"Are you really allergic to chocolate?" Marissa asked a smiling Dreux with discerning narrowed eyes.
"Yeah." He answered with his attention solely on her. He was riveted by her jade eyes and from the way he looked at them it was like he wanted to get inside them or something.
We were at the picnic Dreux had long promised Marissa-the one Shawn said she could attend only if I accompanied them like I was some chauffeur. He got on my damn nerves sometimes.
"But everybody likes chocolate!" Marissa argued, her pretty face contorting.
Despite my own woes, I couldn't help but chuckle at her.
"I'm not everyone Marissa..." Dreux explained, dimpling into an enormous grin when Marissa's eyes widened before lowering again.
"So what are you?"
"Someone who is allergic to chocolate."
Earlier, I'd left Dreux to explain to her the wonders of allergy and she found the topic so riveting which was why she wouldn't let the subject go. As Marissa knew it, everyone and their mother was supposed to love chocolate the same way everyone was meant to get up in the morning.
"Marissa why do you keep asking him about chocolate?"
At my question she turned to look at me for the first time in fifteen minutes. Breaking her gaze with Dreux made him remember that I had accompanied them after all and he too glanced my way. The look in his eyes was apologetic but I smiled faintly at him to let him know I didn't mind at all. It was nice to view other people instead of being always being consumed by my own problems.
"Because," she fished in her jacket pocket and cluttered some bars of candy onto the table, "I bought him some chocolate."
Putting a hand over my mouth to stifle some laughter, I looked up at Dreux who was as stumped as I-only he didn't laugh.
"Whoa..." Dreux muttered.
"All of this down the sink."
"Down the drain honey." I corrected.
"All of this down the drain." She rectified with wide eyes and when I nodded she turned to Dreux with a frown. An almost-smile tickled Dreux's lips as he regarded her, his eyes twinkling with interest.
"You really got that for me?"
"Mhmm."
"You didn't have to babygirl."
"But I like you. Shawn used to get Beyonce nice things all the time because he liked her. What should I get other times?"
My cheeks were already flushed at what she had said and upon calling my name out along with Shawn's, Dreux glanced at me but only for a brief moment. He was always so taken with this girl that nothing else could keep his attention for too long.
"Well since you got me something how about I get you something next time?"
Marissa's cheeks got ruddy as she flowered into a beautifully wide yet coy smile, "Really?"
"Really."
"What will you get me?"
"That's for me to know."
"And for me to find out."
Marissa's words struck me hard and I stared at her in awe. I would've wondered how she knew the saying if she hadn't heard it enough times to have it imprinted in her memory. That was something Shawn and I used to tell each other all the time-even from the days we barely knew each other.
No matter where I went he would always be there and as the thought crossed my mind I absently placed my hand over my chest where pain brew. When Dreux acknowledged the motion I passed it off as me scratching off an itch.
"Girl you are on it today." I told Marissa with a pinch of admiration.
"On what?"
"Nothing." I dwindled immediately and was glad that Dreux divert her attention immediately.
"So what do you like doing for fun?" Dreux asked her suddenly and Marissa's eyes lit up.
"Watching movies." she said in a small voice and Dreux laughed.
"What movies?"
"The ones Beyonce and, and me watched at night with popcorn."
"Really." Dreux murmured with an amused drawl and from the eager way Marissa nodded the dimples on his cheek deepened.
The quaking of ducks interrupted us and we turned to the pond where a clan of them congregated.
"I like feeding ducks too." Marissa said earnestly and I laughed softly. So did Dreux.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because, they get happy when you give them stuff. I like making people happy. Don't you Dreux?"
Dreux became quiet at Marissa's words, and seemingly uncomfortable. His lips parted but he seemed at a loss of what to say to her. It made me wonder why Marissa's question had hit him so. Shrugging, Dreux focused on the crumbs of his disposable plate, folding his arms on the table.
"Yeah," he cleared his throat and for the first time forced a smile on his lips, "Yeah I guess so."
"You must like making people happy." Marissa carried on oblivious to Dreux's thoughtfulness.
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
"Nothing. You make me feel happy inside every time I see you. Does it make you tired? Because it's all the time and I don't know why. But it feels nice. I like what it feels like it feels better every times I see you." Marissa continued. She wasn't trying to soup him up or anything of that sort. She was stating what he did to her as though it were a simple fact. And when I looked at Dreux who had brought his eyes up to her I could see that her words had touched him. He looked at her in a way that I hadn't seen before-it was the type of look that even the most gifted actor couldn't fabricate.
Looking at the two of them and the way Marissa blushed to the way Dreux gazed at her with admiration, I felt myself getting a little bit nervous.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, something was beginning with these two. I'd been all for it weeks ago but I'm not sure I thought it would manifest into something real.
Maybe I was nervous because I was actually watching two people fall for each other right before my eyes. As unlikely as they seemed, the chemistry was undeniable-electric enough to jolt me.
"You're looking at me funny." Marissa murmured suddenly, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.
Dreux's composed features relaxed as he broke out into a tooth-paste commercial smile before he laughed. I smiled at Marissa wondering how someone could be so loveable.
