Some Day One Day

33

The day was muggy from the rainfall that had not too long ago fell. The past week had been filled with nothing but grey skies, leaving the air melancholy and dull. My mood reflected the days that went by with a slowness that nearly drove me to insanity.
Work was not only back breaking but also mentally challenging. I'd always return to the house with not only aching limbs but also an aching heart.
The reason for my aching heart was not a mystery.
After what had happened between Shawn and I in the bathroom, I made no plans to stay. Knowing that it was very unethical of me, I'd chancily called Dreux and begged him to pick me up. It hadn't taken a lot of begging on my part because he said he'd be there right away. He probably only agreed from the urgency in my tone.
A little while before he came back, Ojay and Angie had finally come downstairs but I stayed isolated in Angie's kitchen where she joined me later on, leaving the boys in the living room. Knowing me better than anyone else in the world, Angie picked up on my discomfort immediately. At some point, Shawn had showed up to get a bottle of water. Nothing had ever annoyed me as much as the complacent expression on his face. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs at the casual, laid back demeanor he enforced even when he spoke to both Angie and Ojay.
Thank God he hadn't tried to speak to me again because that would've granted his cheek another burning meeting with the palm of my hand. The last comment he said still came me shivers when I thought about it.
When I'd suddenly announced I was leaving, everyone, except Shawn of course, was surprised. All he'd done was sit on the stool across from me on the centered counter. He then began to drink his pilfered water idly, watching me with a nonchalance that was as peeving as a cat clawing on board.
I'd left fuming while Shawn watched me boredly, unaffected by what had just happened.
Now here I was, a week later, still hot and bothered by the memory. And why had I gone to bed every night since that day thinking about the kiss right before I laid my head to rest?
I'd unfairly ignored my phone all week mainly because of the stress work created and this neverending rollercoaster with Shawn and I.
I was standing at the stove, heating up some tea when a soft knock rapped at my door.
Turning off the range, I wiped my hands with the kitchen towel and made my way to the door. I was expecting Dreux because we were supposed to go for a movie, but I wasn't expecting him this early though.
When I checked the peahole, I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me.
Nevertheless, I opened the door. At first, I didn't react. I didn't know how to.
Marissa was standing right in front of me.
I think my true reason for lack of having a reaction was because I was watching closely for hers first.
Her almond-shaped haze eyes grew wide, the green flecks of them flickering beamingly. Then they glistened with what I guessed were tears.
Her beige skin was unchanged and still like her brothers flawless and unfairly smooth. Her lashes were still a mile long. The shape of her mouth still emulated her mother's.
She still resembled the same old, uniquely beautiful Marissa...only now she wasn't a little girl anymore. She was a woman.
It brought instantaneous tears to my eyes because I'd always envisioned being there with her every step of the way in her growth, protecting her, making sure nobody else hurt her. I then recalled how I'd fled without telling her goodbye because I'd been too much of a coward to face her.
"Beyonce?" as she said my name as though it were something ancient, more tears afflicted her eyes.
"Is that you?" she asked, her perfect features twisting in confusion and slight frustration. When she suddenly looked to her side inquiringly, I knew that someone was there.
I knew who was there.
"It's her." He murmured, sending shivers cascading through me. I didn't confirm that it was him though because I was too busy worrying about what Marissa would say to me. I didn't care about remembering whether Shawn confirmed it to me when she'd come back. I didn't even care about how she got here and why.
All I could do was anticipate her reaction. Did she hate me now? Was I but a stranger to her?
I waited, and waited.
Slowly, Marissa's face broke into a smile, the tears dangling from her lashes loosing grip and tumbling down her flushed cheeks.
"Beyonce!" she squealed, welcoming herself in and giving me a hug.
Lost emotion flooded back into my heart, making my eyes smart with tears of my own as I reciprocated her hug strongly.
"I've missed you so much." I told her fervently when she pulled back, blinking away my tears. She roved over my hair suddenly.
