Some Day One Day

36

The sun was a large golden ball of fire retreating behind the hills of the suburban neighborhood, spreading its honeyed glow all over the place like a beautifully illustrated oil painting before my eyes. For a long time I sat in the car and stared at the house emotionlessly. I think I was too tired to feel anything and I dreaded what lay ahead of me. This time if Shawn tried to get on my bad side I wouldn't back down from telling him I wouldn't tolerate it any longer.
After a while, I finally braced myself, grabbed my purse, and walked up to Shawn's doorstep with a nervous gait. I averted my gaze between the doorbell and the large, embellished mahogany door itself, wondering if it would be better to knock or ring the bell. Then I realized that I was being idiotic and just rang the doorbell.
My heart thumped with a nervous rhythm as I stood there, clutching on to my purse. It was only when I let go of my purse to tuck behind some nervous strands of hair behind my ear that I realized how damp my palms were from the cold sweat I'd broken into.
"It's Beyonce!" I heard Marissa chime and sighed a sigh of relief, grateful that it wasn't Shawn who was answering the door.
When Marissa's cheerfully bright face came into play, I found myself smiling as if some power had taken over me. The sadness I'd felt before started to weather away like leaves in fall.
"Hi hun." I greeted her.
"Hi!" without giving me a formal type of indication, Marissa grabbed my hand and guided me through the threshold into Shawn's abode as though it were her own.
When I stepped inside, Shawn stepped out of the kitchen's vestibule. His gear was that of a person who was either heading to the gym or leaving it. It consisted of a white wifebeater with navy blue basketball shorts and white tennis shoes. In his hand was a bottle of water and looped over his shoulders was a starkly white towel. He eyed me with an authoritative stare that I returned just as possessively as I stepped in.
"Good afternoon Shawn." I said to him in an obligatory way. Shawn snickered at me, never taking his eyes off as he took a meager sip from his bottle.
"Good afternoon?" he furled his lips and I would've cringed at how good he looked when he did, "Still using them fifty cent words huh?" He heckled meanly.
"Yeah. Still. But poor you. I'm sure you had to sell out in order use those darn fifty cent with your clients on a daily basis." when Shawn said nothing but stared at me in annoyance, I quirked a brow, "right?"
The room got increasingly silent as Shawn and I stared at each other-me smiling smugly and him scowling faintly. If he wanted to fight, I would give him a fight. I'd been letting him run over me lately because I thought and felt I deserved it. Although I still felt that I did, I was beginning to detect when it was unecessary and when it wasn't. Now was one of the unecessary times.
Then as if on cue, we both turned to Marissa who was averting her gaze between both of us, thorough confusion gracing her delicate features.
"So Marissa what did you want to do today?" I asked her on a lighter note.
"I wanted all of us to play Uno." She answered promptly and both Shawn and I gave each other dreadful stares. For the first time I could actually see that Shawn was silently holding the same feelings of wariness that I was.
This used to happen a lot. Marissa had an obsession with that game and there were times when Shawn and I would actually have to sit around and play with her even if it was truly something we didn't want to do. It was fun and all but not when she wanted to play all the time.
"Umm..." Shawn cleared his throat, scratching his head sheepishly as he stepped forward, "I wish I could play but I was just about to step out."
"Why do you want step out for?" Marissa asked him.
"Cause I have somewhere to go." Shawn told her, twisting the cap over the bottle.
"But you already went somewhere." She reasoned logically.
"But I have to go somewhere again."
"Why?" she pressed and he sighed heavily. I'm not sure why but my heart stirred painfully. I expected him to want to leave because of me, so none of this should've affected me the way it was. At the same time, I was confused by the pint-sized relief I felt to him leaving. It guaranteed me much less drama.
"Marissa..."
"Hmm?" she batted her lavishly long lashes at him, completely oblivious to the annoyance she was beginning to make him feel.
" I'll be back later. You stay here with Beyonce. You wanted to hang out with her anyway-"
"But I wanted to hang out with both of you. Why do you have to go? Why can't you stay?"
"Because I have things to do."
"Like what?"
Smiling at the two of them, I quietly snaked my way into the living room. I knew that Marissa's relentless fire wouldn't die down any time soon and I knew that Shawn was very much aware of it too.
Ten minutes later I was sitting comfortably in the living room, leg over the other with arms crossed, still listening to Marissa unintentionally back Shawn into a corner with all the questions she missiled at him.