"My bad."
"You're not bad Dreux," Marissa frowned deeply and lowered her head sheepishly, "It's just I feel strange when you look at me like that. Please don't say that you're bad nobody is bad."
Dreux's laugh augmented and so did mine, "I meant I'm sorry. You're just real beautiful."
"My brother must be beautiful too. Beyonce looks at Shawn like that all the time."
"Hey honey do you want to go feed the ducks?" I offered abruptly, ignoring the way my cheeks burned as I pinched off bits and pieces of bread from my sandwich and placing them onto Dreux's cleared plate.
"Yes! Please?" Marissa shot up of her seat with brimming enthusiasm.
"Okay. Go along with Dreux now." The covert look I gave him let him know I was giving them admittance to be alone since my presence was causing some kind of blockade in their conversation. Many a time Dreux had caught himself from being open to her because I was there. Although he was extremely polite about it, I'd learned to read people well enough to know that he wanted to get to know her without the hindrances. The long phone conversations they were having-which by the way I knew would send my bill skyrocketing-weren't enough.
"You sure you don't want to come?" Dreux asked as he stood up slowly and I shoed him off. Marissa was already speed walking towards the cluster of ducks with her bread in tow. Shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, Dreux glanced at me one last time as if to see if I was sure but I told him to carry on. Ever since we'd arrived he'd been giving me circumspect looks. First it was because I lagged behind when we'd first arrived at the park because of obvious reasons. I was still sore from last night and had even been late to pick Marissa up because my movements were painfully slow at work.
Drawing his brows together thoughtfully, Dreux suddenly tilted his head, his eyes latched onto my neck area.
"What?" I asked self cautiously. Ever since last night I'd been on edge about anything and everything. Ever since then the strangest thing made me aroused and I'd mentally damned Shawn for making me this way and for me to allow this to happen.
"You hurt yourself or somethin'?" Dreux asked suspiciously and my face became so feverish I wanted to place my hands over it.
"What do you mean? Hurt myself?" I asked in a fluster, folding my arms over my midriff tightly as though I were exposed to the world.
"Did someone hurt you?" he asked with that protective nature I'd come to learn he had.
"No!" my denial was so frantic that a couple walking by us gave us questioning glances.
"Nobody hurt me Dreux. What foolishness are you talking?" I smiled shakily at him, smoothing my work skirt with my palms, "Nobody hurt me. It's just uh...well I...oh nevermind. You wouldn't get it. But no, nobody hurt me."
Oh how the irony of my words were biting me in the ass. Even as I said them I felt Shawn inside of me-full, hard, and smooth. The memory alone was enough to get me so hot and bothered I shifted in my seat. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, be merry or angry. Damn him!
Shawn had once told me that a man always knew when a woman had gotten some. When I asked him how he knew he'd given me a sorry explanation that men were born with this chip in their mind that always detected this kind of thing.
And the way Dreux's features mutated into a knowing smirk let me know that that damn chip was flickering in his brain right now.
"Oh! Oh...I see. It was that kind of hurting huh?" He said with a nod, putting emphasis on the word 'that' as he backed up.
"Dreux!"
"What?" his smirk widened and when all he did was stare at me expectantly I was unable to come up with a plausible explanation other than the obvious. Gnawing on the Nail of my thumb, I looked away, fighting a smile of my own, foolishly giving myself away.
"Well damn you been keepin' yourself busy huh girl?" Dreux said laughingly and I shoed him off with counterfeit sternness.
"Go away will you? Go to your girlfriend she's waiting for you."
I expected Dreux to deny my playful accusations but instead he smiled charmingly and bowed his head, "With pleasure."
Sucking my teeth, I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head and called out to him as he walked off, "You rotten little thing."
Sighing heavily, I dropped my chin onto my palm, I watched as Dreux grabbed Marissa's hand, stopping her from running smack-dab into the ducks. The way she turned her head and looked at Dreux sent an unnerving trickle down my spine. For some reason I felt like a mother who was watching her child grow up right before my eyes.
Like I'd promised Marissa, I'd accompanied her to see Dreux. She had been so excited and it had shown in her appearance when I'd picked her up. Aunt Meagan had prettied her up for church not really knowing what the occasion was. Although we'd all placated Shawn's worries by branding this a regular hangout of friends, it was truly going to be recorded in the books as Marissa's first date and she was more excited than I'd ever seen her. At work my manager Miss Carolyne at the kitchen had been kind enough to let me prepare a picnic basket. She and Mama from housekeeping had even assisted me in putting everything together. Dreux had been off that day so I was glad he didn't know what I was going to bring with us.
Working with Dreux over the months I knew that he was someone I could trust despite his reluctance to elaborate on his past. He was a master in the art of concealing his past because whenever I tried to probe, he never gave in. When he did blunder from time to time the information was bleak enough for me not to make anything of it. All I knew so far was that the war had changed him from the person he used to be, but the war wasn't the only thing. There had to have been a reason why he left. From the way he talked of his family life I wondered if that was a strong possibility. He did have a deep love for his brother and I wondered if that was the only true family he had.