"You hair," she exclaimed before frowning, "What did you do?"
"I cut it and dyed it." I explained, brushing off a leaking tear from the crease of my right eye.
"Dyed?" she asked with high, impeccably arched brows.
"It's when you change the color of your hair."
"It's color black."
"Yes it is."
Her eyes twinkled with adorable hopefulness.
"Can I dyed it black too?"
I couldn't help but smile and once again, my eyes stung with more tears.
"Of course you can. How did you get here?" I asked dreadfully.
When she looked over to the left, my assumptions were further more confirmed.
"Shawn brought me here." She said happily, the amount of love she had for her brother shining through in her eyes the way they always did whenever she talked to him.
Reluctantly, I stuck my head out of my door to find Shawn posted up against the brick wall. Although I could only see his profile, I could see him well. Adorned in a jacket, the hoodie draped over his head of course, he looked off towards the wet street, a toothpick jutting from the corner of his lips. His hands were casually embedded in his pockets.
I hated the butterflies in my stomach for ever existing.
"Oh." I murmured and returned to my position in the doorjamb.
Marissa looked slightly confused all of a sudden.
"Shawn," she began petulantly, disappeared behind the wall and reappeared with her arm chain linked around Shawn's.
When he saw me, his features remained unchanged and expressionless.
"Don't you wanna say hi to Nima?" Marissa asked cheerfully.
"Sup." He murmured in a way that said he truly didn't care.
"Hi." I responded for politeness' sake. And by politeness I meant Marissa.
She still looke a bit confused and I knew why. When Shawn and I looked at each other briefly, I knew that he knew why too.
"Now we can all be happy again," she said so elatedly that I felt guilty. She let her head fall back to look at her tall brother appraisingly.
"We don't have to miss her anymore Shawn. I told you, she would come back," she turned to me and grinned, "I knew she would come back cause she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. Right Beyonce?"
Reflexively, my eyes flew up to Shawn with extreme contrite. He was already looking at me with an expectance for an answer that made me extremely nervous.
"Yes." I forced the word through my mouth, never once taking my eyes off of Shawn. He lowered his eyes incredulously before raising his brows sarcastically and looking to his right.
"Beyonce your eye is doing that thing it does when you're mad," Marisa pointed out and I whipped my head to find her frowning confusedly, "Are you mad?"
"No. no I'm not. Come inside." I offered to assuage her suspicions. For the most part it wasn't her to make Marissa forget or let go of issues.
I wish I could say the same for her brother.
"Bye Shawny." Marissa told Shawn, giving him a hug and pecking him lightly on his cheek. He smiled softly, and it was a smile filled with love and endearment.
"Bye babygirl." He told her in a tone he only used with her, returning her hug.
"You're not hugging me tight enough." Marissa said with a pout and he laughed into her tendrils of brown hair, closing his right arm around her firmer.
"Okay," Marissa pulled back, "I'll miss you."
"Miss you too." Shawn responded, returning his one hand to his pocket.
Marissa cheerfully passed me, leaving Shawn and I to face off in the abruptly awkward position we'd found ourselves in.
I looked at him.
He looked back at me.
There was truly nothing to say.
What else were we supposed to tell one another after what transpired a week ago?
Unlike me though, Shawn didn't seem at all bothered or worried, even marred by the kiss. I envied him for his complacent demeanor.
In fact he looked more comfortable than the last time I saw him and that's what set me off kilter.
It surprised me when he spoke first. I'd at least expected him to just stroll back to his car without any words.
"She kept on begging me to see you that's why we're here. I tried calling you but-"
"My phone was off." I clarified for him and he nodded with an unconcerned look on his face, showing that it clearly didn't bother him any that I hadn't answered. He probably knew he was the reason I turned my phone off.
"When did she come back? Why didn't you tell me she was coming back this soon?" I asked him.
"You never asked." He said apathetically with a shrug and I gritted my teeth in mounting aggravation.