"But why can't you just stay?" she was pleading with him now and when I looked over at them, Shawn's exhausted posture nearly made me burst out into uncontrollable laughter. He was leaning against the wall, fingers rubbing his tightly clenched eyelids. If someone could tire another with questions, Marissa was the one.
"Babygirl..." he murmured tiresomely. It was such a picturesque sight. Marissa with her head fallen back as she gazed up at her brother with large eyes and Shawn with slouched shoulders, one arm over his mid section, the other hand over his face.
"Hmmm? I remember you say you had nowhere to go today."
"I lied." Shawn blundered, raising his head to her, pure exhaustion gracing his features. I rolled my eyes at him for saying that. He'd only dug himself into a deeper hole.
He could try to be slick with anyone else and come out the victor but not with Marissa. She could wear him down anytime, anyplace and that was a clear reminder of the special bond these two had.
"You said lying is bad." She chided him. Shawn stared at his sister like he was about to throw his hands recklessly in the air and murmur a 'fuck it'.
Instead, he murmured,"It is."
"Then why did you lie-"
"Okay Marissa. Fine. I'll stay," he submitted with an effete sigh, pushing himself off of the wall, "But I'm real busy anyway so I can't sit around with ya'll."
Marissa frowned confusedly, "If you were busy then why were you going out? What's the point of staying if you can't stay with us?"
Biting my lip to prevent me from laughing, I watched Shawn's stumped expression as he stared down at his little sister.
Marissa sighed heavily with a dismal shake of her head. She then spun around started towards the living room.
"Why are you always confused Shawn! Just so confused!" She was so earnest with her words and the frustration was so palbable that she was even frowning a tad. When I looked over at Shawn he was looking at her with surprise written all over his face. I even caught him mouthing 'what the...' and that's when I couldn't help but laugh softly. When he suddenly sliced his orbs my way, I quickly turned away while biting on my lip-but it was terribly hard to repress my laughter.
"I'll be in the office if you need me iight?" he said to her finally as he backed up.
"Okay." Marissa said with a sigh, kneeling before the glass coffee table and sitting on the back of her legs as she set the board game up.
"Are you hungry Beyonce?" she asked me suddenly.
"I'm alright thank you." I told her, kneeling adjacently to her by the table. I guess she'd already decided for me that I was playing since she was placing all my assigned cards in front of me. Marissa's mind may have stopped developing at some point in her life, but she was still very smart and keen about various things. This card game was one of them and I guess that's why she liked it so much. She was so used to being brow beaten for not grasping information quickly enough but this was one thing she was proud for knowing so well.
"What did you do today?" Marissa asked me as she picked up her set of cards.
"Nothing really. Just went to work."
"What work? The airbrush work?"
"You mean modeling." I corrected with a soft smile.
"Oh. Modeling." She reiterated with a bright smile and I nodded, picking up my own set of cards.
"But no. I don't model anymore. I quit that a long time ago remember?" speaking with Marissa was very tricky. It's as though she had selective memory. Whereas it was very easy for her to forget, she sometimes remembered the most surprising things.
"It's your turn." Marissa said eagerly, having already sprung up to another topic.
We played for a little bit, Marissa more enthusiastic than I, but I hang on because it was always a blessing to see her so joyous. Shawn had walked by once to make his way to the kitchen and I saw the admiring light dancing in his eyes as he watched his little sister's gleeful demeanor. When our eyes crossed paths, the endearment diminished and we turned away simultaneously.
Marissa and I played for a little while and that's when Shawn returned. Standing behind the cream colored couch where we'd nearly shared a kiss, Shawn leaned forward with his arms folded on the back of it. My mouth watered when I saw his brawny muscles bunching. Gulping hard, I lowered my eyes from him.
"What do ya'll wanna have for dinner?"
"Chicken and potato roti!" Marissa exclaimed immediately, twisting her torso to look at him. I smiled and heard Shawn chuckle. Her constant enthusiasm was enough to create an entire other universe.
"Nah I ain' cookin' tonight." Shawn said easily making Marissa frown deeply. When I met Shawn, I was surprised to learn that he cooked. The only reason why he truly did it or even bothered to learn was mainly because of Marissa and Jude.
"Why?"
"Cause we ran out of food." He told her with a small smile.
"Okay." She capitulated sadly, facing back forward. If there was one thing Marissa loved, it was Shawn's cooking.
"He probably just doesn't know how to cook anymore Marissa." I found myself saying, placing a card on the table, keeping my eyes trained to the table. I don't know what made me say it, but I couldn't help myself.