Although Dreux's affinity to Marissa was endearing I couldn't help but share some of the worries Shawn had. Dreux's character had shown me he'd been through too much in life to start wasting his time on messing with other's emotions. But at times I got nervous because this was the first time a guy had given Marissa his genuine interest, seeing past the beauty that was obvious. Not to say that others hadn't had good intentions, but since she was so easily manipulated they knew they'd got her like a rat in a cat's trap and could barely wait to move in for the kill. They never tried to get to know her as a person mainly because to them, her appearance outshined the true beauty that lay deep within. It didn't matter whether their intentions had been good or bad because Shawn had never let anyone get that close to his sister. I learned from Marissa that from time to time that Shawn and his grandmother used to have arguments because of the freedom she gave her. All of that arguing led to him demanding that Marissa stay with him because to him that was where she belonged. Despite that I knew it was Shawn's reluctance to let his sister go out of the fear that she'd get hurt and taken advantage of again.
Through those arguments Jude's name had popped up but his grandmother had finalized that since he wasn't on the right track, with her is where he needed to be so that he could get right. A part of me concluded that somewhere along the way Shawn and his baby brother Jude had become estranged and I knew it hurt Shawn to the core. Despite Jude only being nine years old Shawn had tried. It seemed like Shawn tried to reach out to him, speaking to him every single day or at least making an effort to whenever Jude agreed to come to the phone. I'd run into one of his many heated arguments with his grandmother earlier when I'd returned home briefly from picking up Marissa so that she could see him before we went to the park. From the altercation that I heard, it seemed that Jude enjoyed being in Barbados, opting that it was a much better situation than being tossed from relative to relative like some unwanted trash.
Shawn had tried to explain to his grandmother that he was settled and Jude could stay with him now. I think his grandmother had handed Jude the phone because Shawn's tone suddenly shifted as he talked to him. I'd heard him ask Jude if he wanted to come and stay with him and from the disheartened way Shawn's shoulders sagged I knew the answer hadn't been one he was waiting for. His back had been to me the entire time, and when he'd hang up he'd folded his arms on his broad chest and gazed sightlessly out of his office window.
I left before he could notice I was there.
Thinking of Shawn made me recall the morning we had had. All the strange feelings I'd awoken with still streamed through me. When I'd dried myself and walked out into the room I saw that he'd left his car keys on the bed. Too exhausted to argue, I'd taken them and drove myself to work in a daze that nearly made me get into an accident. That forced me to try and push Shawn into the back of my mind but I couldn't. I still felt his hands on me. I still felt him in me. It was a first for both of us because he wasn't protected from me. It brought back memories of another night when we were younger...memories that were too vivid and far too daunting...And the mess of all of this made me realize we would only drill ourselves into further turmoil the longer we left the issue on the shelf.
As if my thoughts had somehow nudged Shawn's, my cell phone rang and from the caller ID I saw that it was him. All day been apathetically ignoring calls but this was one that had my undivided attention. My heart flipped and I bandied with myself whether to answer it or not. I knew the only reason for him calling was because of Marissa but answering would still be awkward. Regardless, I answered him.
"Hello?"
"Sup." He murmured and the sound of his voice reminded me of every sound he'd made last night. Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes bracing myself to speak to him as I rubbed my temple.
"Hi Shawn what's up?" I tried to sound pleasant but it was unavailing.
"Nothing. You?" he asked neutrally.
Shawn's asking of how I was doing was so out of context that I became uneasy and nervous.
"Nothing." I opened my mouth to continue, but my nervousness seized me. What the hell could I say? I didn't know what to say. If I blurted out another word it would be about the past and now wasn't the time to delve into such issues.
He was quiet a moment before speaking mildly, "How's Marissa?"
"She's fine. She's enjoying herself."
"Enjoying herself doing what? What are they doing?" there was an undertone of panic in his rough voice that I could only chuckle softly to.
"Talking. You know, like normal people do. They talk Shawn. You should try it sometime." I spat sardonically, heat radiating into my body. As I spoke I felt the confused rage growing within me, wondering how someone could make me have butterflies in my stomach in one second and in the next have me wanting to strike them from anger that boiled over.
"Oh." He murmured with forced calm and silence filled up the phone line from there on. It was quiet because we knew what really needed to be discussed. We'd reached a point that screamed there was no other way to go about it.
"Well...make sure you're with her at all times okay?" he seemed to ask the question in lack of nothing else to say but his words nagged me nonetheless. I was just about fed up.
"Yes Daddy. Anything else?" I mocked with a roll of my eyes, readying myself for his outburst.
"What did you just call me?"
"I called you Daddy. You might want to write it down in case you forget. It's spelled D-a-d-d-y, you got it? Okay." It would've been pointless to wait for his response because he was quiet even as I hang up. Shaking my head at the craziness of it all, I gazed back at Dreux and Marissa.
Marissa smiled demurely while Dreux laughed with a carefree spirit I had never seen within him before.
As I stared at them I couldn't help but think that the first stages of falling in love can be such a beautiful thing.
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Some Day One Day
FanfictionLove was never meant to be so painful. A fave story of mine by CJ