"I did ask." I spat. When all he did was raise a brow at me, I felt a band snapping deep within me.
"In the club, don't you remember? But you were too busy looking for the pussy of the night to even hear what I'd said." The words tumbled out before I could muster control of them. This was all thanks to burked and unexpressed frustration.
Shawn tensed my words and with wide eyes of surprise, clearly shocked that I had been that blunt and harsh with him.
There, I thought to myself trying to repress a smug smile, got him. That's what he got for trying to make me feel like crap.
Much to my dismay, the corner of his full luscious lips, the ones that had temptingly punished me a couple of days ago, lifted into a smirk rolled all over dirty mischief.
"What?" he asked, his smirk turning into one of amusement by every passing second. Oh shit, he probably thought I was jealous. Not saying I wasn't, but that's not why I had fulminated on him.
Shifting uncomfortably, I held my head slightly high and smiled falsely.
"I'm glad that she's back." I said instead, unable to bring myself to repeat the words I'd said before. With the way he was smirking he seemed to enjoy me talking about his sexual endeavors, so I dropped it.
Shawn stared at me with a discerning eye that made my knees weak. Then he let his eyes glide slowly down my frame as he spoke.
"You ain' too busy are you? She was just real eager to see you and I couldn't say no." Obviously, because he couldn't say no to Marissa since she occupied the only soft spot in his heart.
Nonetheless, that thought was a fleeting one because I was too well aware that as he'd asked me the question, his eyes hadn't been on my face. They were on another part of my body.
The thick knot that had tied around my throat prevented me from answering. When he suddenly cut his inquiring gaze at me, I nearly toppled over from being caught off guard but somehow managed to remain poised and appear unaffected.
"Oh no!" I shook my head unequivocally, "I'm never too busy for Marissa."
Shawn snorted and gazed at me shrewdly. Turning his face away, he started backing up.
"Well tell her to call me and I'll come pick her up whenever she's ready." He said in a departing gesture.
God, he sounded so good that day, I thought despite myself.
"Say what you really wanted to say Shawn." I found myself saying with asperity, trying to water down the shivering his voice evoked. When he paused at my brazen attitude, he quirked an appalled brow. He then smirked at me strangely, all the while chewing the toothpick with more emphasis. Casually looking off to his side with a low chuckle, he inclined his shoulders forward slightly and turned to me again.
"I said...Tell her...I'll come pick her up...whenever she's ready." He said disparagingly, speaking to me as if I couldn't comprehend if he spoke faster. I was about to retort with something smart but realized now wasn't the appropriate time. If I wanted him to leave early I had to swallow my acidic words and let them burn me inside.
"I can drop her off to save you the trouble." I opted, trying to ignore the way twilight gave his suave skin a beautiful glow that made my mouth water.
Shawn completely disregarded what I said by turning around, speaking to me over his shoulder, "Just tell her to call me iight."
Not awaiting a response, Shawn strolled unhurriedly to his car. I'm not sure what kept me posted in the same spot, but I couldn't help but watch him. Damn, he still had the same swagger that he had as a youngster, only he seemed more appealing now because the confidence was there full force. Anyone with eyesight couldn't deny how those damn hoodies worked wonders on him. He always made any type of clothing look ten times better just by wearing them.
He must've known that I was staring harder than an owl would because he looked at me one last time as he opened his car door. I tried to play it off like I wasn't looking but couldn't because he already knew. Then had the nerve to give me a once over, smirking a little bit, gnawing at that got damn toothpick that gave him this strange air of sexuality before entering his car. What was so fucking amusing to him for him to smirk like that?
And why the hell had the smirk he'd given me make my gut l weightless and my head as light as a feather.
Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I stepped back into the house and closed the door me with much more emphasis than intended, shaking the walls of the house. Then when I realized I had company, I worriedly looked over to Marissa, but fortuitously, she hadn't picked up on it. She was fidgeting in the couch she occupied, her eyes wandering excitedly.