"Well then Marissa would you like Beyonce to cook?" Shawn seemed to spark off with the challenge and I caught him standing straight up with his arms crossed from the corner of my eye.
"No!" Marissa negated rashly, making me dart my eyes up to hers.
"What?" I gasped and heard Shawn snickering.
Marissa looked up at me unapologetically, "Your food always tasted funny when you cook."
My mouth went slack.
"Do you like my food when I cook babygirl?" I heard Shawn interject.
"Mhmm." Marissa hummed honestly, absently stamping her card on top of mine.
"I rest my case." Shawn murmured and I could hear the smirk in his voice but didn't look at him because I'd want to wipe that smug smile off of his face. Those were the times I defied Marissa's incapability to lie.
"I'll order pizza okay?" he directed his question to Marissa.
"Okay."
"What do you want on it?"
"Everything but those black oluvas stuff." She said with a faint scowl, looking down as she tried to shuffle the cards.
Shawn laughed and I buried my face in my hands as I laughed. Marissa was such a mess sometimes and it was funnier to me because she just went about her business as Shawn and I laughed.
"You mean olives honey." I corrected her when I'd finally recovered.
"Olives?" she looked up at me and I nodded.
"Olives...it sounds like Olivia." she repeated as if it was one of the eight wonders of the world.
"Aye you cool with that Beyonce?" Shawn asked me. Smiling stiffly, I nodded without making eye contact.
In a few moments Shawn had disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Marissa and I to play another round of her game.
"Beyonce?" she called out suddenly.
"Yes hun'."
"What are you getting Shawny for his birthday? It's coming soon."
It was indeed and I'd been mindful of that.
"I'm not really sure. What are you getting for him?"
"I don't know." Marissa said earnestly.
We played quietly for a while until she spoke again.
"So did you see Dreux?" Marissa asked me suddenly. I was taken aback but shouldn't have been. I knew that this was coming at some point.
"Yes I saw him earlier today. I work with him at the hotel. I'm a server and a housekeeper now Marissa." I explained, knowing I had to be precise with her.
"You work with Dreux?!" she completely disregarded everything I said and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes I do."
"I wanna work with Dreux." she said with a pout as though she'd been left out.
"Aye hold up," we heard and turned to see Shawn by the kitchen window, his cell phone by his ear, "Why you so worried about dude?"
"Dude?" Marissa whipped around, her hair swinging with her, "Who is dude?"
"Dreux." Shawn corrected, narrowing his eyes as though the name had a lame connotation to it.
"He's my friend."
Shawn shook his head faintly and the disapproving color in his eyes made me itch to annoy him when I remembered how he behaved last time he stopped by my place.
"He asked about you today." I informed Marissa.
"Really?!" Marissa squealed thrillingly and that's when I saw Shawn glaring at me.
"You don't even know him Marissa." He reminded her after tearing his eyes from me.
"But he was nice to me." Marissa reasoned.
Furling his lips, Shawn shook his head yet again and I rolled my eyes at him and glanced over at the TV, which had been flicked on not too long ago. His rigidity was so grating on the nerves sometimes. .
"What's wrong with him Shawn?" Marissa asked him somberly. I heard Shawn sigh but not give a verbal answer.
Some shifting movements made me turn to find Marissa standing up and walking to Shawn. Quietly, she draped her hands on the windowpane's ledge and stared at Shawn expectantly.
"Hmm?" she pried.
"Nothing." Shawn murmured admittedly. I so wanted to point and laugh in his face.
Intertwining her hands, Marissa rested her chin on the back of them and while smiling, she told Shawn saucily, "Cause you don't know him either, huh?"
Jerking my head backwards, my lips parted in awe at Marissa. Sometimes her sharpness was really surprising and impressive.
The more I talked to her the more I realized that although she was still the same girl, changes were starting to come into light. She seemed a bit more confident and had a double-edged sword for a tongue.
"Whoa. Slow yo roll lil mama," Shawn drew his brows together deeply and frowned a little bit before speaking querulously, "Where do you get off talking to me like that?"
If that hadn't been the cutest thing I'd ever seen I didn't know what else was. There was nothing as priceless as seeing Shawn pout like a little child and I knew Marissa was the only person who could get him like that. The whole scenario brought an instant smile to my face.
Squinting her eyes confusedly at Shawn, Marissa stepped back with a shake of her head. It was Shawn's turn to jerk his head backwards, his brows shifting higher.
"Beyonce I wanna go outside." Marissa announced to me.
