. I turned to look at Marcus's crew, only for my eyes to widen. It appalled me how his friends kept themselves at bay. None of them gave off the impression that they were going to come to his aid soon. In fact they all looked like they were about to bolt.
Shawn laughed although it was crystal clear that nothing was funny, shaking his head mirthlessly as he caught more than a handful of Marcus's shirt and banged him against the wall once again, pushing him up until his eyes met at level with Shawn's. Instinctually I looked at Marcus's feet only to be appalled that his feet were suspended from the ground, wiggling nervously.
That's when one of his friends put a hazardous hand on his shoulder. They too seemed shocked by his outburst. Now Shawn had gotten into scrimmages before, a few I'd even witnessed, but no matter how many times people saw him fight, they were always surprised and even amazed because he was always known to be a composed character no matter the situation. One had to really step over the line to experience the wrath of his fury.
"Chill son," Marcus squeaked, placing his shaky hands on Shawn's wrist and unavailingly trying to push him away "I was just joking—"
Shawn slammed him on the wall yet again and this time Marcus's features twisted when he winced in pain.
"Do I look like a fuckin' clown to joke with?! Huh?! Try that shit again," Shawn thrashed him yet again, eyes intense and smoldering, voice hard and gravelly, "I fuckin' dare you, you little bitch say that shit again to see if I'm trippin' nigga."
My heart was beating so rapidly that I became slightly dizzy. I glanced around me hoping that the manager wouldn't come in or even worse, security. This was an upper scale part of the neighborhood where very little ever went down and if even the slightest thing happened, it was magnified tenfold.
"Shawn." I called out to him imploringly, but he never accommodated me.
"Come on dawg, chill," Shawn's friend with the braids pulled on his shoulder, "She ain' worth all this shit."
The words were like a slap in the face and I bit my lip in hurt. Shawn immediately tensed and swung his affronted face to his friend, his eyes squinting as if questioning if he'd lost his damn mind to say something like that. There was even a sense of betrayal colored in his eyes as he glared at him.
Giving Marcus one last threatening look, he uncurled his fingers from their prison hold on him. Marcus nearly slid down to the floor like the weakling he was, barely able to balance himself on the wall. I saw him nearly retaliate to Shawn from the way he scowled at him, but he sized him up and backed down, opting to just straighten his shirt.
"Man fuck ya'll." Shawn murmured angrily before looking at me and frowning a little bit. I didn't know what to do. I'd frozen into place and I couldn't move. I was just appalled by all the unnecessary angst and judgment.
Without another word, Shawn weaved passed his friend, grabbed my hand and started leading me out of the diner as if he somehow knew that I wasn't able to move on my own. All pairs of eyes were gravitated towards us as if we were a force to be reckoned with. It was painfully quiet, the only source of sound the sixties lullabies streaming from the hidden speakers.
Right before we got to the door, we heard Marcus spurting threats veiled from embarrassment and fear.
"Imma kill you nigga! Do you know who the fuck I am?! Do you know the people I know? Imma get yo ass!" Marcus screamed at him like a little boy who only knew how to face fear from a distance. Shawn let go of my hand, heswiftly turned around with flaring nostrils and eyes hot enough to burn the walls of this diner along with the people in it. When he made attempts to start charging back at Marcus but I put my hands on him his stomach pushed haltingly.
"Shawn let's just go. Please." I pleaded. When Shawn continued to look passed me , I turned around to find that Marcus had quelled down because Shawn's 'friends' were stepping up to him threateningly. Grabbing a hold of Shawn's hand, I pulled him with me until we were out into the blistering night air.
Quietly, Shawn opened for me the car door to the passenger's seat. It was no doubt that he was angry. The way he moved. The way he remained tightlipped. The way his dark brows drew together over his extremely livid eyes. The labored breaths he breathed. Even the way he drove; he was speeding, road rage compromising his usually calm demeanor.
When we started driving and I saw that he was going in the direction of my home, I shrunk further into my chair as if wanting to become one with it.
"I don't want to go home." I found the courage to tell him, although my voice was diminutive and light because of fear of what he would say in response.
Not giving me a verbal answer, Shawn started to alter his directions away from home. Even as mad as he was, I found myself sighing in relief. For some reason, I didn't want to leave him that night.
Not yet.
Before long, Shawn and I were at our spot.
Not saying a word, Shawn exited the car, slamming the door with so much fervor that the entire car wobbled. He stood in front of the hood of the car before leaning on it with his hands in pockets. As a soft breeze passed through, ruffling his shirt, I realized how rigid and tense his posture was. He seemed so unmoved by anything at that point that my heart plummeted.