"So tell me what you've been up to Marissa?" I asked her with one of the first sincere smiles I'd worn that day.
"I've stay in Barbados." She answered and my smile widened at her innocent faulting of speaking incorrectly.
"How was it? Do you want me to get you anything to drink or eat?" I asked her as I advanced to the kitchen but halted when she shook her head, patting her invisible stomach satiated.
"Shawny took me for icecream." She said and I smiled at the nickname she called him.
"Ice cream? Chocolate sundae right?" I asked plopping down on the other couch across from her. She nodded beamingly and I smiled.
"Mhmm. Why did you leave Beyonce?" she asked so suddenly I stiffened from the unforeseen question.
Her bright eyes were so guileless that the guilt that assailed me was enough to make me cringe in pain.
"Uh-um," I stuttered grappling for plausible answers, averting my eyes contritely, "My parents wanted me to move away."
"Why?"
"Um...because they wanted a better life for me."
"Oh. Shawn told me that you got married." She said.
"Yes I did."
"I thought you told me you should marry someone you love."
I swallowed hard, "Yes that's true."
"Then why you not marry Shawny?" she sounded so thoroughly confused that I had to look at her to see if her expression was just as confused.
It was.
"...well, Shawn and I...we had different plans. I wanted something else and he wanted something else." I explained lamely.
"That's not what he told me." She said, peaking my curiosity.
"Oh? What did he say?"
"That you didn't love him and loved someone else. I told him that wasn't true because you always tell me you love him. He still say you don't. Do you?"
Her innocent questions were making me break out into a cold sweat. I knew she didn't mean to intimidate but I truly felt that way.
"Uh, well Marissa it's not really that simple anymore." I explained to her, sounding more and more pitiful by the minute.
"Why not?"
Clearing my throat, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
"How about we talk about how things were in Barbados? What did you do while you were there?"
The confusion on Marissa's face was dethroned with excitement as she narrated for me her entire love story. I was relieved to sway the topic from me. I didn't know how long it would last though.
Two hours later Marissa and I were still talking about Barbados and by then I'd never regretted leaving her without saying goodbye. It was something I would never forgive myself for. I loved Marissa like she was the little sister I had never had. Speaking to her reminded me of how vastly she'd made me change without knowing about it.
That's just what she did though.
She touched people's lives without ever noticing; without even trying.
Then a fleeting, spontaneous thought crossed my mind. Marissa, along with Jude, had both left for Barbados to stay with their grandmother a few months after Shawn had started college. I could imagine how being parted from her must have taken a toll on him.
Marissa was Shawn's guiding light, the soul absolute reason why he stayed on the right side of the tracks. She was the main person in his life that gave him a sense of hope. She was the reason why he hadn't dropped out or acted up, or been a full fledged, cold hearted thug like the rest of his friends. She was the reason why he had a soft spot, why his heart was kind and giving, why he always gave people more than they even deserved.
She was the reason why he was different from all those other guys.
Her leaving was probably the reason why he'd been acting up so much lately. There were other reasons, but she was the main factor because he adored her more than he adored anyone else in life.
That's probably why he dragged himself over here-only because she'd begged him, not because he truly wanted to be here.
"I like your place Beyonce. It reminds me of that old one." She said to me, springing from topic to topic the entire evening.
"Aw thank you. I'm glad you like it."
"Shawny's house is nice. Have you seen it?" her eyes glittered like that of a girl's dream that had come true.
"Yes I have. It's beautiful." I was starting to realize that everytime she mentioned Shawn's name, I got nervous.
"But it's kind of empty," she remarked with a small, thoughtful frown, "It's too big. I like here better because it's small and I can find people easily. I got lost yesterday in Shawny's house."
"Oh come on now Marissa it's not that big." I said laughingly at her exaggeration.
"Beyonce?"
"Yes?"
"Shawn isn't happy." She was frowning again and my heart twisted.