Not asking any questions, I stood up and followed her outside through the kitchen. On our way there, we walked by Shawn who was still staring at us through the window. As I walked by him, I don't know thy but I couldn't help but sputter, "I guess she told your ass."
When he scrunched up his features balefully at me, I simply shrugged and followed close behind Marissa to the backyard through the back door.
The first thing that struck my mind about the backyard was its vacuity. Nothing had been done to bring it to life. It was just as good as wasteful space. Taking an all white wicker chair beside Marissa, I sat.
"So what did Dreux say about me?" Marissa asked me next and from there she darted questions all relating to Dreux at me. I tried to answer them as best as I could but Marissa got so eager sometimes that one would find themselves getting tongue-tied.
We were deeply into our conversation when we both turned around when we heard Shawn speak almost thirty minutes later.
"Aye. Pizza's here." He told us both. As I looked at Shawn, I couldn't help but find myself loving the dark shade that dusk gave him.
Folding his sinewy arms, Shawn leaned against the doorjamb and hitched his chin towards us.
"You hungry Marissa?" Shawn asked her.
Ignoring him discreetly, Marissa focused her attention on me, hauling her next question.
"Does Dreux have any brothers and sisters?"
Biting my lip to suppress laughter, I somehow managed to answer, "He said he had an older brother."
"So you iggin' me now." Shawn intervened.
"Hmph!" Marissa huffed and turned the other way. Laughter escaped me but I twisted my lips to prevent anymore from trying to break free.
"Babygirl?" Shawn called out to her with a deep frown that I found to be really endearing. He was surprised just as I was by Marissa's attitude being that I couldn't remember her being this way.
Keeping her face the other way, Marissa never responded to Shawn. After looking at me shortly, Shawn joined us outside, taking the empty seat right beside Marissa. Hunching forward with his elbows on his knees, Shawn clasped his hands together and turned his head towards Marissa.
"What...you like him or somethin'?"
"Yes! I do..." Marissa exclaimed and I smiled at the girl's candor. When she saw the blank expression on Shawn's face, she seemed to shrink into herself and asked in the tiniest of voices, "Is that okay?"
"You can't like him," as Shawn answered, for reasons that I didn't know, his eyes were pinned to me, "He's fucking Beyonce."
Enraged, I shot up to my feet with hands balled into fists, sending my chair knocking over from my jarring movement.
"You son of a bitch! How can you say something like that?! He's just my friend! When the fuck are you going to get that?" I seethed at him with his maddening calm. Oh how I wanted to just glorify myself by giving him another slap. When the vicious thought crossed, I felt a stinging pain on my forearm and flinched. I saw that Shawn twitched a bit too and the result of it came with both of us glaring at a blushing Marissa.
"No cursing." She reminded us softly, making both of us sigh grudgingly.
"Look, Marissa, he's just my friend." I told her, embarrassment softening my tone.
Marissa actually seemed disturbed about something with her head hanging low and her fingers nervously fingering the hem of her t-shirt. Glaring at Shawn accusingly I found that he too was slightly embarrassed and I hoped it was eating him inside to be talking like that around Marissa.
"Marissa can you excuse Shawn and I for a few minutes?"
"No," she shook her head and lifted her head, "You'll start yelling."
"I promise you we won't yell. We just want to talk. Just go ahead and place the pizza's for us on some plates okay?" I asked her. With a deep frown, Marissa nodded as she got up and walked out of the room with her head hang low.
Once I was sure that she was out of earshot, I glared at Shawn again.
"It's one thing to disrespect me when it's just me and you alone but it's another thing to do it when Marissa's in the room. I'm not going to tolerate that."
"Excuse you?" Shawn squinted incredulously at me after a moment's silence.
"And I'm damn sure excused. You can call me whatever the fuck you want, call me a slut, whore whatever the hell you want if that pleases you but don't do that shit around Marissa."
"I was just stating the obvious." He said casually.
"What the fuck is the obvious Shawn? I'm not fucking Dreux. He's a friend of mine...a good one at that. You have no right to talk about him the way you do and talk to him the way you do. He hasn't done anything to you. He hasn't even done anything to Marissa. I know they haven't known each other long but I think I know enough to know that Dreux has some type of respect for her as opposed to most people I've come across my entire lifetime."
Shawn simply stared at me, still with his elbows on his knees, his hands linked together and his brow furrowed.
He didn't say anything.
Somehow my mouth found this efficiency to keep on wagging and on though.
