American Pyramid

An Established Future

Zak

To say I was nervous was an understatement - I was terrified. Today was a big day. Not only was it a day where Tori and I planned to go out and ride together, it was the day I was going to pop the question. I didn't know why I was so scared because we've been together for years and my gut told me that she wasn't going to say no, but I think what scared me is that I'm going to express my absolute vulnerability to her when I was so used to being so dominant when it came to her. I was giving up the "bachelor life" forever, and I was beyond ready to. Ever since I met Tori, I knew that she was the one. I felt it in my gut. I wanted to wake up to her every day for the rest of my life. I wanted her to be the one I had playful food fights with in the kitchen, the one who was the first to greet me when I got home, the one who loved a new flower bouquet like it was the first set of flowers she ever got, the one who I could laugh with before we went to bed, the one who I don't think I could live without.

I have never felt that way towards a woman before, and that all changed when I met Tori. Even in 2010 when we first met, I didn't want to lose my chance with her, but I tried to move on when she made the decision she made to pull back and go the next four years without contact with me, and during those four years, a day never went by that I didn't think about Tori. I felt like I couldn't move on from her, and I'm so fucking glad she decided to return my call that day when I found out that she was living in Utah.

I was so ready to spend the rest of my life with her, and I hope she felt the same.

My heart swelled with happiness when I saw her face light up when she knew that we were going to be riding a trail in Red Rock Canyon for a few hours. She deserved a nice trail ride and hasn't been riding as much as she used to. She certainly deserved it, and I was glad she wanted me to come along with her instead of one of her friends.

Though I'm not the biggest fan of riding horses, I tolerated it because it made Tori happy that I was riding with her. She was always interested in my hobbies, so I always made sure to be interested in hers. I loved going to rodeos with her just like she loved going to exotic car meets with me every time I leased a new sports car.

Arson had gotten a lot calmer now that he was older, and Tori wanted me to ride him today as he was her only horse that was more suitable for my size than Dakota and Dallas. He was a big horse, and knowing how he is with Tori makes me nervous, but I did my best to conceal my anxiety about it and have a poker face.

Like I said before, he's gotten a lot calmer as he got older.

Actually, I enjoyed riding him more compared to her other two. He was spunky and never "trail lazy" as Tori called it. He always liked being in the front of the line, kind of like me. He was always ready to go and didn't like staying still, just like me. Me and this horse had a lot in common, and I think that's why we didn't get along a lot. He preferred Tori as he had been used to her for longer and didn't like most people, and neither did I. Maybe he knew I was still pissed at him for caving her skull in that day, but at the end of the day, he was an animal that was once wild and he reacted in a way of past trauma, and just like Tori said, I can't blame him for his reaction.

She always said that horses were never to blame for any of their actions as they act a certain way for a reason. After all, they're prey animals, so they have a valid reason for the way they react.

The box that had Tori's ring in it felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket the entire time, and I couldn't wait to finally give it to her after all of these years. Fuck, I wanted to do it right now, but I knew I had to wait until the perfect moment. She had never been to Red Rock Canyon to ride, though I knew the area pretty well as I'd come out here to hike several times over the years. While she was sleeping the night before, I spent a couple of hours routing the perfect route that came out to one of the most beautiful overlooks within the Canyon.