Sighing exhaustedly, I reposed my head on the headrest and closed my eyes. This wasn't the first time we'd gone through something like this and I knew he was just as fed up with all of it as I was.
After a while, I realized how chilly it was in the car and presumed how cold Shawn must have been out there. Reaching into the backseat with a stretching arm, I grabbed my jacket from it. Discarding myself of Shawn's jacket, I slipped into my own.
Sighing resignedly, I stepped out of the car with Shawn's jacket in hand and joined him at the hood. He didn't flinch nor turn to look at me when he heard me approach him.
I took in his side profile: quiet, thoughtful, and immensely tired...

"Baby, wear your jacket. It's really cold tonight. I don't want you getting sick." I said to him, hoping against all hope that he wouldn't deny me.
To my surprise, Shawn took it and donned it without argument. I had a feeling he did it only because he didn't feel like getting into it with me. As he wore it, I sat on the hood of the car, resting my feet on the bumper. When he was resuming his fetal position, I caught a hold of his forearm and pulled him towards me. Shooting me a confused look, Shawn yielded nonetheless and I pulled him gently to me until he was his back was situated snugly in-between the concave of my thighs.
He was still tense, but that didn't deter me. Sleekly I slid my hands underneath his arms all the way around his navel and pulled him until he slanted more beside me. Slowly, like layers that wore off one by one, Shawn relaxed and I was surprised when he partially rested himself on me. He felt hard, muscular, and just all male even when he was resting languidly. Brushing my hand over his hairline, I pushed away the destructing hood and nuzzled his neck before burying my face in it and inhaling the heady scent of him. At one point, Shawn rested his cheek against the crown of my head and at that moment, my heart was flooded with this emotion that made my toes curl.
We stayed like this for a long time. Quiet. Thoughtful. Unbothered by the world's invasion.
Even when I moved my head, Shawn still kept his head close to mine. Our temples, ears, cheeks were pressed firmly against each other's. I started to slowly move my hand in a hypnotic motion over his stable stomach.
After nuzzling him again and kissing him softly on his ear, I focused on what he was sightlessly gazing at.
The fulgent lights of the city winked at us enthrallingly, yet we felt so cast out from it. We were rebels without much of our doing, set apart from everything else by unethical force. The industrious skyscrapers soared into the starry dotted, slated blue skies that acted as gates towards the heavens. The moon was full, filled with so much promise, its omnipresence unable to be ignored. The lake that was known to be murky and stagnant appeared flawlessly soothing that night, reflecting the city, moon and stars with light ripples that the wind brew.
The world was picturesque that night. It was beautiful and ready for the taking.
Tightening my hold around Shawn's waist, I nuzzled him before speaking softly into his ear.
"You deserve it. All of it."
Shawn inched away so that he could look at me. I hoped he knew what I meant.
There was something about Shawn that always made me believe that he would make something of himself one day. That's what set him apart so strikingly from his friends. Sometimes they tried to discourage him not because they had his best interests at heart, but because of jealousy. They weren't as smart as he was and sometimes Shawn just easily retained information without having to try too hard most of the time. Some of his friends even detested him for something he had no control over; his preternatural good looks and how it gleaned him insurmountable attention from females. They were mad because they knew that he had potential a future as opposed to the rest of them.
I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to apologize to them for being who he was.
He deserved all the greatness, all the goodness of the world and I had never felt that way about anyone in my life.
No one.
When Shawn turned and stood tall in front of me, I grabbed his shirtfront and pulled him towards me.
The thoughtfulness on Shawn's face made the beating of my heart loud and alarming enough for me not to hear what was happening around us for a few passing moments. When I stared into the depth of his intensely shimmering eyes, everything around me was engulfed by darkness.
Something happened to me that night. I don't know what it was, but I felt different.
Just by looking at him. It made me feel...different.
I parted my lips to ask him what was on his mind and why he stared at me the way he did, but my throat was suddenly closed and it was hard for me to speak.
Wetting my lips nervously, I lowered my eyes to his lips. Lifting my hand, I touched his cheek and rubbed the course skin of his chin with my thumb.
"What are you thinking?" I asked him in a whisper as quiet as the wind's. I know he barely heard me. It was hard to speak with the way my heart beat so irregularly. He must have read it on my lips.
Shawn's luscious, full lips lifted in an indolent smirk. He was looking deeply into my eyes with his passionately burning ones.
