Geekular COMPLETED

Chapter 51

Weeks after our Valentine/one-monthsary date, Nolan and I became a little ... What's the word .. separated, I guess. Not separated like we're not together anymore, but whenever we are alone, I can somewhat feel the separation. Whenever we're alone, we tend to get quiet and we won't even sit close with each other. Whenever I try to keep a conversation, it would end easily with his nods and shakes. Lately, we've just been silent communicating. He tells me he's really tired and I see that he is, no lie, because the bags in his eyes. He stress himself with school and basketball practice and watching Nate and Neil; we've never had time together after school. In the weekend, he has stuff to take care of, which makes me suspicious now.

He can't be cheating on me, can he?

Is it because I said the L word too soon?

Please tell me he's not..

Xavier comes to school during the week after our day and still avoids me. He sits with us during lunch, but all he gives me is a nod with a small smile. No conversation. No hug. Nothing, besides a nod and a smile. So two boys that I deeply care about is giving me cold shoulders. And today, they're going to hear something for me.

*************

After my shower, I put on whatever is on my bed; I dress into a pair of Nike jogging pants and a 'Don't Touch Me' graphic t-shirt. Looking in he mirror, I look at myself. The clothes I'm wearing isn't something I would wear to school, but it resembles the feeling I feel today. Lately, I've realize that my outfit is just a mess, out of style. I normally wear something like a button up shirt and jeans or shorts, but now, I'll be in sweats or basketball shorts with plain shirts. Sometimes, my shirts aren't clean, which then I have to cover it up with a raincoat. So I just shrug and said, "fuck it" in my mind as I walk out my room. For the past days, every time I wake up, I feel disdain and anxious. Countless nights, I have the same recurring nightmares; different scenarios but same ending. In every dream, Nolan and I start off sweet and lovey. Always smiling, kissing, touching, you name it. Then, things turn downhill in the middle, which leads to disastrous things. Cheating. Lying. Arguing. Fighting. Backstabbing. Which, then, leads to us being broken up and me being heartbroken and alone. And what made us go down a spiral turn is when I told him that I love him.

"You look terrible." Maddie walks in the kitchen, all ready for school, throwing me a disgusted look.

"Thanks Mads." Finishing off the last piece of cereal, I get off the stool, heading towards the sink, placing my bowl as I get there. Maddie breaks off a banana and grabs a yogurt in the fridge, ripping off the top. A knock on the door sounds off in the foyer. "Hurry up with breakfast. We're riding with Claire today." Walking out the kitchen, I walk to the door.

"Hey best friend." Claire walks in, cheery and perky, as I open the door. "Oh boy.." I look at her, looking at me with a disapproving face. "Again? Scott? Really? It's been days upon days I've watch you gloomy whenever Nolan is not around and see you in horrendous clothes. Why don't you talk to him?" As I about to respond, Maddie walks to us.

"I'm ready." Quickly, I grab Maddie and my backpack off the door side table.

"Let's go." Handing Mads backpack, I rush out the door, speed-walking towards Claire's car. Seconds later, Claire and Mads gets in the car. Claire didn't say anything to me as we drive to drop off Maddie; she would glance at me occasionally, but won't say anything ... Until Maddie leaves the car.

"Why don't you talk to him, Scottie?"

I didn't respond to her question. Instead, I make the radio a little louder with a twist of the knob, then stare out the window as we leave the middle school. Claire knew what I was doing, as she just turns off the radio completely.