"Yes he is. He has a great job and he has wonderful people in his life." I said, hopeful that she would buy my reasoning.
Her next comment told me that she didn't.
"I don't know why he looks sad. He tries to smile but I know that he's sad. Do you think it's because I came back? Maybe he doesn't want me like Mommy or Uncle Curtis didn't want me. Sometimes Grandma doesn't want me. Maybe that's why she sent me away." Her eyes were downcast and she was fumbling with her fingers.
"Oh no honey. Your Grandma loves you. And Shawn's very glad that you're back. You're the only reason why he smiles you know?"
Marissa looked up at me and smiled faintly, "Maybe he'll be happy since we're both back."
My eyes faltered and I sighed, rubbing my nape warily, "Yeah, maybe."
"So who did you marry?" Marissa prompted next and I fought a grimace. Thank God I was saved by the knocking of the door. I sprung up to my feet almost too eagerly to go answer it.
I was surprised to find that it was Dreux. Talking with Marissa had made me forget the date that I had with him.
"Sup?" he told me with a warm smile that I returned as I moved in to hug him.
"Hey how are you?"
"I'm good," he shoved his hands back into his pockets, "You ready?"
I bit my lip guiltily and stepped back to let him into the apartment.
"I'm so sorry Dreux. I had an unexpected guest." I explained to him as I closed the door.
By then Dreux had noticed Marissa and I was surprised when I saw how taken aback he was. Most people were because of her beauty so it wasn't really a shocker but I smiled nonetheless like a mother who was proud of her child.
"Hi." Marissa greeted him with a wave.
"Sup." He literally had to tear his eyes from hers and when he turned to me, I was smiling at him suspiciously.
"Um Dreux, this is Marissa. Marissa this is Dreux."
"Hi Dreux!" Marissa said ecstatically with a pretty smile.
"Sup Marissa." Dreux returned her smile thinly. He was probably caught off guard with her immediate friendliness the way anyone who met her was.
He turned to me to speak, but Marissa spoke to him again.
"How are you?" she asked him with a warm smile and I found myself smiling at the whole thing. Dreux's reaction was to die for.
"I'm good. You?" he replied with propriety.
"It's fine, not good." Marissa corrected him, her eyes so innocent that it was all I could do to laugh. Everytime Shawn corrected her mistakes, if she ever found someone else with the same mistake, she would emulate her big brother and correct them too. It was something that got her into a few arguments because some people mistook it for her being a smartass when that truly wasn't the case.
Dreux's stunned reaction was priceless and I bit my lip to squelch the laughter I felt rising up in me.
"Uh...thanks...?"
"You're welcome." She told him with another smile.
Dreux stared at her speculatively before shifting his gaze back to me.
"So uh," he glanced down at his watch and back at me, "What's the plan then cause the movie is about to start."
"Well, I can't leave her here. Could she come with us? I'm so sorry Dreux I should've told you but..." my voice tapered off because I didn't have the heart to tell him that it had slipped my mind.
The look on his face told me he already knew but he nodded nonetheless.
"Yeah. Sure." He said despite himself. I could just hug him at that moment. I'm glad he wasn't asking too many questions.
"Marissa we're going to go to the movies okay?" I said to her and she instantly squealed with excitement, barely able to remain seated.
"What movie?" she asked me and that's when I remembered that it was a horror movie that Dreux and I had planned on seeing. I knew for a fact that Marissa didn't like scary movies. One time I made the mistake of letting her watch one with me and it took Shawn three hours to stop her from crying.
"Uh...you know that new um, that new love comedy that just came out?" I asked Dreux in hopes that he would get the message. Dreux stared at me with circumspect for a while.
"Yeah...yeah I know the one you're talking about." He said even though I knew that he knew better.
"Yay!" Marissa shot up to her feet, "Are we leaving now?"
Still holding Dreux's gaze, I mouthed a 'thank you' at him.
I knew all of this must have been awkward to him, but I would make sure to explain to him later.