"And hold up a second, I take back what I said. No, you can't call me a whore or a slut whenever you fucking please. You can't tell me I'm known to get around and make assumptions of whom you think I'm fucking without knowing the actual truth of what's going on in my life. I hear stories about you fucking anything with a vagina and breasts but you don't see me walking around disrespecting you to get a rise out of you just for the hell of it.
"I understand you're angry with me about the past, but I've apologized for as long as I can remember and I know that no matter what I say, you wont hear me out. As much as I regret everything that's happened I can't change the past, all I can do is apologize and I'm getting tired of apologizing to deaf ears. You seem to just live off of telling me all this nasty shit just to boost yourself now no matter what I try to tell you. But you better believe that I'm no longer going to tolerate the disrespectful shit that you keep throwing my way without a fight, Carter. At least not in front of Marissa."
By the time I was done with my speech, my heart was racing a hundred miles a minute. I felt a familiarity with a part of me that I hadn't tapped into for a long time, and that scared me a little bit. Rooted to the floor, I was stuck with paralysis, waiting on baited breath for him to fly out of his chair, throw me up against the wall and do whatever he pleased.
Instead, Shawn coolly sat back in his chair, looking straight ahead of him with a pensive expression, his furled hand under his chin.
"Iight then." He said calmly.
I'm not sure what was more shocking at this point. Him thrusting his tongue down my throat, or him sitting as calm as an evening breeze along a serene beach.
"Wh-What do you mean 'iight then'." My suspicions of him were still riding high, and now I suddenly wanted to slap myself for wishing he'd grabbed me and pressed his lips against mine.
"Okay then." he stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets.
It became quiet. Nothing but the
His eyes reached across the dark evening to mine as he spoke.
"You're right." He clarified levelly.
"I am?" my heart was thumping mercilessly in my chest.
He nodded.
I scrutinized, assessed, and searched his handsome face for any lurking signs fraudulence. I found nothing but overflowing sincerity. This was so unexpected that I never said anything in response because I hadn't rehearsed anything beforehand. Everything that I'd practiced in my mind included me spitting venomous words his way or figuring out in my mind the mathematics of how I'd calculate fighting him off if he dared tried to kiss me with those luscious lips of his.
"Yeah," looking down at the ground, Shawn walked up to me with the slow measured gait of a predator moving in on prey, "I'll leave you alone."
He was finally standing in front of me, the scent of his cologne waving over my nose like someone waving a piece of candy in front of someone who was trying to remain sugar free. I had to let my head fall back just so I could view him towering me. I couldn't count how many times I'd looked at Shawn's lips and felt a flash of both hot and cold when I remembered how they'd punished me. Like he was a force of radiating heat, I felt myself faltering and melting as he stood in front of me, but I kept myself poised and regal.
"Everything that happened," Shawn shrugged, "It doesn't matter from now on. It's over and done with anyway."
For a long time I blinked at Shawn foolishly.
"So we're not going to talk about it? Or at least try to work it out?"
"No," he snorted, "Why should we? It's the past...we can't change it remember? And we don't need to work it out. We already know our places. I'm living my life and you're living yours so there ain' really anything to work out."
Compressing my lips tightly, I began to get a little bit agitated. Although his words were true, they irritated the hell out of me for some reason.
"So Imma leave you alone ma. You ain' my business no more. But," when I felt Shawn clipping my chin with his thumb and finger, grading my head slightly backwards as he leaned closer to me, "you see that girl in there?" his striking dark eyes shifted sideways and when I followed them, through the window I could see Marissa seated on one of the tall stools in the kitchen, munching away at her pizza.
Feeling Shawn's eyes back on me, I looked back at him and forced myself to remain standing strong beneath those smoldering orbs. He was still holding my chin with my head angled backwards, his face only inches away from mine.
"She's my business and I don't like this sudden attachment she has to Dreux. You know why. It might not seem serious right now but I know Marissa enough to know when she starts takin' shit to the heart. So I'm gonna ask you...nicely...to stop trying to excite her and stop stringing her along with all that talk about him. Cause it ain' gonna happen. I ain' about to let somebody else take advantage of her."
Now it was Shawn's turn to await a response from me like I had done with him earlier after giving him a lengthy speech, but I was at a loss of words. He held my gaze, still holding my face in place by my chin, waiting, waiting...but I couldn't bring myself to say anything.
When he realized this, his eyes dropped to my lips with an inscrutable flare. My heart stopped beating.
Then, he let go of my chin and stepped back. Without another word, Shawn circled me and let himself back into the house.
Upon hearing the latch catching the backdoor, my heart tripped over itself when air finally rushed back into me.