The next day was the first day after two weeks that wasn't damp and rainy but with clear sapphire skies and a sun that soaked up all the wet and cold away. As I walked to work from the nearby bus stop, I wished I could recognize this with great pleasure but something within me wasn't up to par. My insides felt heavy, like a heavy unopened chest remained there, collecting dust in neglect. Inside that chest were various portions of my past that I tried not to tap into because of the painful power they had over me. Something about that day made the chest heavier than usual, which made me move slower and think slower.
Later on in the day as I worked in the kitchen by the sink, I drained the think lump of a mixture that was meant to create waffles into a tall, narrow cylinder. I had ten more of those to fill and after that I'd be out of there. I couldn't wait to leave. When I'd first stepped into work I'd been wary of how Dreux would treat me but was surprised when he didn't hold any grudges or distance himself away from me.
"How you doin' there?" I heard him ask over my shoulder and turned slightly to put a face to him.
"I'm okay I guess. You?"
"You don't seem okay." He said discerningly and leaned against the sink's edge with folded arms.
"What makes you say that?" I looked up at him shortly with a half-smile before focusing on how much waffle mix I poured into the cylinder.
"You seem out of it and tired." He said observantly and I smiled ruefully at him.
"Aren't we all always tired?"
"I guess." He murmured and I smiled a tired smile, yanking some seram wrap and plucking off of its trundle to compress over the circular top. Dreux made no moves to leave which brought my questioning gaze up to him. He seemed rather pensive as he stared sightlessly at the floor.
"Sup? You're not so into work yourself today." I teased, engraving the deep dimple on the side of his face.
"Nah, just thinkin'."
"About?"
"Nothin' much really."
"Well nothin' much seems to have you so damn thoughtful." I said, making Dreux smile faintly as he shifted slightly from one foot to the other.
"Aye that Marissa friend of yours...how old is she?" the question came off casual rolling off Dreux's lips, but I knew better. It was too out of the blue, too out of context, like it had been a question that had been pressing him for a little bit.
"Uh...she's about twenty-one and a few months." I answered and Dreux nodded with ease despite the sheepish grin that graced my face.
"She's a very nice girl. Nicer than most." I continued conversationally.
"Yeah she is."
"And very pretty too."
Dreux made a small chuckling sound before drawling, "Very."
My eyes widened in amusement but Dreux ignored it discreetly, keeping his face directed towards the floor.
"But yo how could a nice girl like her be a sister to that little gremlin."
My immediate burst of laughter already gave away that I knew whom he was making reference to. It was strange to be laughing about anything that had to do with Shawn when I'd nearly cried myself to sleep with thoughts of him that continuously plagued me last night.
"Dreux..." I murmured when I'd regained my respite and he shrugged at me unapologetically.
"Nigga is like the Satan's son or somethin'." He murmured and I chewed the inner gum of my right cheek to prevent me from laughing.
"That was real mean Dreux." I said even if I found myself partially agreeing with him. Shawn had become a little devil in his own ways.
"He needs to learn a little somethin' from his sister and know how to act around folks. Why is he always so damn angry?"
"Because of me." I answered sourly and gave Dreux a smile just as sour, moving on to the next container.
He was silent a moment, watching as I poured the contents from the large jug into the container.
"Whatever happened must have been real bad then huh." He said and I pursed my lips and furled them before smiling wanly.
"Yeah..." I said with a meager nod.
It was quiet for a few long moments. Both Dreux and I seemed to slip into our own time slots of thoughtful invasion until he spoke first.
"Aye why don't you go ahead and leave. It's past your time for clocking out anyway. I'll finish up the rest for you."
"Oh no Dreux. You have a lot of stuff to do yourself. I'll be good."
"I'm done with everything I have to do. You know how many times I've caught you nodding off into space like you're about to fall over or some shit?" he quirked a brow at me with a shrewd smile and I pouted playfully. His supplication sounded so alluring but then I knew my characteristic of giving up on things easily was something I was working terribly hard to overcome so I didn't accept the offer.
"No Dreux. I can't just leave though-"
"Don't worry about it Beyonce I got you iight? Get some rest, you need it. At least you look like it."
I knew then that Dreux would be relentless in making me leave and it made me wonder how out of it I looked to the naked eye and grimaced when an unpleasant image of myself crossed my mind.
"Okay. Only this once Dreux. I don't know why you're so nice. You and Marissa are alike you know. I think that's why I like you so much, you remind me of her." The last addition of my words was something that came to me without much thought but I figured it turned out to be true.
Dreux's dark brows raised in prominent surprise before he narrowed then in affront.
"Well damn. If I remind you of a pretty, sweet girl then I need to be really worried about myself." He murmured sardonically and I laughed, shaking my head.
"No no no. That's not what I meant. It's just the two of you have good hearts...naturally. Like it's built in you I guess."
Dreux shook his head, his expression suddenly serious, "No I don't. Maybe she does but not me."
I tilted my head at him introspectively, "Why do you say that Dreux? You're a good person. I see it in the way you treat not just me but others too."
"So what would you call someone who's fought a pointless war where innocent people got killed and him among others were claimed heroes for it?" Dreux held my gaze as if waiting my answer; I was too shocked to respond immediately. He shook his head faintly, "That doesn't sound like a good natured person to me."
I was stunned, taken immensely aback by Dreux's words, knowing very well that he was talking about the war. I knew he'd been a soldier before, but I didn't think he'd truly done anything about it. Although Dreux and I had grown to be close friends, there was still a lot I didn't know about him and that was his past. It was likewise for him about me. We very seldom spoke about our previous lives as though we both were ashamed and didn't want to face mistakes we may have made or things we regretted.
"It must have been a really tough time for you." I somehow managed to croak out. When I looked at Dreux's nebulous eyes that day, I realized that I was staring at an expression very close to home. His dark eyes were a mystery of possible pain, hurt, and longing over something that although had happened a while back, still haunted him very much...He held the same look that I had seen in Shawn's the day he confessed and told me about his past...how he came to be...and why things were the way they were....
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Some Day One Day
FanficLove was never meant to be so painful. A fave story of mine by CJ