"Wondering what you're thinking." He said quietly. My lips parted when the shockwaves hit me.
Like many times before, we were thinking the same thing. It freaked me out sometimes, but at the same time, it confirmed for me that I truly wasn't alone.
Shawn licked his lips and shifted closer to me, his thighs brushing my inner thighs. I might as well have been welded into my jeans because they were extremely tight and I could feel the heat that radiated from him without question. Biting my lip to prevent me from grinning too widely at the massively great, exciting feeling he gave me, my hand left his law and I circled my arms around his waist, drawing him closer...closer until nothing could separate us.
"Shawn I...I want you..." I murmured softly, meaning every single word that drifted from my mouth. It almost hurt to say what I did, I don't know why though.
Maybe it was because I still couldn't believe that he was with me...for me.
A burning desire suddenly lit up in Shawn's features. He bit his lip as if trying to contain something that might just explode if he didn't practice self-control long enough.
If only he knew that I felt the same way. Maybe even more than he.
With a hand that shook but remained undeterred nonetheless, I reached for the tag for the zipper of the jacket, which I'd given to him as a gift. Shawn held my eyes suspiciously all the while I slid the zip down until his jacket was slit apart. It was like I was peeling the first layer he used to protect himself off.
Releasing his bottom lip from confinement, Shawn lowered his head towards me, looking handsome as ever with the hood over his head shadowing every inch of his face except for the eyes that shimmered brilliantly like furnaces of writhing fire.
Darting my tongue out to moisten my lips nervously at what I was doing, I reached for the hem of his shirt, never once taking my eyes off of him. Slowly, unsurely but...curiously, I began to lift up his shirt, only for Shawn's hand to come on top of mine and push it back down slowly before holding it in his hand.
A small frown of disappointment came over me.
"Baby..." I sighed pleadingly, feeling him take both of my forearms into his hands.
His course fingers glided up to my wrist, stirring the faint hairs of my skin and making them stand up. My toes curled to his touch and I felt something great within me. If it had an image, it was something that sparkled. If it had a sound, it would be something short of a sweet melody...
It was the greatest feeling in the world...and all he had done was touch me...
Shyly, I smiled, lowering my eyes from his to our hands and bit my lip.
His fingers traveled languidly up my palms before they danced with my fingers, tickled them a trifle before intertwining with them. It felt like he was accepting me, but not quite because slight hesitance rode his handsome face.
Still, the joining of our hands was almost as symbolic as him asking me what he asked me next.
"This what you want?"
I wanted it more than anything in my life at that moment and time.
All I could do was nod silently. 

Our eyes locked and held for long, unspoken moments. The reflection of the moon filled up the expanse of his lambent dark eyes. His tongue sailed over his bottom lip as he lifted his hand and caressed my cheek with his gruff knuckles before cupping my jaw with his fingers. He added slight pressure to my tongue and began rubbing sensually with a lustrous look in his eyes. Like a hypnotic drug was spreading throughout my body, my head felt suddenly light back and my eyes fluttered closed at the sensations he spiraled into me. A restricted moan fled up my throat and my lips parted thinly to let the sound out of my body. Shawn then used the plane of his thumb to part my lips farther apart. His thumb flicked over my teeth before prying the bottom and top apart with ease.
His hands now planted securely on my waist, drew me forward until the open doors of my thighs were closed around him.
He fit me perfectly.
Our lips touched, and my mind fled from me the way it always did whenever he blessed me with his one of a kind kisses. The kiss was as delicate as the gentle breeze that stirred the air.
He tilted his head and added more pressure to me. Our lips melded and unified. He then used his lips to encase mine in his, massaging and sucking them. He even did me the luxury of nibbling them and if heaven had a sound, his low groan was it. My heart stopped beating when his hot tongue slid across my lips, and my heart began racing when his tongue made its way agilely into my mouth. As we kissed softly and lovingly, my trembling fingers trailed up his arms until they closed around his neck. 

"Are you sure you want it like this..." Shawn asked me with a husky, lascivious voice while petting me with light kisses. Lord I love the way he did that. Almost like he was nurturing me...taking care of me...
"Yes Shawn..." I breathed out with a sigh.
When he hesitated and continued to stare down at me for any signs of mendacity, I literally felt the locket around my heart unlock, making me speak the words that came out of me without much of my control.
Shawn's starry eyes suddenly lifted and I followed them to the tall building of the hotel that wasn't too far off.
When I looked back at him, I knew the look in his eyes.
That was the night he was going to officially claim me as his.